Page 60 of Fire

Thunder roars, lightning flashes, and I shriek, burying myself back under my blankets.

Micah chuckles as the soft click of the door closing fires a thousand questions off like rockets in my head.

“That answers that,” he says, and from under the blanket, I watch his bare feet pad closer and closer until he perches on the side of the bed. “I wasn’t sure if you were still afraid of storms or not.”

“Nope. Not at all. This is just how I sleep now.”

“Looks like it’d get hot under there.”

I pull the comforter down a fraction of an inch. “Seattle’s chilly.”

“Right. I forgot about that.” The bed shifts as he stands, then shifts again as he lifts the blankets and slides in behind me. His body is warm and strong and the feel of his arm slipping around my waist, drawing me close, it’s every good thing from my past mixed with every good thing from my present. If I listen carefully, it whispers of the future.

I sigh, relaxing, as I snuggle even closer.

Micah’s breath moves in my hair and his palm is flat against my belly. How could I ever have thought he was a monster? How, when he’s always been my savior?

“This takes me back,” he whispers, almost reverent, like our past is something to be cherished.

“Guess I’ve been a scaredy cat for longer than I want to admit.”

“No way, Ivy. You were so strong. You knew what you wanted and had this whole plan on how to get it. You didn’t take shit from anyone. Those aren’t the actions of someone who’s afraid.”

“Then what happened to me? How did I end up like this?”

He snakes an arm underneath my waist, holding me tight, like he can somehow put me back together through pressure alone. “I broke my promise to you.”

“What? Micah, no. This isn’t on you.” Rain assaults the window, but with him next to me, I almost don’t mind.

“I promised to always take care of you, Ivy. I promised I’d protect you and I’d be there through all the hard parts, and I let you down. Your life got hard, and I wasn’t there.”

“But that isn’t your fault.”

Though maybe it was a little his fault. He says he texted me from his parents’ phones, but I didn’t see those messages when Dad gave me my phone so I could tell Micah I was pregnant. But bringing up the past won’t get us anywhere. We’re here now and things are good. Besides, he’d just swear he did tell me, and the conversation would devolve into a useless argument.

“I could have kept calling,” he says. “I could have flown to Seattle to find you. I could have done so many things differently and any of them would have changed the way things happened.” He buries his face in my hair, breathing deeply, like he can wish us back through time and fix all that’s broken. “I let you down and I’m sorry.”

“No, Micah. I let myself down. I could have stood up to my father. I could have moved in with Grandma sooner. I could have seen Julian for who he is. There is so much I could have done but didn’t.” I turn onto my back to look him in the eyes. “Besides, you’re here now. Making the hard things easier. Making Nell laugh. Protecting me from this awful storm.”

“I’m here now.” His voice is low, firm, like he’s making another promise and before I know what’s happening, I close the distance, then pause, my lips brushing his.

“You’re here now.” It’s a question more than a statement. Because I don’t want to stop at a kiss or pretend we’re only fooling around to get things out of our system. I don’t want to just be friends; I want to fall back into love with him and let our past sweep us toward the future we should have had.

Micah’s finger traces my brow, down my temple, caressing my cheek. “I know we swore we were only going to be a one-time thing but—”

“Fuck one-time things.” I crush my lips to his and he returns the kiss like he’s been just as ready for this as I’ve been. He kneads my breasts, kissing my throat, going for all the spots that make me melt into a molten pile of desire, the spots I swear Julian purposefully ignored.

“A two-time thing, then. Right?” He pulls back, his eyes wild while he slides his hand between my thighs, palming me. He was my first and part of me always thought he’d be my only. My last.

“Fuck two-time things. I’m tired of wanting you and pretending I’m better off not having you.”

Micah stares, shadows hiding his face from view, but then he smiles, cupping my cheek. My body ignites at his touch and I grip his hair, guiding him back to my mouth because I can’t not be kissing him. Claiming him. Remembering him.

His hand slips under my waistband, sliding past my panties. His fingers brush my clit and I clamp my jaw shut, arching my back because dear God yes, he knows exactly how to touch me.

“I miss your moans, Ivy.” His rough voice brushes past my skin as he kisses along my throat, pushing my shirt out of the way to suck my breast into his mouth. “I want to hear you.”

But years of Julian being disgusted by sex sounds has locked my voice up tight.

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