Page 34 of Fire

A couple weeks ago, he helped me through a panic attack, then kissed me like he never stopped loving me. Tonight, he shifts his weight from foot to foot, then drops his gaze and ambles away.

Why didn’t I try harder to get a hold of him?

When I get home, Nell and I pack our clothes into suitcases and load them into my car. We eat dinner with Grandma, and she makes me promise to remember her house is always available if we need it. She hugs me tighter than usual before bed, then again the next morning.

“You’re not alone, Ivy. Whether or not this thing with Micah works out, I’m always here. In the meantime, I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines. And if you happen to get a picture of you know who in his birthday suit, don’t be too shy to share.” She gives me that crooked smile of hers and pats my cheeks, hugging Nell hard before we make the drive to Micah’s—a yellow three-bedroom home on the water. I park in front of a two-car garage and kill the engine.

Nell unbuckles her seatbelt, then freezes when she notices I’m not moving. “What’s wrong, Mama?”

“Nothing. I’m great. This is good. Real good. Everything’s…good.”

“Then why aren’t you getting out of the car?”

Because I’m equal parts excited and scared to death. Because this feels like a terrible idea wrapped in a great idea and I have no clue how this is going to work. Because I don’t know how to tell you that Micah is your dad and I want to stop making stupid decisions and—

“I’m just a little nervous, I guess.”

“Because he looks at you funny too?”

I laugh because in a way, she’s right. I’m afraid Micah will never look like my Micah again.

As if on cue, he appears at the front door, raising a hand to shield his eyes in the sun. A black T-shirt stretches across meaty biceps and broad shoulders. A pair of cargo shorts are belted at a trim waist and his calves flex as he jogs down the steps.

“His muscles are big,” Nell says appreciatively. I’d bet money her mind is dressing him in Lycra, adding a cape, and hoping he’ll fly through the air at any minute, like any good superhero would.

“He’s a firefighter.” My mind flashes to the charity calendar and Micah’s bare, sweaty, sexy torso and I shake the images away, unbuckling my seatbelt and throwing open the door. “Come on, Nell Bell. Let’s get this show on the road.”

Micah meets us at the hood, smiling, friendly. The brooding, angry man from yesterday is nowhere to be found. “Where’s the truck?” He squints at the road behind me.

“What truck?” I ask, following his gaze over my shoulder.

“The moving truck.” His brow arches like the question should have been obvious.

And, in any other situation, it would have been.

“We didn’t need one.” I pop the trunk under Micah’s scowling gaze and present two suitcases and Nell’s book bag with a flourish. “A moving truck seemed like overkill. We’ve got this and the cot I was sleeping on at Grandma’s, since you said my room is currently an office.”

His dark eyes dart to mine, brows drawing together. “That’s it? Two bags and a cot? That’s all you have?”

He seems angry, though I don’t know why. Hands on hips. Jaws clenched. Sharp exhalation flaring his nostrils. My nerves fly off the handle. If Julian ever looked at me like that, I was in for a tirade, him staring coldly as he listed all the ways I’d let him down again.

But this isn’t Julian. It’s Micah. And things might be weird between us, but they will never be what I had in Seattle. I won’t let it get that bad again.

“We didn’t bring much with us when we left for the Keys and the fire devoured a lot of Nell’s toys.” I shade my eyes to meet his gaze, ignoring the urge to apologize. I am exhausted by the woman I’ve become. Of feeling like every move I make is an inconvenience. I will not apologize for nonsense anymore.

“This is all we’ve got,” I finish, hefting a bag with a smile.

After a tense second, Micah shakes away his angry expression, turning his attention to Nell. “It sounds like you were very brave the night of the fire.”

She squints as she looks up at him. “I basically ran screaming out of my room. The man who rescued Grandma? He was brave. He just ran in there, swooped her up, and carried her out. Mom telled me you’re a firefighter. Did you ever rescued someone before?”

Micah’s eyes cut my way and he flares his hands, looking unsure if he should tell Nell he’s the man who saved Grandma. I refuse to let him miss this chance to earn cool points with his daughter.

“This is the man who rescued Grandma.”

I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help putting a hand on his arm. The jolt of familiarity is like a weighted blanket for my soul. This is Micah…not the man who abandoned me, but the boy I swore I’d always love. He pats my hand and steps away, putting distance between us and me in my place.

Nell’s eyes go wide. “That was you? You’re the guy who carried Grandma outta the fire?”

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