Page 30 of Fire

Sighing heavily, I push those thoughts away to refocus on Angela. “I can’t believe it either, but there’s no denying that little girl is mine. The eyes, the cheekbones, the smile, even the way she introduced herself. ‘Hi! I’m Penelope Michaela Cole!’”

So much energy.

So much hope.

So much confidence.

I love her already and all I know is that she has her mom’s hair and my eyes.

Angela chokes on her coffee. “Michaela?”

“Michaela. As in the name Ivy always wanted to give our first daughter. I just stood there, staring at the poor little girl as it all slapped me in the face. I don’t think I’ve ever felt nothing before, Angel. That’s the only way I can describe it. Nothing. Like I was trying so hard to process what was going on that my body overloaded. And then, when Ivy and I were alone, it all hit me. Grief. Guilt. Anger. This overwhelming love for a little person I know nothing about. If I felt nothing in the beginning, I felt everything by the end.”

“I can’t even imagine.” She places her hand on mine. “Maybe the three of you living together will be a good thing. You’ll get to know your daughter and she can get to know you. Maybe you and Ivy can figure out a way forward. I know how much she’s always meant to you. It’d be nice to see your ‘Ivy face’ look all dreamy and wistful again.”

For years, my cousins have teased me about my feelings for Ivy, saying they could always tell when I was thinking about her because of the look on my face. What would the look on my face say now?

“I told Ivy I wasn’t sure we’d ever be okay again. I mean, she didn’t even bother to call me, Angel.”

She puts a hand on mine. “I know, Mi. That sucks. That hurts. That’s—”

“Something I don’t know if I can get over.” I sigh. “I thought about moving in with Levi, but we’re so different, it’s hard to believe we’re brothers. I’m not sure that would be good for either of us.”

“If Levi’s your only option, you’re better off staying with Ivy. Besides, you’ll have built-in time apart because of your work hours, but you’ll also have time together. And that’s probably a good thing. I get that you’re hurt, and you have every right to feel that way, but you won’t stay mad forever. This is Ivy. And if that’s not enough, there’s a little girl who deserves a chance at a happy family.”

I’ve loved Ivy my whole life, and while that’s still mostly true, part of me still loves her, I’m fucking shell shocked she thought I’d let her raise our kid alone. I drop my head into my hands then scrub my face and sit up. “The twenty-four-hour shifts at the firehouse will help. You know, so I won’t be around the house all that much.” Even as I say it, I feel a pang of regret. I don’t want to abandon them again. “I can just, you know, hang around work more.”

“Will they let you do that? I thought they were pretty strict about the number of hours you’re allowed to work.”

“Like they could stop me if they wanted to. Besides, I’m the best grill guy they’ve got. They’ll beg me to stay.” Working as a firefighter is a lot like joining a family. We cook together, clean equipment together, work out together. There are outreach programs to schools…it requires us to master so many skills beyond extinguishing fires.

“But I don’t even know that it’ll come to that,” I say. “Ivy…well…she’s Ivy. Her dad never liked me and he’s a big part of the reason she believed I could do something so…so awful.”

Angela looks like she wants to say something, but I’m already on a roll.

“And you’re right. If we’re living together, it’ll give me time to focus on my little girl. Getting to know her. Taking care of her. Being there for her in all the ways I should have been from the beginning. Ivy and me? We’ll keep things professional. Just friends, you know?”

“I think that’s—”

“A great idea? Yeah. I do, too.”

“I’m glad I came up with it.” Angela laughs, then drops a hand on the table. “I think I’ll finish this coffee then head out, unless you want me to stay until she gets here?”

The thought of Ivy arriving has me staring at the door again like a lost fucking puppy. I laugh at myself and sit back. “I’m losing my mind, you see that, right?”

“I felt that way when I met Garrett. It won’t be like this forever.”

“What happened between you and Garrett is nothing like what’s going on here. You guys had something special, right from the start. Everyone saw it but you.”

“You know what? You’re right.” Angela smiles like I’ve walked right into her trap. “This whole thing with Ivy is different than with me and Garrett. Because with you two, you already know how special she is.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Micah

An hour later, the door to the bar swings open and I glance up like I’ve been doing since I ended the call with Ivy. Only this time, I know it’s her and not some random couple. I don’t know how I know; I just do. I sit up straighter as she steps inside, looking beautiful and nervous and unsure of herself. Her pale hair is swept into a ponytail and she’s wearing a white sundress that highlights slender legs and a trim waist.

Old Ivy was curvy and supple. Heavy breasts, rounded hips, luscious thighs. New Ivy is too thin. She’s bones and angles and harsh lines. It’s part of what makes her look so small, like she’s afraid to take up space, and it doesn’t sit right with me.

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