Page 12 of Fire

“Look. I’ve gotta go. Nell’s school is calling and—”

“Of course they’re calling. She’s acting out because you yanked her away from everything that’s familiar. You know she needs a firm hand and consistency. She was flourishing here. Dowington School is good for her. Whatever you’re doing down there isn’t.”

“I know. I’m sorry, but—”

“Apologies solve nothing, Ivy. Call me tonight. It’s time you put an end to this nonsense. It’s past time.”

The line goes dead and I stare at the screen, blinking back tears. Breathing slowly. Deliberately. In then out.

In.

Then out.

Using Nell as an excuse is bad juju, but I did what I did and I’ll deal with it later.

Tucking my hair behind my ears, I slide out of the car and hurry inside. With any luck, I’ll be safely home before the rain starts.

I peruse the store, carefully tallying prices, passing by treats I’d love so Nell or Grandma can have snacks they enjoy. After all, Grandma is going out of her way to help me and my daughter. She didn’t ask for any of this. I’ll have plenty of time for fresh raspberries after…

Well…after.

I carefully place the food on the conveyor belt and huff a laugh. I did the grocery shopping in Seattle too and never thought twice about cost. My basket was loaded with fresh fruits and vegetables, the best cuts of meat. In comparison, the food I’ve purchased today looks inconsequential.

Maybe Julian is right. Nell doesn’t deserve to live like this. The victim of my chaotic decisions…

I chew the inside of my lip, tapping my middle finger and thumb together in time with the beeping of the register. When my phone goes off with a call from Nell’s school, I nearly jump out of my skin, then sigh in resignation.

You did this, whispers Julian’s voice. You lied about them calling and now look at what’s happening. She’s acting out because of you.

I offer an apologetic smile to the cashier, then answer the call.

“Mrs. Cole?”

“Miss Cole.” The distinction feels important.

“This is Adrian Weathers, the school nurse here at Oceanview Elementary. I have Nell with me. She jumped off the top of the monkey bars and scraped herself up pretty good. I’ve got everything bandaged but thought you should know before she comes home looking like a mummy.”

Nell’s laugh tinkles in the background, making me smile for the first time in hours.

Pinching the phone to my ear with my shoulder, I gather my groceries as the cashier stacks the basket with the others. “Oh, no. My poor Nell Bell. Is she okay?”

My daughter leaps before she looks, her head so full of bright ideas and superheroes that I was on a first name basis with the nurse at Dowington School—a sweet woman who adored precocious little girls like mine.

“She’s gonna be fine.” Adrian Weathers sounds anything but sweet. “She’s learned a good lesson about the proper way to use playground equipment, didn’t you, Nell?”

In the background, I hear my daughter’s stalwart agreement and smile even bigger. That girl is the light of my life. Bright. Vibrant. Full of joy and energy and good intentions. Even over the phone, she makes my day better.

“That’s my Nell.” I head for the exit, shuffling plastic bags as they cut off the circulation in my wrists. “She’s as tough as she is smart.”

“Might I suggest you have a discussion with your daughter about choices and consequences this evening?” The friendliness drains from Nurse Weathers’ voice and I set my jaw. “Impulsivity shouldn’t be rewarded, let alone condoned.”

Ahh. It’s going to be like that. I think Julian said the exact same thing more than once.

The sliding doors close behind me, and I take a deep breath as warm air brushes my chilled skin. The black clouds look closer now and a gust of wind lifts my hair off my shoulders. “Nell’s doing just fine.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree on your definition of fine.”

And just like that, I don’t like the new school nurse.

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