“It’s about balance.” I sit back in my chair, the urge to stand and pace rising inside me. “About knowing who you’re with…”
“I thought I knew who I was with when I was with Julian. He wasn’t an asshole in the beginning, or I wouldn’t have stayed. He was a lot like you are now. Sweet. Kind. Eager to help.”
“So, you do think I’m like him?”
She hangs her head. “No. I don’t think that at all. I’m just…my head’s all twisted and tangled up. You’re right, there is a line, but I’m right too. It’s not easy to see where it is. Not for me. Not yet.”
I take another one of the breaths I suggested to Nell, then another for good measure. “I just want to be a good partner for you and the best father I can be for our daughter. That’s all. Just know that I’m here.” I twine my fingers with Ivy’s. “Not because you can’t do it yourself, but because you don’t have to anymore.”
Everything about her softens and she finally meets my eyes. “You’re something else, you know that?”
The last time she said those words, she was fighting a panic attack in a parking lot and didn’t mean them as a compliment. Today, it’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.
“Come here.” Taking her hand, I pull her out of her chair and into my lap, burying my face in her neck, breathing in the scent of her perfume as she threads her fingers into my hair.
“You did a great job taking care of Nell today,” I say. “You were able to talk to your boss and get the day off. You picked her up so she didn’t have to sit in class, trying to hide all those tears. You’re a good mom, Ivy. You were everything she needed. You did everything right.”
Her fingers tighten in my hair and her entire body tenses. “No one’s ever said that to me before.” Her voice is barely a whisper. Raw and charged with years of pent-up emotion.
I pull back, brushing my fingers over her cheeks. “Nell is sweet and smart and has a good head on her shoulders and that’s all because of you. You’ve sacrificed your dreams to make sure she has what she needs. Thank you for taking such good care of our daughter. I’d be honored for a chance to return the favor. I’m here, Ivy. Ready to stand up for both of you. You don’t have to sacrifice anymore.”
“Oh, Micah…” She squeezes her eyes shut, inhaling deeply. “Why are you so good to me?”
“Because you matter to me, and you matter to her. It’s time you started to see how amazing you are.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Micah
Funny how work doesn’t care how good life is going, it can turn a great day into a shit day. Not the all-hands-on-deck kind of shit day, but the kind where every little thing goes wrong and halfway through it, you realize it’s all on you. You’re the reason everything’s going wrong.
If I picked something up, I dropped it. If I dropped it, it broke. I burned dinner. Pinched my finger with a weight. Carson wouldn’t stop jabbering about wanting to find a piece of ass like I did, and I finally had enough of it and told him to shut the fuck up, which just made the atmosphere shitty and tense.
All I want is to get home and fall into bed, but I promised Tucker I’d stop by to celebrate him finally being cast-free and up and moving, so I grab a cup of coffee, chug it back, then stop at the store for some doughnuts and other treats. It’s one of those foggy mornings, where the air is thick and hazy and humid, promising the day will be miserable as soon as the sun fully rises. As I turn out of the grocery, a bright red Suburban with a See the Keys rental plate and dark tinted windows swerves into my lane, missing me by less than an inch. I lay on the horn and slam the brakes and the asshole rolls down his window to hit me with the middle finger.
Fucking tourists.
And that’s that. Any chance of a good day is destroyed. My mood is so black that I almost decide not to drop in on Tucker, but if anyone’s going to salvage the day, it’ll be him, Analise, and the kids. He has been making great strides in physical therapy. He’s finally starting to see a future that looks like one he’d recognize, and his positivity is contagious. He’s my last best chance at a good mood.
A visit with him is exactly what I need.
Analise greets me at the door with Mitchell and Flora clamoring behind her. “Oh my goodness gracious,” Analise says. “Look who it is. Long time no see! I hope that means things are going well for you.”
“It means he met someone.” Tucker hobbles in from the living room, leaning heavily on a cane. His gait is uneven, but he looks pleased as fucking punch to be up and about.
“Look at you,” I say, thumping him on the back. “Old Man McGee with the cane.”
He returns the hug with one arm. “You say old, I say mobile. Either way, it’s an improvement over sitting on that couch day in and day out.” He leans on the wall as Mitchell and Flora attach themselves to my legs, hugging me fiercely.
As I rub the tops of their heads, I realize I never had the chance to know Nell at this age. Never got to pick her up and toss her over my shoulder, blowing raspberries into her tiny tummy the way I do with the twins. That’s a somber fucking thought.
“You’ll be back to your old self before you know it,” I say to my friend.
“We’ll see about that.” Tucker glances at his wife. “This whole ordeal may have slowed me down some.”
“Nah. Nothing will get you down, isn’t that right, kiddos?” Flora and Mitchell whoop their agreement, then Analise takes them into the kitchen for breakfast while Tucker and I move into the living room. He leans heavily on the cane but he’s walking, and that counts for a lot.
“So,” he says, groaning as he carefully lowers himself onto the couch, “tell me about this woman.”