Page 69 of Fire

“But how does that make sense, anyway?” I kiss the top of Nell’s head and stand, a protective urge rising inside me. “A suspension because she pushed a kid who pushed her first?”

“Oceanview Elementary has a zero-tolerance bullying policy.” Ivy shrugs, looking conflicted on the matter and I get that. I really do.

“But I’m not a bully!” Nell cries, her face crumpling. “Giuseppe is! He picks on everyone all the time. But not me! I’ve never bullied anyone. Right?”

I crouch to pull Nell back into an embrace, running my hand over her head while she cries into my shoulder. “It’s okay, LG.” I rub her little back and try to decide if a phone call to the principal would do any good. “It’s okay.”

“I didn’t mean to be a bully,” she whimpers. “I fight for good, not evil. Like you, Captain.”

My daughter pulls back to look me in the eye, begging me to take her side. I remember that look all too well, though I’ve never been on the receiving end of it. Throughout my childhood, I was the one looking at my mom or dad like that, certain that because I hadn’t acted with malicious intent, I hadn’t done anything wrong.

“You’re a good girl, LG, but even good people make mistakes. Sometimes we have to remember to take a breath before we act. That breath gives us a chance to make the best choice.”

Her shoulders slump and her frown deepens.

“I’m not saying this kid didn’t deserve to be called Pee Pee Fingers,” I say with a smile, “but maybe, if you’d given yourself a chance, you wouldn’t have pushed him after he pushed you.” I look to Ivy because I have no clue if what I’m saying makes any sense or is even close to the right thing to say in this situation.

She’s watching us with a strange smile and watery eyes.

“Thank you,” she mouths, her hand on her heart.

We calm Nell down and she heads to her room to read her comic books, while Ivy and I sit down to my forgotten lunch.

“You’re a good dad,” Ivy says. “Julian would have belittled Nell. Then punished her. There would have been screaming and then this awful cold silence that made the whole house feel like a warzone instead of…” She dips her head toward her shoulder. “This feels more like the way a family should feel.”

What is it with this guy? Is he trying to be the biggest dickhead in the world? Or does he just come by it naturally? It’s getting really hard to tell. Besides, if anyone needs screamed at, it’s the school. The punishment is too harsh for the crime.

“That’s the way my parents handled me,” I say. “Firm, but gentle. Mistakes were learning experiences instead of catastrophes.”

“I remember.” Ivy smiles in that adorable way of hers. “Dad swore they were too easy with you, which was why you kept getting in trouble.”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Though I always thought the reason I was able to get my life together as well as I have is because they guided me through my shitty choices with my self-worth intact.”

By comparison, Ivy, who never got into any trouble, has a heart covered in scars and so little confidence she’s unable to stand up for herself. It’s not right.

I take her hand and press it to my lips, my mind replaying the story of Nell’s no good, very bad, awful day. “If they gave her in-school suspension, why are you guys home so early? Shouldn’t she be, you know, in school?”

Ivy visibly deflates, her gaze darting around the room like she’s nervous, looking for exits and planning her strategy to reach them. “Nell was super upset over getting in trouble and couldn’t calm down. The school thought it best she takes the rest of the day off for mental health. My boss was cool about it, but also not exactly thrilled. This is one of those reasons Julian said I shouldn’t bother with a job in the first place. It kills me that he was right.”

How in the world is that asshole still in her head? For that matter, why is she still so intent on doing everything by herself? Anger flares, but I take that breath I suggested to Nell.

“Why didn’t you call me?” I fold my elbows on the table and lean forward. “I was home. I could have picked her up.”

Because she didn’t think you could handle the situation, whispers a cruel voice.

Ivy looks stunned by the suggestion. “Honestly, I didn’t even think about it. I’m so used to doing everything for her myself.”

Well, fuck.

I didn’t even cross her mind during a crisis.

That’s a punch to the gut I wasn’t prepared for.

What more do I need to say or do to prove that I’m here, ready to make her life easier, ready to help with our daughter as much as I can? I’m ready to be a parent, a partner, but Ivy’s determined to do everything on her own. To prove she’s not dependent on anyone anymore.

“You know, there’s a line between taking care of yourself and being so stubborn you set yourself up to fail.”

Ivy’s jaw drops. “Right. Because finding that line is easy.”

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