Page 56 of Fire

“It’s hard sometimes, the timing of things.” I sip my beer, then set the bottle on the coffee table. “With you here, in my arms, it feels like no time has passed at all. Like you’re right back where you belong. But time has passed. A lot of it. And you’re dealing with all this shit and healing and…” I trail off, unsure where to go from there.

I hate how complicated things are. Life with Ivy used to be the easiest thing in the world.

“Micah?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you kiss me?” Ivy’s eyes are on mine, wide, dilated. She looks so fucking beautiful…and scared to death.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured. Fuck.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Her palm is cool against my cheek as she turns my gaze to hers. “I want to remember how it feels to have someone care about me. I want to remember how to feel like I matter.”

“You’ve always mattered.” I cup her face. “You always will matter.”

“Then show me.”

There’s a moment of stillness. Of the kind of silence that doesn’t need to be filled. It’s just her eyes on mine, my hand on her cheek, my heart beating for hers, and my dick singing the Hallelujah Chorus as it throbs in my pants.

And then my lips cover hers, tasting, testing, my tongue sweeping into her mouth. Her fingers thread into my hair, pulling me closer, urging me for more contact, more touching, more, more, more. Her breath hitches as I kiss along her jawline the way I know she likes. Her eyes flutter closed, and I nibble her earlobe.

“You matter, Ivy,” I whisper, then kiss my way back to her lips. “You matter so fucking much.”

She whimpers, pulling away to meet my gaze, tears shimmering in her eyes. “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like that’s true.”

“Then I’ll say it every day until you believe it. You matter.”

She closes the distance between us again, hungry this time, gripping my chest. “This is a nice addition,” she says, squeezing my pec. “The muscles.”

Her hand travels down my torso, skating along my abs, over my belt, right on down to my cock.

My hips thrust into her palm, desperate for release. “You shouldn’t touch me like that unless—”

“Unless what?” She kisses me again, in charge now, taking the reins of the situation.

I drop my head back onto the couch, relinquishing control. “Unless you mean it,” I whisper. “Unless you’re thinking maybe a two-time thing will work just as well as a one-time thing.”

I should be stopping this, not bargaining for more. The more of her I get, the more I want, but fuck…I’m only human. I thread my fingers into her hair and kiss her deeply. She shifts closer, rubbing my cock as it flexes against my thigh.

As if on cue, Nell’s door creaks open and footsteps thump across the hallway. “Mommy?”

Her feet hit the steps and Ivy and I slide away from each other. She smooths her hair and straightens her shirt while I adjust my pants and cross my legs.

Nell’s head peeks over the stair rail. “Would you read me a story?”

“Of course I will. You go pick one out and I’ll be up in a second,” Ivy says, then turns to me. Her eyes are wide and dilated, her chest heaving. She bites her lip. “Maybe that’s for the best. We probably shouldn’t complicate this any more than it already is. I want you, Micah, but I’m not ready for a relationship and you deserve someone who can give you everything.” She sounds as conflicted on the topic as I am. “Maybe Nell interrupting was a little divine intervention, keeping us from making a mistake.”

“Maybe,” I say, then swallow hard as she heads upstairs, smiling sadly over her shoulder before she disappears from view.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Micah

The night my parents visited was the last time anyone mentioned two-time things. Since then, Ivy and I have settled into an easy routine and from the outside looking in, we’re perfectly good friends sharing a house. She got that job at the psychologist’s office and works while Nell’s at school. I do my twenty-four-hour shift thing and everything’s…fine. She sleeps in her room. I sleep in mine. We watch TV and eat dinner and she gets weird if I don’t let her pay for groceries and utilities out of her anemic paycheck.

I hate it.

But there’s something I hate even more.

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