Page 50 of Fire

“That’s what Probie’s for.” I shrug while the poor guy grumbles and we climb out of the truck to meet the principal. She guides us into the cafeteria, where we set up for our presentation. Windows line one wall. The bulkheads are painted lime green and the walls a bright teal. The names of different classes are written like they’re in a comic book. Math! Science! Social Studies!

It makes me think of Nell. She’d fucking love this place.

“See.” Carson wrinkles his nose. “It smells like school lunch in here.”

With my hands on my hips, I take a deep breath. “I find it kind of nostalgic.”

Carson mimics me in a high-pitched voice, then rolls his eyes.

“I feel like you’ve got a lot of baggage when it comes to school, my friend. You might want to start working through that.” I clap him on the shoulder then put some distance between us. Before Tucker’s injuries parked him on the couch, he used to love coming to these as much as I do. I always equated it to him having kids of his own, but after whatever the fuck just crawled up Carson’s ass, I wonder if it has more to do with the way we see the world.

To me, kids are pure. Filled with hope and unformed potential. I guess Tucker feels that way too, while Carson sees work, burden, and mess. Funny how a change in perspective can change everything.

The kids filter into the cafeteria, upping the sound levels significantly. We go through our spiel and answer questions, then invite them to tour the truck. While the teachers organize the chaos of children into tidy lines, I scan the crowd, pausing when I spot Nell, waving her hands over her head and jumping up and down to catch my attention.

How did I not know she went to this school? My own kid…

“Who’s that?” asks Carson, following my gaze straight to Nell.

Shit.

I can’t introduce him to my daughter before I introduce her to my parents. Forgetting to tell them she existed was shitty enough, but letting someone else in on the secret before they’ve met? Not gonna happen.

“She’s the kid whose room caught fire last week. The electrical fire.” I fold my arms over my chest and pray he drops it.

He doesn’t.

“Oh, right. With the old lady and the hot piece of ass you couldn’t stop staring at.” Carson elbows me in the ribs. “You fuckin’ dog. You got game, Tower, I’ll give you that.”

Ivy is so much more than a hot piece of ass and I want to break his jaw every time he says it. But I shove my hands in my pockets and clamp my mouth shut. He wouldn’t talk about her like that if he knew who she was, and I’ll explain it all.

Later.

When the time is right.

The kids filter through the truck, touching everything in sight. I laugh every time Carson grimaces, his eyes darting to Probie as if to say, “See? That right there is why this fucking sucks.”

When Nell’s class finally arrives, she dashes out of line to wrap me in a hug. I swoop her up and hold her tight, surprisingly emotional over the affection.

“Hey, Nell Bell,” I say while her teacher comes up to pull her back in line.

“I’m so sorry,” she says. “Nell is a little exuberant.”

“It’s okay, Miss Wannamaker. I know him. This is the fireman that saved my grandma and he made an anonymous donation so my mom and me have a house. He lets us stay with him.” She beams, proud to have finally said ‘anonymous’ right while I inwardly cringe. Out of context, the story sounds incredibly suspicious. Carson’s giving me the side-eye. Probie’s pretending he didn’t hear. And Nell’s teacher looks like she’s deciding if she should call Child Protective Services or not.

“This is him?” A little boy with chubby cheeks and a movie star’s smile steps out of line. “The guy?” He points my way. “The one you telled us about?”

“Yes, Giuseppe. This is Micah. A real-life superhero.” Nell sounds so proud, the kids crowd around me, machine gunning questions about the fire.

“How heavy’s her Gramma?”

“Does it stink like farts inside your mask?”

“Did it make you sad to see the burning toys?”

“Isn’t it scary to run towards a fire? I’d want to run away.”

“It’s not scary for him,” Nell says, like she’s known me for years.

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