Page 36 of Fire

“You thought I was scary?” Micah’s shoulders sag and he sounds so heartbroken I want to hug him. But, given everything that’s going on, that’s probably a bad idea.

“The day you two met,” I explain, “you were a little…um…overwhelmed when you stepped into Mr. Doughtry’s office to make your very generous offer.”

Understanding blossoms in Micah’s eyes and his shoulders sag even more.

“I thought maybe you didn’t like me because I talk too much. Some grownups think that’s really annoying.” Nell cups a hand to her mouth and whispers, “Nurse Weathers, cough cough,” then hops back onto the bed.

“You thought I didn’t…?” Micah sighs and crouches to meet Nell eye to eye. “That couldn’t be farther from the truth, Miss Penelope Michaela Hut…” His gaze locks on mine with a heavy dose of ‘oh shit,’ but he wipes it away and replaces it with a smile. “I mean…Cole. Penelope Michaela Cole. I think you’re pretty freaking awesome.”

Nell’s eyes go wide. “That’s a bad word!”

Dumbfounded, Micah turns to me. “Freaking?” he mouths, and I nod.

“That’ll take some getting used to,” he mutters, before returning his attention to Nell. “You gotta help me settle something. When your mom was younger, she was all about butterscotch ice cream with extra chocolate chips and I, being the awesome person I am, am a strawberry fan. Where do you land on the ice cream scale?”

“Strawberry! Butterscotch is gis-dusting.” Nell hops off the bed and Micah holds out a hand for a high five, which she exuberantly gives, then pauses. “I didn’t know you knew my mommy when she was little.”

There’s a moment of charged eye contact between Micah and me. He didn’t just know me; he was my life. He was my reason for being. He gave me strength and encouraged me to chase my dream of becoming a psychologist while my dad tried to talk me out of it, listing all the reasons it wouldn’t work. Nell not knowing that feels like a failure on my part.

“We did,” he says cautiously. “Which means your mom’s pretty awesome too, even if she does like butterscotch ice cream.” He grimaces over Nell’s head, sending a hearty SOS my way.

“Why don’t you go explore while Micah shows me my room. And stay inside!” I add as her feet hit the stairs. “Don’t go near that pool without an adult!”

“’Kay, Mama!” Nell calls and we deposit my bag and cot into an office as sterile as his guest room, like he’s never bothered to come upstairs. There’s a desk. A laptop. Some bookshelves stocked with books he’s probably never read. I wanted to laugh when he told me he had an office. The Micah I knew would have preferred a weight set or a pool table or anything other than a place dedicated to quiet thought or studious work. But, I don’t know him as well as I used to and didn’t want to offend him, so I stayed silent last night rather than risk making him mad with the joke that sat on the tip of my tongue.

“I don’t like you sleeping on that cot,” he says, scowling into the room like it’s the reason I don’t have a bed.

“It’s fine.” Sleeping on the cot is ten times worse than the couch, but a thousand times better than living with Julian. “I’ve gotten used to it.”

Micah sets his jaw, and we head downstairs, where Nell’s peering out the window at the pool. “What should I call you, anyway?” she asks, skipping over to take his hand.

He sucks in his lips, obviously not prepared for the question. We should have talked about this last night, but everything is happening so fast. These are the things he shouldn’t be hit with out of the blue.

Chaos, Ivy, whispers Julian’s voice. All you’re good at is chaos.

Micah chews his bottom lip, pretending to think really hard. “The guys at work call me Tower, because I’m tall. I think your mom has called me Asshole once or twice.”

Nell’s eyes go wide, and she covers her mouth. “That’s another bad word. A real bad one.”

“That’s a good point. You probably shouldn’t say it. Why don’t you call me Micah until we come up with something better.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Micah

The shopping trip takes longer than I thought it would, mainly because saying no to Nell is impossible. Apparently, I intend to make up for missing her entire life all at once. My spending spree gets so bad, she starts telling me no, but I still drag her through several more stores, including a comic book shop on a whim, which turns into a super win. Apparently, the little girl who loves superheroes has never heard of comic books before. We stop for dinner, then ice cream, and by the time we get her room set up with her new gear, it’s after nine.

While Ivy draws Nell a bath, I pour myself a drink and move to the patio to watch the stars. To unwind. To give myself space to stop thinking and process the knot of emotions in my chest and stomach. I sit on one of my deck chairs, propping an ankle on my knee.

Nell is awesome and I love her more with every fucking minute. Which is insane. I barely know the girl. Is it realistic to love her already?

The answer is simple. Realistic or not, that’s how I feel. Maybe it’s just part of being a dad.

I snort. Like I know the first thing about being a dad, especially to someone who spent her entire life without one.

And Ivy? Shit. Spending time with her feels just as easy as it used to, but it’s also so complicated. Two days ago, she hated me. Today, it’s almost like she never left…

…except for me not knowing anything about who this new version of her is or what she’s been through.

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