Page 25 of Fire

“I was young and terrified and made a mistake.”

“A mistake that cost me the first six years of our daughter’s life.”

“I’m sorry, Micah.”

“Yeah, well, so am I.”

There’s nothing left to say, but we’re miles from a conclusion. We stand there, drenched in pain, eager for the other to say something to solve the problem. To erase everything and make it all better.

Ivy’s the first to break the silence.

“I understand if you don’t want to offer your assistance anymore. I do. I understand if—”

I whirl. “Are you kidding me? Do you really think learning that little girl is my daughter means I’d be less willing to make sure you two have what you need? What kind of man do you think I am? Honestly, Ivy. Who do you think I am?”

“I…”

“You and me? We may never be okay. I don’t even know if I can look at you. But me and that little girl? My little girl? We have a lifetime of catching up to do. I have an entire second floor I don’t use with spare rooms and a bathroom. Because of work, I’m not home a lot. I want you to have the space. The offer stands. Take me up on it.”

I reach for the door on instinct, ready to get the fuck out of here before things get worse.

“Micah…”

Ivy’s hand on my arm is gentle. It reminds me of a thousand times she’s been the voice of reason, calming me down when I revved myself up. I look at her slim fingers as a lifetime of memories slap me in the face.

She’s the one.

It’s always been her.

The only person to make me feel like the world makes sense.

Until today.

Because right now? Nothing makes sense. Not one shitty thing.

I meet her pale blue eyes, glimmering with unshed tears, then open the door and walk away.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Ivy

The ride home happens in a blur while my daughter chatters happily in the backseat, going on and on about the nice man who gave her ice cream—a man who looked a lot like Micah’s cousin Nathan. A man who saw the truth of my daughter just as easily as the rest of us.

How did I not see this coming?

“It was strawberry ice cream and it was so good, Mama. I telled him you normally wouldn’t let me have ice cream with strangers. He said that made you pretty smart. Then he said he was a stranger without danger and I thought that was pretty funny. Is that real? Strangers without danger?”

I’m not feeling very smart at the moment. I’m not feeling very anything at the moment. Or rather, I’m feeling too much of everything so my system’s shutting down and now I’m numb.

I left this morning, thinking I was taking a step toward independence. I’m coming home with the knowledge that everything I thought about Micah might be wrong.

Is it possible he actually didn’t know about Nell? All these years, I thought the worst of him and maybe, if I hadn’t taken my father’s advice, if I’d called his parents and hunted him down, everything would be different.

But that’s assuming he’s telling the truth about what happened. He looked like he’s telling the truth, but why didn’t he let me know he wasn’t going to have a phone? One text from him and none of this would have happened.

Is he lying to me? If so, why? Just to get me to live with him? That doesn’t sound like Micah.

And if he is being honest, if today was the first time he knew he was a father, everything makes more sense now.

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