Page 58 of Along Comes Trouble

TESSA

I wakewith Colton nestled against my body, one arm draped over my waist, his bare skin warm against mine. A ball of fur nestles into the hollow spot between my shoulder and my cheek, a low purr rumbling in my ear. I open my eyes and stare out the window facing nothing but a wide stretch of land and sky. Colton never closes these blinds because there’s no one for miles on the other side. With no one to see in, why close off all this beauty? Frost etches angular patterns around the perimeter of the glass, dusts the grass a powdery white, softens the hard black lines of the bare trees against the slate colored sky .

Yesterday was a blur of highway as I traveled out of the warmth of home and slowly bundled back into my winter coat. While my trip to Bliss felt like I was running, the trip back to Brookside felt more like the first time I drove those roads. Filled with hope. Like I was traveling toward my future, and this time, that future included Colton .

Ellie, as always, said everything I needed to hear and then some. I don’t know why I need to have everything planned out in front of me all the time. I thought it was one of my strengths, but now, I’m starting to think it’s also one of my flaws. Can that be a thing? The best thing about me is also the worst thing about me ?

The school teacher costume was an impulse buy. The idea popped into my head when I passed an adult store aimed at catching the attention of truckers. Never in my life have I felt as ridiculous as I did in that seedy building, the single female occupant other than the cashier. Every second I spent in there, I was sure some strange man was leering at me from a dark corner, cock in hand. I braved it out because I was so certain Colton would appreciate the gesture. Man. Was I right. After the couch experience, we had sex three more times. That’s right. Count ‘em. One. Two. Three. By the time I crawled into bed, my throat was sore from screaming, my legs had stopped working, and my whole body had gone limp .

I shift and Colton tightens his grip on me, drawing me even closer as the sheets hiss beneath my skin. I could stay like this for days. Maybe we move long enough to eat, but then we can crawl right back into bed, wrap up in each other and ignore the rest of the world for the rest of forever. Right here, next to him, nothing matters but us. Not houses or mortgages or jobs or families. He is everything I need and I’m everything he needs and that’s all that really matters .

* * *

T he next fewdays pass in some long conversations between Colton and me, all of them good, though not all of them easy or comfortable. He promises to work on finding purpose. To think about his place on the farm, or maybe even off it, and I promise to stop thinking quite so much about the future. I explain my fears about how I’m changing things about myself to suit him and he promises he loves me for who I am. I still daydream about having kids with him, but don’t dare bring it up because that’s the one area where I can’t yet figure out how we’ll survive as a couple without one of us having to compromise, and compromise big .

Time. Space. Patience .

That’s what we need around that issue. The rest will fall into place when it’s supposed to. I spend the days with him, in his trailer. We wake in the morning wrapped in each other. I make him breakfast while he makes coffee. We name the kitten Mario because it looks like he has a big black mustache .

“You know,” I say over coffee on New Year’s Eve. “I can’t believe how easy it is to live with you .”

“I’ve been thinking the same thing.” He blows over the steaming rim of his mug. “This little break from reality has been nice, hasn’t it ?”

“Break from reality?” I scowl into my mug .

“Yeah. You know. You don’t have to work, and I don’t have much to do around the farm. We don’t even have to worry about tomorrow because all that matters is right now. We’re in this happy little vacuum. This little bubble of time and space. I’m going to be sad when it ends .”

Mario jumps into my lap and I distract myself by helping him get settled. I don’t want to think of this week as a bubble or a vacuum. I want to think of it as just how Colton and I are together .

He’s right, of course. Even though we’ve had some deep conversations, we’ve been focusing on everything that’s easy and ignoring the most important problem of them all. And that’s a positive choice. One that will allow us to heal, something we so desperately need .

“You ready for the party tonight?” Colton asks, either totally oblivious to, or purposefully ignoring my confusion .

“Yep.” I take a long drink of coffee and smile when I lower the mug. “Do David and Michelle need any help getting things ready? Should I bake something ?”

“Nope. They’ve got this. All we need to do is show up at his house sometime this evening and ring in the New Year with friends .”

And then, two days later, our bubble will burst. I’ll have to go back to work, live in my own apartment, and face the facts that Colton and I might have spent the last few days fooling ourselves into believing everything is okay when it’s not. We finish our breakfast and curl up on the couch. Spend the day watching movies and finishing up the latest season of Game of Thrones. And then, right after dinner, we trek across the frozen ground to the main house .

Michelle greets us, bouncing Thomas on her hip as we step through the door. “Hey!” Her face softens with a smile. “Look at you two, holding hands, looking so happy together.” She points a finger at me. “You’re good for him, you know? He’s grown up so much in the last couple months .”

Colton opens his mouth to speak, but Michelle interrupts. “Don’t bother trying to deny it or pretending to be offended. Just get in here, grab a drink, and let’s get this party started .”

Colton rolls his eyes. “Yes, ma’am.” Thomas reaches for him, his tiny fists opening and closing. Colton takes him from Michelle, holds him out like an airplane, and flies him toward the living room. Thomas laughs—a deep, hearty sound—and I smile so big, my cheeks hurt .

The living room is a cacophony of kids and parents, each trying to be heard over the other. Claire and Gabe have noisemakers and I swear they’re battling to see who can be the loudest. Lexi bounces baby Christian in her arms while Ty leans down to make funny faces for him. Bailey and Liam share an armchair, eyeing the scene as if they’re studying for a test. When Colton zooms Thomas into the room, all eyes go to us. We say our hellos and I lean in to make faces at Christian while Colton obliges Claire and Gabe in the airplane game .

“He’s so adorable.” I hold out my finger and Christian clutches it in his fist .

Something shifts inside me. Something big and important and all-encompassing. I can’t live my life without a chance to be a mother and watching Colton with the kids tells me all I need to know. He might think he doesn’t want to be a father, but he’s made for it. I can be patient while he figures it out. I can wait for him to see what’s already so clear to me .

“Do you want to hold him?” Lexi asks, holding Christian out for me .

I suck in my lips and nod because, duh. When I take the little guy into my arms, he gives me a giant toothless grin. Staring at that happy face is like looking into the eyes of my life purpose. Colton is supposed to teach me to let go, to have fun, to stop worrying so damn much and I’m supposed to help him heal from the choices of his past and see that he’s being ridiculous when he says he doesn’t want a family of his own. I beam at the child in my arms, feeling truly peaceful for the first time in a long time .

I hand Christian to Lexi when Colton comes back into the room, Claire in one arm, Thomas in the other, and Gabe clinging to his back. “Special delivery,” he says and then falls to the ground, collapsing slowly and dramatically so none of the children get hurt. He roars over peals of laughter until a knock at the door interrupts the spectacle .

“That’s probably Granny Carmichael.” David stands. “Does everyone have their stuff ready?” he asks the kids. “Go get your bags.” The children leap off the floor and retrieve their overnight gear while David answers the door. A few seconds later, he returns. “False alarm. It’s not Granny, it’s Aunt Sarah.” He steps aside to reveal his sister .

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