Page 49 of Along Comes Trouble

COLTON

S arah’s textcame in an hour ago. Just a few words, but they were enough to light a fire under my ass. Get to Tessa’s, she said. You need to talk to her sooner rather than later, Yosemite .

I never dreamed Sarah would go straight to Tessa. Getting involved is not Sarah’s way. I’m man enough to admit that I hide when things get bad, but my sister straight up runs away. The fact that she’s not halfway to Splitsville by now means something. I’m not a hundred percent sure on what it means, exactly, but it means something .

I wait an hour after Sarah’s text so I can sober up, but the delay allows the snow enough time to completely cover the roads. There’s no way any sane person would be out in this mess, but I never claimed to be sane. Besides, I traded my mud tires for snow tires last month. If there’s a vehicle in Brookside that can make it through, it’s my truck .

On a whim, I grab the gin and tonic I bought last week and make the trek out to Tessa’s. Visibility is next to zero. All I can see is snow falling fast and hard. It’s a curtain of diagonal lines cutting through the beams cast by my headlights. Despite my winter tires, I slip through intersections and nearly slide off the road into a ditch, but in the end, I make it to Tessa’s without tragedy. I clomp through the snow and knock on her door, smiling at the warm glow of light through her window and the faint strains of music seeping through from inside .

The door cracks open and Tessa peeks out. “What is it with you Carmichaels and dropping in unannounced?” Her smile fades when she looks past me at the deep tracks my truck left in the snow. “Colton! Do not tell me you drove through that .”

I shrug and smile. “What would you rather I say, Blue Eyes?” It feels so good to see her again. I instantly regret the week we spent ignoring each other. “Mind if I come in ?”

“Well, you’re certainly not going back out in that.” She swings the door wide and pulls me inside. She snuggles in close as the smell of baked goods wraps around me. It’s warm and inviting and feels just like Tessa. “I’ve missed you,” she says, stepping back and noticing the gin and tonic in my hands for the first time .

“I’ve missed you, too.” I hold out the bottles. “I brought gifts .”

She hesitates, looks like she wants to say something, and then shakes her head. “Well come on. Let me get some glasses.” Even though everything she says is right, something about her eyes is wrong. She’s pretending and I don’t like it. Not one bit .

I pour us both a drink and snag a cookie before heading to the couch. “I never would think sugar cookies and gin and tonics would ever go together, but they do .”

Tessa scrunches up her nose as she sits. “Has anyone ever told you that you might be crazy ?”

“I may have heard that a time or two before. Or maybe I’m not crazy and I like this combination so much because I can’t think of a better combination to sum you up .”

She takes a drink and then frowns at me. “What in the world are you talking about, farm boy?” She grins, pleased at the nickname .

“The cookies are warm and sweet. They melt in my mouth, and as soon as I finish one, I want another. The gin and tonic is strong and classic, elegant even. The more I have, the more intoxicated I become until I can’t even think straight. Just like you .”

Tessa smiles and takes a long drink. Again, she looks like she wants to say something, but doesn’t. Instead, she curls up beside me, her head pressed against my chest. Silence settles over us and I consider letting her stay quiet. What if talking about what’s bothering me makes things more awkward? What’s worse? The way we are now? Or the way things might be if this conversation goes the wrong way ?

Just when I make up my mind to talk to her, Tessa sits up. “Colton ?”

“Yeah, Blue Eyes ?”

“I’m sorry I’ve been weird this week.” Fear and relief shoot through me in equal doses .

“Yeah,” I say. “Me too .”

Tessa rests her elbows on her knees and stares into her drink. “I just, I don’t know, I started thinking about the future and it really messed me up .”

A rock drops into my stomach and I clench my fists. “Is this because I don’t want kids ?”

“That. And, well, this.” She holds up the drink and jingles the ice against the glass. “You’re always looking for the fun in life, and I agree that I need to do that more, but I’m afraid I’m losing myself. I don’t drink this much. I don’t stay out this late. I don’t know.” She drops her chin. “I can’t tell if I’m losing my way or if I’m finding it. I’m just…lost .”

“I understand. I really do. I’ve spent this whole week wondering if I could see myself having a family with you. Wondering if you’re worth going against the one thing I said I would never do. The one thing I have good reason to never want. Could I do that for you? Bring a kid into the world to follow in my lackluster footprints?” I shrug, covering up the violent reaction inside my head as my entire being screams NO, YOU FOOL! Children are a non-starter for me. Always have been, always will be .

“Nothing about you is lackluster.” Tessa turns to me, her eyes fierce. “Not one thing .”

“Darling, I live in a trailer on my brother’s farm. The most exciting thing I’ve done in the last ten years is put in a resume for a coaching position with a high school football team. That sounds pretty damn lackluster to me .”

“I can’t use that word for someone who sacrificed his wants and needs for his family. You are not lackluster.” Tessa gives me a ferocious look. “Loyal. Loving. Willing to make tough calls. Yep, you’re all of those things .”

“Or…” I take a long drink. “Maybe I’m none of those things. Maybe I’m willing to give up on my dreams and let someone else take over because it’s easier to do nothing than something .”

Tessa bites her bottom lip and studies me. “Is that how you really feel about yourself ?”

“I don’t know how I really feel right now .”

---