Page 44 of Along Comes Trouble

COLTON

T he first snowfallof winter is always a special event. A hush falls on the world, an eerie stillness you hear before you even get out of bed. The blanket of white covers everything, softening harsh angles into swooping curves. Today, though, is more magical than usual because this isn’t just the first snowfall of the winter, it’s the first snowfall of Tessa’s whole life .

She stands in the field in front of my trailer, her eyes wide with wonder, her body engulfed in a massive coat that reaches her knees. A hat and scarf swallow her head, neck, and chin. Mittens envelope her elegant hands. “It’s so beautiful!” she calls, her reddened cheeks and nose standing out on her fair skin .

“I couldn’t agree more.” I wrap my arms around my stomach, lean against the door to my trailer, and watch her. I could spend the whole day like this, sharing her exuberance. I used to think I was put on this earth for two things: football and working around the farm. Now, I wonder if I’m not meant for three things. Football, the farm, and falling in love with Tessa Morgan .

The thought of football puts my teeth on edge. When I submitted my resume for the coaching position, I told myself not to get my hopes up. But damn it, that’s the thing about hope. It rises no matter how hard you try to squelch it. Expectations are a bitch and tempering them is next to impossible. I haven’t heard a word from the Brookside Athletics Department. Each day, my hope dies a little more. The loss of hope might be worse than never having hope at all .

“The kids will be here soon .”

Tessa picks her way through the snow. “What are we going to do with four kids all day long?” she asks as she steps onto the porch .

“I thought I’d leave that to you. You’re the master of keeping children in line and on task.” I open my arms for her and she cuddles against my chest. I hold her close and breathe her in and suddenly, I don’t care about unanswered resumes. Not right now. Not with her in my arms .

“It’s good of you to offer to watch them all so your brother and his friends can have some peace while they shop for Christmas presents .”

“It’s the least I could do. Besides, the best part is, we get to wind them all up, have a ton of fun, eat a bunch of junk, and then send them home for their parents to deal with .”

Tessa snuggles in even closer. “I’m looking forward to being fun Tessa instead of boring old Ms. Morgan. For someone who works with kids, I don’t get to engage with them as much as I thought I would. Turns out, teaching is just a lot of trying to keep the kids organized and following the rules and reminding them to stay on task. I thought teaching was going to be more…” She shakes her head. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love what I do. I just thought I’d have more chance to shape young minds, to talk with them and challenge them to see the world from different perspectives, to teach them to think and create and…” She sighs. “I do my best, but my job is more about getting them to fill in their math sheets on time than it is Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting .”

“Everyone I talk to says you’re a phenomenal teacher.” I tell her about the time I ran into Devon at the football game. “He says you’re amazing and his wife calls you a miracle worker. Maybe you’re being too hard on yourself .”

“Maybe. Or maybe reality is always slightly less amazing than I imagine it.” She pulls back and smiles at me. “Wow. Listen to me. I sound super cynical, don’t I ?”

“Maybe a little.” Although, after another jolt of disappointment flares through me regarding the coaching job I suddenly want very much, I find myself agreeing with her. Reality can be a harsh wakeup call .

Tessa lets out a long breath. “I think, maybe I just need to worry less about shaping each and every little person that crosses my path—I mean, I won’t stop trying to be the best teacher and mentor I can be—but maybe all the really important stuff, the stuff that matters, maybe that’s something I should leave for when I have children of my own .”

The excited voices of little kids, of an infant’s cries, of boots crunching in snow, and the sound of my brother hollering at Claire stops me from having to reply and thank goodness for that. I can’t imagine telling Tessa I don’t want kids. Can’t imagine the look of shock that would darken her features .

But come on .

Why would I want to bring a child into this life? Carmichaels stay on the farm, and if they don’t, they end up like Sarah. Restless, unhappy, and cut off from the family. Why would I want my kid to grow up pouring all of his energy into this place just so he could watch it go to someone else? That’s a great big no thank you right there. The topic of children is the one spot where Tessa and I will never agree and that worries me, but I brush it away. Things are good. Why invite trouble ?

“Good morning!” David’s voice echoes our way. He raises a hand in greeting while Claire and Gabe race toward us, little Thomas stumbling behind. The little guy struggles to keep up on a good day, but with his snow boots and heavy coat weighing him down today, he’s doomed. Tessa steps out of my embrace and crouches to meet the kids while I lift a hand in greeting .

We make small talk about the weather and Ty hands off baby Christian in his carrier, his diaper bag filled with so many supplies and toys I can’t imagine we’ll need all of them in the few hours he’ll be here. Once the parents are gone and Christian is settled down for a nap, Tessa and I take Gabe, Claire, and Thomas outside for some fun .

Armed with a baby monitor in case Christian wakes early, we build an arsenal of snowballs and have an all out war, our footprints tramping down the snow and our laughter echoing around the farm. Mom and Dad stop by and help us construct a lopsided snowman, and when Christian wakes, Tessa guides us inside where I make hot cocoa for the kids while she feeds the baby. The older children, too wound up to care if they’re inside or not, run wild through the trailer until I holler at them to settle down and Tessa suggests they find a book they’d like to read .

Since the only books I have are Ty’s copies of Game of Thrones , Tessa opts to make up a story. The kids settle down, sipping hot cocoa as she enthralls them with stories of far off lands and mythical creatures. When their parents arrive, they find us sitting quietly in my living room, eating a snack and playing a board game .

David’s eyes go wide and Michelle stops in her tracks. “She’s the child whisperer,” she breathes, staring at Tessa with no small amount of respect .

“Don’t let the calm after the storm fool you.” I flop back onto the couch with a sigh. “There was chaos galore earlier, compliments of yours truly.” Truth be told, the chaos was too much for me. I’m exhausted and would love to shoo everyone out the door, curl up with Tessa, and finish the day doing things that should never happen around children .

After many conversations about the whereabouts of everyone’s boots, the kids pass out goodbye hugs and depart with their parents in a wave of commotion. “Holy shit,” I say, once they’re gone. “That was something .”

“Wasn’t it though?” Tessa beams. “That was a such a perfect day .”

“Really?” I blink in surprise. “That is not the way I’d describe what we went through, but I’m glad you had fun .”

“You didn’t enjoy today ?”

I sit forward. “I mean, sure, it was fun while we were outside, but then when that was over and it was time to come in and everyone was hungry and tired and whining about snacks or wet socks…” I furrow my brow. “That didn’t bother you ?”

“Well, sure. But that’s just life with kids, you know ?”

“I guess.” This is not a conversation I want to get into right now. It has threads that run too deep in each of us, her desire for family and my desire not to raise another Carmichael without purpose are at direct odds with each other. Someday, sure, we’ll need to talk about this, but not for a long time .

I lean over and draw her close. “But you know what the best part of them being gone is?” I trail kisses down her throat, along her jaw .

She tilts her head. “What’s that?” she asks, her voice telling me she’s very aware of the point I’m trying to make .

I cup her breast and angle my body so it covers her. “I have you all to myself.” And then, slowly, deliberately, and with much attention to detail, I show her exactly what I mean .

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