Page 8 of This Is Why

Tyler puts a hand on my shoulder and sensation zings through my body. I close my eyes and turn my chin towards his hand. Even now, after all this time, with his shock about Gabe seething through the air between us, the chemistry is still there. At least it is forme.

“I promise you I left anote.”

“And I promise you, I tried to find you.” I turn to face him and oh my, he’s close. So close. I take a deliberate step back because I can’t think with his body nearly touchingmine.

“How about we skip all the bullshit and get really honest with each other, really fast.” he says, his face stern. “You knew my name. You knew where I grew up. You knew I was in the Marines. That was more than enough information to track medown.”

I can’t believe he’s going to ask for honesty after lying about a note, but I at least, am not afraid of the truth. “You’re right,” I say tears pricking my eyes. “I didn’t try that hard. I knew I was keeping the child and I knew I could raise him on my own and I knew that you had already disappeared on me once. I couldn’t help but wonder what good finding you would do, other than to ruin your life and bind you to me for at least eighteen years? What good would that do any ofus?”

He grips my arms and then lets go and his hands drop to his sides. “It would have given me a chance to do the right thing.”

“Gabe doesn’t need ‘the right thing.’ He needs people who love him in his life, not people who feel obligated tohim.”

Ty shakes his head and lets out a long breath, his eyes traveling across my face and body. “I don’t think I’ve ever stopped thinking about you. Notonce.”

“What?” He keeps changing topics so fast I can’t keep up with him. A man pushes through the doors, music tumbling out after him as he fumbles in his pocket for a pack of cigarettes. He takes one look at the charged atmosphere between us and heads right back inside.

Tyler’s entire demeanor softens and he lowers his voice. “I mean you stuck with me. You’re in here.” He taps his head and then puts his hand right back on my arm, his calloused palm rough against my exposed skin. “And you neverleft.”

I swallow hard. “This is a lot. Like, so much. I don’t know how I feel or what to do. It’s like up is down and wrong is right and…” I shake my head and wrap my arms around my stomach. His words echo in my mind. You’re in here. And you never left. What does that even mean? As soon as I finish asking the question in my head, I know the answer. I understand what he means perfectly because I feel the sameway.

Tyler leans against the brick wall of the reception hall. “This is most definitely a lot. When I walked into this place I was a Marine looking to spend a night taking advantage of an open bar with old friends, but I walked out a father.” He folds his arms across his chest and stares out towards the sky. “What did you tell him about me?” he asks while I study his profile.

“I told him you were a war hero and were gone a lot fighting bad guys. All I knew was that you were a Marine and that seemed like something a little boy could look upto.”

“You weren’t far off from the truth.” Ty clenches his jaw and purses his lips. He still won’t look atme.

I don’t know what to say. I always know what to say, but right now? It’s all so complicated and affects too many people, one of which is the little boy I love more than anything in this world. I can’t think clearly when it comes to him. It’s all just instinct and a fierce need to do what’s right for him. It’s the very same instinct I followed six and a half years ago when I stopped my feeble efforts to find Ty. I can’t second guess that decision now. I can’t. If I do, my whole world falls apart.

Ty turns, the light fixture above the door to the reception hall casting shadows across his face. “Spend time with me. Let me take you out and get to know you. Let me get to know my son.” He closes the distance between us. “Let me show you that I’m not the kind of man who walks out on a woman without an explanation. Least of all a woman likeyou.”

My heart pounds so hard I can hear the blood rushing through my ears. “What kind of woman am I?” Iask

“The kind of woman who stays in my head. The kind of woman I haven’t stopped wanting. The kind of woman who became the bar against which I measure every single female I’ve met since.”

I want to say yes. The word is right there, on the tip of my tongue, and my body cries out its approval. Yes! Yes! Yes! Warmth pools between my thighs and butterflies shiver in my stomach.

“How long are you here?” I ask. “In Brookside?”

Ty smiles, gripping me by my arms and stepping so close to me I can feel the warmth of his body through my dress. “A week. And I want to spend it all with you and Gabe. I want to know you, both of you.” He shakes his head. “I can’t believe how much he looks likeme.”

“A week?” I step out of hisarms.

Tyler’s gaze bounces between my eyes, the look on his face so hopeful that it breaks my heart. “And it’s all yours, Lexi. All ofit.”

I shake my head. “A week isn’t long enough. And Gabe is too young to have you come crashing into his life only to leave again after seven shortdays.”

Disappointment settles uncomfortably on Ty’s face. “Don’t sayno.”

“I’ve already said it. Gabe and I are fine. We’ve been fine. We will continue to be fine.” I turn away. “I’m sorry, Ty,” I say over my shoulder. How can I let this guy sweep back into my life, knowing that I can’t resist him and that he’s only going to leave again? How can I risk that heartache? And worse, how can I do give Gabe a father only for him to disappear again?

I wait for Ty to say something, to keep fighting, to try to convince me that everything will be okay. It won’t take much. He won’t have to fight hard. I already regret what I said because a tiny little voice inside of me wonders why I’m settling for fine when great is standing right in front ofme.

But he doesn’t speak. He sighs and when I turn around, he’s walking away, his chin up and his back straight as he stares up at the swollen moon hanging low in the nightsky.

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