Page 57 of This Is Why

Bailey wraps her hands around her glass. “We’re here for you, you know that, right?”

“I do. I don’t know what I would do without the two of you.” I look from Bailey to Michelle and give them a watery smile. “I feel like I’m losing my mind here,” I say, my voice quavering. “Like up is down and right is left and good is bad and nothing I thought I knew about myself and the way I fit in this world is right anymore.”

Bailey leans forward. “Maybe you can make the best of a bad situation and use this time apart to make sense of everything.” She gives me an apologeticlook.

I sit back in my chair with a sigh. “That’s just it. Things are starting to make sense and I’m realizing that I have done nothing but make a string of bad decisions. When I found out I was pregnant, I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping Ty out of it. I was so sure he wouldn’t care, that he’d rather live his life without trying to figure out how to be a dad or be connected to some woman he barely even knew. But I was wrong not to tell him. My God, was I ever wrong. And then, when he showed back up in Brookside, I honestly thought the right answer was to refuse to let him see Gabe. That wasn’t right, either. That was me being a selfish bitch, thinking my way was the only way. But now, after seeing the way Ty is with Gabe, how good he is for our son—our son, not just my son—to have a father in his life…” I hang my head. “I haven’t made one right decision. Notone.”

“You did what you thought was right at the time,” Bailey says before taking a sip of her drink and setting it back down on the table.

“And that’s exactly the problem,” I say, decisively. “When Ty asked me to live with him, I thought the right answer was to turn him down because who in their right mind uproots their entire life for someone they’ve only justmet?”

“Lex…” Michelle tries to interrupt but I ignoreher.

“But then, I spend one week in Hawaii with him and now I’m ready to go crazy and move halfway around the world only for his life to do the very thing I was afraid it was going to do and throw everything into chaos.”

Michelle leans forward. “Lex…”

I run my hands up into my hair and rest my elbows on the table. “What’s wrong with me? Why is this all so confusing?”

Michelle drops her hand on the table and Bailey and I jump. “Damn it, Lexi! Would you shut up for a second and let metalk?”

Bailey shakes her head as she widens her eyes at me. “I don’t know what to make of this new, forceful version ofher.”

“I think I like it,” I say before turning to Michelle. “I’m sorry, Mish. I’m listening.”

“Thank you.” Michelle sits back with a little nod of her chin. “All those questions you keep asking?” she says. “All the confusion? Maybe Bailey’s right. Maybe you can use this as a chance to let things settle down so it all has time to come together in your mind. I said it before and I’ll say it again, you and Tyler are good together. Really, really good. But if all you have are questions, then you need to slow down until you find the answers.”

“I don’t want to slow down. That’s the thing. I want to fast forward until we’re together again because nothing feels right unless I’m at his side.” Tears burn in my eyes and I swipe them away. “What would you do if you were me?” I ask the two people in my world whose opinions matter themost.

Bailey takes my hand. “What you and Ty have is worth fighting for. It’s worth moving to Hawaii for. It’s worth changing your lifefor.”

“It really is,” says Michelle. “When you find true love, you have to fight for it tooth and nail, even if it means life doesn’t end up the way you planned. I promise you, it’s worthit.”

“As for now?” Bailey smooths a strand of loose hair out of my face. “You have us. We’re here for you, in any way you need us to be,” she says as Michellenods.

“Thank you,” I say. “I’d be lost without the two of you.” I try to smile and then drop my gaze to my lap. “And I’m going to need you girls to help me through the next couple of days because I’m pretty sure my whole world is falling apart.”

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