Page 52 of This Is Why

I nod, not yet aware enough to find my voice.

Ty crouches down to meet my gaze. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” There’s so much concern on his face that I let out a little snort of a laugh.

“God no. That felt so good.” I smile shyly. “I’m just not all the way here yet. That’sall.”

He places a hand on my back and rubs, the skin on skin contact making me sigh in pleasure. “Good. I’m glad.” He straightens and heads into the bathroom. I close my eyes and listen as he turns on the faucet and then open them again when he comes back into the bedroom. He has a damp towel in one hand and swipes it over my backside, cleaning up thelube.

“I can’t believe we did that,” I say when he’s done. “I can’t believe I likedit.”

“I like that about you. You’re not afraid to try new things.”

“With you,” I clarify. “I’m not afraid to try new things withyou.”

“I like that even better.” Ty licks his lips. “Are you ready to move? What do you think about a shower?”

“A shower sounds sublime.” I slide off the bed and stand on quiveringlegs.

“You are such a gift.” Ty smiles, his gaze wandering across mybody.

I blush, at a loss for words again. He takes my hand and leads me into the bathroom, turning on the shower and then helping me inside. He soaps my body, running his hands lovingly over me, cleaning me almost reverently. He washes my hair, massaging his fingers into my scalp and I relax into him, allowing him to treat me like a queen.

Something changed between us today. Or maybe it’s been slowly changing since the moment I met him and just finally became noticeable today. Somehow, I’ve given myself to him. He has the keys to my heart and my soul and instead of scaring me to death, it makes me feel safe. Ty will take care of me. He will cherish and protect me. I know this in the same way I know I would lay down my life forGabe.

I came out here to Hawaii certain that I would go back home to Brookside to continue my life there. As much as I couldn’t bring myself to admit it, I didn’t believe that I would throw away everything I’ve built for me and Gabe in order to be with a man I only met a few weeks ago. But now, having lived here with him, even for just seven short days, I see how wrong I was. Ty is worth more than a job at Grayson Memorial. Ty is worth more than my house or Gabe’s friends.

This. Whatever it is that’s growing between us, this connection that has existed from the very moment we saw each other for the first time in Key West, it’s everything. Bailey said you can’t explain true love to someone who hasn’t experienced it before but you know it when you haveit.

I knowit.

I’m in love withTy.

And not the kind of love people throw around like crazy. This isn’t the kind of love that will fade over time. This is the full blown, real deal, soulmate, kind of love. I breathe because of him. I see him in my son and thank God for the parts of Ty that made Gabe who he is. And while I made a bad decision and kept them apart for the beginning of Gabe’s life, I’m ready to start making up for that. Ready to let Ty shape Gabe into the kind of man who would put his life on the line for his kin and country. The kind of man who continually searches out new experiences and knowledge to help him grow into a better person. I think I might be ready to move out here with him, if he’ll haveme.

I turn to face him, the shower beating on my back. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I know I’ve said it before, but I’m so sorry I didn’t do a better job of trying to find you when I discovered I was pregnant. I told myself I was doing you a favor, fooled myself into believing that we were all better off if I just raised Gabe myself. I was wrong.”

“You don’t need to apologize…”

“But I do. I robbed you of something special, robbed Gabe of the same thing. I was scared and selfish and I’m sorry.” Tears pool in my eyes, making Ty seem to waver where he stands. “There’s nothing I can say to make it better. Nothing I can do to give back the years I took from you two, but if I could, I would. You’re good for him. You’re good forme.”

I loveyou.

The words are right there. I almost say them but swallow them back. Now is not the time for that kind of truth. Not when I’m apologizing for one of my biggest mistakes. I don’t want to cheapen the words by using themnow.

Ty wraps me up in his arms and holds me close. “You did what you thought was best at the time. I don’t fault you for it.” He puts his hands on my shoulders and pulls away. “I don’t.”

I blink back my tears. “If I could take it back, I would.”

“I know. But the past is the past, Lex. We can’t live looking backward, we can only live in the right now. Hell, we can’t even really look to the future because the only thing that is certain is this very moment. Things change in the blink of an eye. And right now, we’re all here, together. You’ve done a great job raising our son, but you don’t have to do it alone anymore. Not if you don’t wantto.”

“I don’t want to.” I stare up into his eyes. “I want you to be part of our lives. I want to be part of yours. I want…” I want to share my life with you, I think but don’t say. “I want you,” I say instead.

Ty beams. “I want you, too. Both of you. For as long as you’ll haveme.”

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