Page 14 of This Is Why

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Gabe streaksacross the grass towards the fountain, his arms and legs pumping furiously. He stops to karate chop the water and then laughs righteously when a jet surprises him and hits him in the face. A lump forms in my throat as I watch him. My son. Mine. If his facial features aren’t enough to prove it, his behavior is. This kid encapsulates everything that makes me who I am. He’s a strong case for the nature part of the nature vs. nurture debate.

He takes off at top speed again, chasing after Claire who laughs wildly as she darts across the grass. He passes her easily and then takes a corner too sharply and runs right into the girl. They crash down onto the grass, legs and arms tangled up in each other. Gabe is up almost as soon as he’s down. He helps Claire stand, brushes grass off her knees, and checks to make sure she’s okay before helping her over to the fountain to wash off the rest of the grass stains.

“That pretty much sums up all you need to know about Gabe.” Lexi looks up at me, her blue eyes filled to the brim with love for her son. Our son. “He’s energetic and competitive and chivalrous and eager to do the right thing. Well. He’s eager to do the right thing as long as it’s his right thing.”

I stare at the boy and nod once. “So, in other words, he’s just likeme.”

Lexi arches an eyebrow. “If you sayso.”

The fountain at The Commons is surrounded by grass which is circled by a sidewalk with benches spaced periodically around the perimeter. There’s a small stage set up and, according to Lexi, local musicians come to play each night in the summer. They’re not always good, she said to me when we arrived, but they’re not always bad either. Right now, the group setting up on the stage has me pretty sure we’re in for the former instead of the latter.

Lexi and I sit on a blanket in the grass with David and Michelle sharing their own blanket beside us while they play with their three-month-old son, Thomas. The sky is blue and the sun is shining and all around us, people have gathered to sit with friends and laugh as their kids splash and play. The atmosphere is low-key and about as threatening as a guinea pig, but I still regularly scan the crowd, looking for anything and anyone out of place. I don’t expect anything dangerous to happen here, but you can’t live the life I live without learning that the worst things happen when you least expectthem.

“Was it weird?” Lexi asks, her eyes focused on Gabe. “When I introduced you to him as my friend?”

“The whole thing is surreal.” I watch Gabe play and swallow down the emotions writhing inside me. “I understand why you aren’t ready to tell him who I am. I might not like it. I’m not sure if I agree with it. But I understand.”

She turns to me, squinting against the sun. Her hair is up in a ponytail and she’s dressed in shorts and a tank top. The low effort look is supposed to tell me that she doesn’t feel a need to impress me. It doesn’t matter. I’m impressed anyway. It doesn’t matter if she’s wearing a bikini, or shorts, or a cocktail dress and heels, she’s captivating.

“He likes you,” she says, indicating Gabe with a little nod of herhead.

“How can youtell?”

Gabe runs up to us and drops down in front of me, water dripping from his eyelashes. “Check it out. I found a four-leaf clover.” He opens his fist to display the crumpled bit of green in hispalm.

“That’s awesome.” I pick up the clover and verify that yes, it does indeed have four leaves. “How did you findit?”

“I fell and it was just right there.” He shrugs. “I’m just lucky, I guess.”

I hand it back to him. “Sounds like a great problem tohave.”

My son beams at me as he puzzles out my words and then laughs. “You can keep it,” he says, gesturing to the clover and then sprinting off towards the fountain again.

“That’s how I know,” Lexi says when he’s gone, settling back on her elbows. “Gabe doesn’t waste time with people he doesn’t like and he definitely doesn’t give away finds like that to some random guy he justmet.”

I shift and pull my wallet out of my back pocket and slide the clover inside. “Well, good. I like him, too.” I put my wallet back in my pocket as the band on stage strikes up a few wobbly chords.

“Oh, sweet Jesus.” Michelle leans around me to raise her eyebrows at Lexi. “Thank goodness Liam isn’t here or he’d be having a fit right now. He can’t stand it when the music is bad,” she explains tome.

Lexi nods, laughing, as the lead singer leans into the microphone. His stomach is too soft for the skinny jeans he’s wearing and his hair is too thin for the hipster haircut he thinks he’s pulling off. “Good evening, Brookside!” His voice booms through the speakers and a loud screech of feedback causes baby Thomas to startle and frown. The people gathered react with lukewarm enthusiasm and the band lurches into a song. It’s not good. Not at all, but that’s not enough to keep me from having a good time. If anything, it’ll only spur me on to find a way to make the night even better.

I stand and offer Lexi my hand. “Dance withme.”

Her eyes go wide. “Where?”

I gesture towards the grass in front of the stage. “There.”

“No way.” She shakes her head. “Not in front of all these people.”

“What does it matter how many people arehere?”

“Because I don’t know how to dance and don’t want to make a fool of myself.” She looks away, as if breaking eye contact is enough to make me goaway.

“You won’t make a fool of yourself. Not with me around.” I bend down and take her hand, pulling her to her feet. “All you have to do is follow mylead.”

Lexi shakes her head again. “I promise you, I can’t dance.”

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