Page 25 of Shadow Fall: Part Two

FUSION

CHAPTER TWELVE

HALWEN

"Em," I said when he handed me a cup of jasmine tea—the second one in an hour. I'd lost count of how many he'd handed me in the six days since we lost Kaida.

Emlyn didn't reply, just gave me a smile and disappeared into the kitchen again. I hated that smile with a severity that surprised me. It did nothing to mask his pain, nothing to cover his grief, but he kept smiling like he couldn't do anything else. He hadn't let me in, hadn't spoken about our loss or anything that happened on the island or in the prison. Neither had Wyn, which worried me.

I blew on my tea, standing in the middle of the living room, aimless. Kai and Harvey only spoke about what happened in enraged tirades, snarling their increasingly gruesome plans for revenge. They'd only stayed in Hell instead of searching out the titan because I'd begged them not to go. I was barely keeping my shit together; I couldn't handle them getting hurt. Or killed. Again.

I scrubbed my eyes as tears burned them and choked down a mouthful of tea, listening to Em knocking pots together in the kitchen. He never stopped baking, like he knew he'd break down if he paused for even a minute. The house was full of sweet buns, fresh bread, fluffy doughnuts, cheese straws, homemade pizza, and a whole croquembouche sat on the dining table, untouched. None of it changed the fact we were missing a newborn baby girl.

I took another drink and hissed when it burned my tongue. I didn't allow myself to think about what Verena whispered to me in the fake timeline. Yet I declined glasses of wine and bottles of beer, and even though I knew I was so fucking stupid for even entertaining the idea, I didn't throw myself into sparring like I would have done. I only fought the punching bag, even if part of me wanted to go out into Hell and kill someone, just to vent this pain tearing through my chest, crushing my stomach into a twisted knot.

I put the tea down on the sideboard and jumped when the front door slammed open.

"No, because you're a stupid fucking bastard," Wynvail snarled, drawing a deep sigh from my chest. I punched the bridge of my nose.

Kai's answering laugh was low and rumbling, a sound that preceded a fight.

I slumped into the hallway as Wyn shut the door behind them and said, "Don't."

I didn't mean for my voice to be tired, but I was exhausted, all my energy drained, my heart sitting broken inside my chest.

"Just … don't."

Kai slumped, his eyes heavy with guilt as all the fight went out of him. One of them was swollen and bruised, already closing, and there was blood all down his mouth, soaking the royal blue shirt he'd worn. That blood should have sparked something inside me, some life, but I couldn't muster the magic.

"Another fight?" I asked, swallowing when Wyn crossed the hallway to slide his hand along my waist, pulling me into a hug. I wilted, the weight of his arms a profound relief.

"I found him getting the shit beaten out of him," Wynvail said with disapproval. "He stole from a guard at the outpost halfway up the Black Peak. The stupid bastard went for the biggest, meanest guard."

"On purpose," Kai informed us, scathing. His eyes were empty, completely dull when he strode past us, dragging his ankle in a way that told me something was broken or sprained. "I'm not a fucking idiot."

"Yes, you are," Wynvail muttered, the words brushing the top of my head as I clung to him.

Kai just laughed, that dark, bitter sound that was becoming far too familiar. I clenched my jaw to fight back a fresh wave of tears.

"Oh, honey," Wyn murmured when he saw my face shining with tears. He tucked me closer and held me tight, resting his head against mine, his soul as hollowed out as mine. The others had been through this before, but Wyn—Wyn never had. I brought my arms up and hugged him, wishing I had something profound to say, wishing I had anything to offer except our shared pain.

"Fresh cinnamon rolls," Emlyn said brightly, bringing the smell of sugar and cinnamon with him from the kitchen. He held the plate out to us. I didn't have the heart to tell him eating made me feel sick, so I took one and nibbled at the edge.

Wyn's hand slipped under my shirt, pressing his palm to my skin, and held on tight. "I'm not letting go until you finish that roll."

In any other world, this might have led to bickering, then to kisses, then to eye-rolling sex against the wall, but this wasn't another world. I just took a bite of the sweet roll and choked it back with minimal chewing. If I tasted it for one second, I'd—

I lurched away from Wyn so suddenly that his hands slipped off me, his touch searing my back, making my heart twist tighter with yearning. I dove down the hall and up the stairs, throwing the cinnamon roll onto the marble counter in the bathroom before I dropped—carefully—to my knees.

Vomiting was miserable, and I hated it. Whatever energy I had left drained as I retched, mostly bile splashing the bowl. I couldn't eat much, and not just because of—what Verena had said to me. I didn't see the point in eating when everything tasted like ash. Em knew I was barely eating, but neither of us was acknowledging it head on.

"I'm staying with her," Wynvail bit out, the softness gone from his voice.

"Like hell you are," Kai snarled, the bathroom suddenly writhing with snakes, his magic pressing to my skin until all the hairs rose along my arms.

"If you stay, you'll just pick another fight."

"I'll pick a fight right here, right now if you don't fucking move." Panic entered Kai's voice, strangling the rage until fear reigned. "Let me inside. Let me near her!"

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