Page 15 of Shadow Fall: Part Two

She felt real when I held her, when I nursed her, when I set her down in her basket and watched her chest rise and fall with tiny breaths.

"She's real to me," I whispered, my shoulders shaking as pressure built in my chest, my heart caving in.

Not again. I can't do it again. I can't love a baby and lose her. I can't.

But pain pinched my ankle, and I screwed my eyes shut so I didn't have to see the gleaming blue vein around my ankle, biting so deep that blood welled constantly from it. Like Wane's back had bled constantly. Because none of the life I'd lived for the last hundred years was real. It fell apart like a window struck with a bullet, until I couldn't look at my memories of that life without seeing reality on the other side.

I couldn't have been pregnant for the past nine months because I'd been fighting gods and titans, and for most of the last century I'd been in a shallow grave in the Forest of Halwen.

The shadows wrapped tighter around me when my tears dried up, and I stared emptily at the forest. I wished I was numb, wished I couldn't feel, but my whole body splintered with pain. It shattered through my heart, cracked my bones, and filled every vein in my body until I screamed inside my head.

There's a chance you could be safe. You could have everything you wish for, Halwen. You just have to shatter this timeline and walk away from the fight, no matter who Cronus takes captive. Walk away even if he hurts your friends, even if he threatens your family. If you walk away, you, your mates, and your children will be safe.

My ears rang. "I don't have children."

You have Verena, he argued, fierceness entering his voice. She's your child, if not by blood, then by fate. You found her, even in the timeline that never came to pass. Do you think that was a coincidence? She's yours, Halwen.

Shadows cupped my cheeks, and my bottom lip caved in. I didn't want to listen, didn't want to hear a single word he said. He was asking me to rip my life apart, to let go of Kaida when I’d only just got her, and I couldn't.

I refused to.

Do you remember what I told you? Wane could use the power he inherited from me to reshape the world, and so could any descendant. I didn't mean my descendant, Halwen. His voice gentled, until my throat swelled shut. I meant his.

"You're being—cruel," I cried.

I got the eerie sense Erebus just kissed the top of my head, and fatherly affection swallowed me. Fuck.

Kaida isn't real, Halwen, but right now you, your mates, and Verena are unconscious on an island in Crete while a sadist guards your bodies—to keep you imprisoned on the island.

I swallowed. "So?"

If he was trying to convince me to go back, he was failing. I was happy with my mates, we weren't hunted or hurt; we were safe. We had a newborn baby, and—

So, you are not alone in your body. And Cronus knows this. He chose this timeline very carefully, to give you everything you dream of, so you would never leave. You are not alone in your body, he repeated.

"You mean I'm possessed?" I demanded, emotion entering my flat voice for the first time in minutes.

Busty sighed sadly. I'm trying to be vague so no one else will understand my meaning. Put it together, Halwen. You can do it.

"I don't care."

You must! he snapped, suddenly louder, furious. You have a choice to make—take all that magic growing inside you and end Cronus once and for all or take your family and hide forever. But staying in this false timeline will only succeed in keeping you captive.

I swiped my hand through the shadows, trying to scatter them. When that didn't work, in a small voice, I admitted, "But I'm happy here."

You'll be happy in the end. Trust me.

I did, and I didn't want to.

"I'm going home," I told him. "Don't enter my dreams again."

Busty sighed, the shadows ebbing away from me until I could see the forest again, massive branches forming a leafy canopy so only dappled light made it through. I knew these trees, had dug myself out of a grave watched by them. This was the Forest of Halwen.

No.

I shut out everything Erebus told me, bringing Kaida's scrunched, red face into the forefront of my mind. A smile crossed my face, and I took a step away from the forest, the shadows, and every vile memory that had speared my mind.

And yet… pain sank through my foot when I walked, and I glanced down with a hiss. My heart stuttered when I saw the blue thread wrapped around my ankle, biting into my skin until bone was visible.

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