I retched again, miserable and sick.

"Enough!" Wane said in the dark, sonorous voice that had emerged on the island. He didn't raise his voice, didn't need to shout; his words carried, a clang of power going through me. I jumped, unaware of when he’d arrived. "Both of you, go cool off or fight or whatever you need to do. Stressing out our mate isn't helping."

Kai let out a sigh, so deep it must have been dredged from the very depths of his chest. I felt the guilt drown him through the bond. "Haley. I'm sorry."

I grabbed a tissue and wiped my mouth. "It's okay," I promised because his voice was so small, so diminished, and I couldn’t stand it. "It's okay, my night."

When I turned to face them, Kai ducked his head, his hands curling into fists on either side of him. But I knew Kai; he wasn’t suppressing a fighting streak, he was hiding tears.

"Take care of him," I told Wyn, holding his turbulent stare. "Please."

His shoulders slumped and he nodded. Wyn looked more unkempt than ever, his white shirt wrinkled, half tucked at his waist, the other half hanging over his trousers.

"I'm fine," Kai muttered, his voice thick. "I don’t need anyone else to take care of me."

Wyn grabbed the back of his neck and dragged him into the hall. "None of us are fine."

I climbed to my feet and turned on the tap, rinsing my mouth with water that tasted so different to water from the safe house in Edinburgh. I missed that place more than I’d expect, but we weren't safe there. We had to keep Verena safe. We had to.

"Where's Harvey?" I asked when Wane wrapped his arms around me from behind, his shadows enfolding me too, velvety and warm, like he knew I was cold inside.

He pressed a long kiss to my hair. "In the garden with Verena."

"They're still training?" I asked, and ignored how gruff my voice was, my throat burned raw.

"He's teaching her how to throw a pulse of sunlight."

"And filling her head with plans of revenge, no doubt," I said tiredly, throwing water over my face before shutting off the tap. "What are we gonna do, Wane? We can't stay here when Phoebe found us so easily."

"Phoebe is a prophet," he pointed out, wrapping more shadow around my waist, a protective coil. "But you're right. We'll move on in a few days."

I nodded. Waited to feel something about that, about being back on the run, staying one step ahead of a monster who wanted us dead, but no emotion formed. I was just so fucking tired.

I avoided my reflection in the mirror, turning to press my face into Wane's chest, letting his warmth bleed into me.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly, trying to push through my tiredness to feel his soul where it tethered to mine.

Wane's chest rose and fell with a sigh.

"No," he said after a moment. "I thought—it felt … real." His voice choked. "She—"

I held him tighter, crushing him to me and not particularly mindful of either of our aches and injuries.

"She was ours, she was real, and I—I held her. She was in my arms and then I opened my arms, and she was gone and—she's fucking ours. It's not fair. None of this is fucking fair."

I stroked his back, screwing my eyes shut as his pain breached my soul, a perfect mirror image to my grief.

"I'd rather live another century owned by Cronus than endure this. I can't stand it, itzaia. I can't. And now—"

He was quiet for so long that I breathed, "Now?"

"Haley," he said, so soft it was barely a whisper. A confession, far bigger than my name. "I—we—" His throat bobbed. He shook his head. "Tell me what you need to eat. It's all I can think about. You need to eat, you need to be strong, so—anything, whatever you want, just tell me and I'll get it."

Oh, gods.

No.

I shook my head over and over. "I don't want anything."