Page 23 of Peppermint Bark

I’d borrowed a Bible from the chaplain’s office, the weight of it heavy in my hands after years without opening one. I flipped to the book that always brought me the most comfort: The Book of Jeremiah, written by the prophet my parents had named me after.

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born, I set you apart,” I began, and Sarah’s eyes glistened with hopeful tears. Mama recited that passage to Elijah and me, saying she could tell us apart in the womb from how we kicked and wiggled. He was active at night while I was the early bird, so she never got any sleep.

As we waited for news from surgery, I read nearly the whole book aloud, including my favorite verse: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to give you hope and a future.” I showed Sarah the tattoo on my wrist for that verse, 29:11. Elijah suggested matching tattoos the month before he left for a year abroad in Tokyo. He said it would remind us both of our plans when he returned.

Plans I’d smashed to smithereens, because I wasn’t Jeremiah anymore.

“Promise me, Grace,” Sarah said, grabbing my wrist over the verse numbers. “I need to know Ruby will have a bright future.”

Without making guarantees, I reassured her, “I’ll do everything I can for her.” And when the surgeon came to the waiting room to inform us Ruby had pulled through, I held Sarah as she collapsed in my arms.

So it had been a heartbreaking loss last month when Mariana called to tell me Ruby was her newest foster care case because Sarah had passed. Apparently, Sarah had a heart condition too, and didn’t know it until it had been too late. Ruby’s Grandma Jean moved into their house — not a permanent solution, given Jean’s failing health — while the foster agency tracked down Ruby’s father. They’d rather place her with family, but their options were limited.

“To be honest, I’m worried about Jean’s health. If Ruby faints, I’m not sure Jean can handle it,” Mariana confessed as we walked to the parking lot.

As I glanced back at the brick social services building, wondering if one of those parents would end up with Ruby, grief tightened my throat. I’d promised Sarah I’d do what I could, never expecting my promise to include training Sarah's replacement.

Knowing how much Ruby meant to me, Mariana promised to keep in touch, heading for her car while I drove up Broadway to return the props to the yoga studio.

I unlocked the studio’s front door and balanced the bag of cushions on my shoulder like Santa, but instead of going down a chimney, I climbed up a flight of stairs to the empty reception area. As I stacked cushions in the studio’s prop storage area, Mallory’s cackle echoed from the back hallway.

I followed the laughter to the lounge, an area with a small kitchenette and a long couch, a cozy recliner and a small coffee table. Mallory sprawled out on the couch beside her best friend Kate, eating Chinese takeout.

Mallory and Kate had been friends since they were 15, opened their businesses at the same time, and even dated some of the same guys — not at the same time. When Kate got engaged, she asked Mallory to be her Maid of Honor.

Mallory might be my best friend, but Kate would always be hers.

I liked Kate, but couldn’t tell if she liked me or only tolerated me as Mallory’s employee. I’d once confessed that to Mallory after several vodka tonics, and she snorted, “That’s part of Kate’s charm. She was born and raised in Queens, she’s not going to kiss your ass. Trust me, if she didn’t like you, you’d know.”

A wave of jealousy flooded me seeing them relaxed on the couch. I backed up, not wanting to interrupt their dinner, but Mallory jumped up from the couch and dragged me over. I protested I was only returning borrowed props, but she insisted they had enough food. Kate shifted to make room and I shot her an apologetic glance and asked, “When did you get home?”

“A few hours ago, but Paul went to visit his mom and we didn’t have any food in our house. I was ready to recap our ‘one year until the wedding’ trip, but I heard when I left, everything went to shit.”

"Why didn't you plan your trip around Dad’s heart attack?” Mal teased around a bite of dumpling.

“So tell me everything I missed, now that Grace is here to fact check,” Kate said. I couldn’t tell if she was teasing Mallory for her typical embellishments or me for being too earnest.

Mallory recounted every detail about the worker bees, and her dad’s speech, and meeting the hot cartographer — cardiologist, I corrected again. “He definitely has a crush on Grace. Have you gotten his number yet?”

I thought about how Dr. Tran's heroics, jumping on stage to start CPR. After surgery, he tracked me down to make sure I was ok. A few days later, he flirted during Bruce’s exam, leaning closer to whisper a request for his own pie because when he likes something, he doesn’t want to share it.

My eyes flicked to Alex, sulking in Bruce’s guest chair. When I pretended to misinterpret the flirtation, the corner of his lip tilted into that tiny grin.

When I shook my head, Mallory asked, “What about that cute overnight nurse who wanted a Grace for Christmas?”

The next morning, I’d visited Bruce’s room at the tail end of the overnight shift. After Carla clocked out, she brought me a much-needed coffee. When I asked why she’d let me stay, she said, “You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want you to go.” Then she’d teased me about my midnight rendezvous, and I recognized a pang of jealousy when I’d offered a ride to the man she coined ‘Captain Arrogance.’

I cleared my throat. “I’d prefer not to date someone from the hospital.”

“Ah, the old ‘don’t shit where you sleep’ defense,” Mallory said. “What about online dating?”

I’d tried it once or twice, but it was so awkward. “Yeah, but when do I disclose that I’m transgender? If I put it in my profile, it brings out the fetishists, but I don’t want to be misleading.”

“Fuck that noise, I’ll write your profile,” Mallory said, making dramatic hand gestures in the sky like a Newsie spelling out a headline. “Nicest human alive. Will feed you homemade pastry. Hot, thin and tall. Can put her leg behind her head.” She added in the skywriting below, at a faster pace, “Great with parents, but won't drag you to suffer through shitty family events.”

“Who wouldn’t swipe right?” Kate laughed as she reached into a takeout container. “Now do mine.”

“But you’re engaged.”

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