Page 43 of Silver & Gold

“—but in Aqarat, when you were asked about Hassan’s death, you immediately said that you murdered him, fully accepting blame without any context. So you want to cling to that one fact but ignore the rest.”

“That’s because I can’t—” Raider broke off. He squeezed his eyes shut.

“Can’t what?”

Tears slipped past his closed eyelids. “I can’t handle the rest, Seth.”

“Oh, fuck.” Seth sounded choked. Then he made a gasping sound, like he was crying too.

Raider drew up his knees. “I can’t think about any of it. I’ve been trying so hard to keep all of it out of my head.”

“Baby …”

“I kept thinking I was fine.” Raider swiped at his cheeks. “Then I wasn’t.”

Seth’s hands started tugging at Raider, asking him to come closer. It was really damn hard for Raider to open his body right then, to let his knees part, to let Seth reach into that tight, solitary space he’d made. But Seth was strong and determined and so goddamn gentle that Raider found himself pulled forward. He found himself tugged into Seth’s lap. His knees settled on either side Seth. Seth’s arms wrapped around him. One hand cupped the back of Raider’s head and pressed his face into the crook of Seth’s neck.

Seth held on tight, absorbing Raider’s shivering until, eventually, it stopped. And the tears stopped. Eventually, Raider felt calm. He felt safe. He felt everything fade away but Seth.

“Thank you,” Raider murmured against him, “for getting me out of there.”

“Oh, baby, I fucking love you.”

Those words made Raider’s throat so tight that he couldn’t speak to return them, so he started kissing Seth’s throat, trying to show him instead. Seth’s head tilted back as he opened to it, letting Raider worship him. Seth probably didn’t know that was what Raider was doing, but it was.

Then he was able to speak. “I love you, Seth. I love you more than anything. I don’t have words for how much I love you.”

“Oh, fuck,” Seth murmured, his throat moving under Raider’s lips and his cock lifting against Raider’s ass.

Raider’s cock stiffened between their bellies and, fuck, it felt good. Raider started to nibble at Seth’s jaw then his ear.

“Baby, are you sure you want this right now?”

“Yes,” Raider breathed. “Be with me.”

Seth’s head tilted down. One of his hands came up to Raider’s face. His thumb swiped away the remnant of his tears. There were tear tracks on Seth’s face too. As Raider kissed them away, Seth closed his eyes and said, “There’s nowhere else I want to be.”

Raider took Seth’s face in his hands and drew their foreheads together, giving himself a moment to take that in. Then he hooked his legs around Seth’s waist and leaned away to grab the oil from the bedside table. Seth groaned as Raider’s body pressed down against his erection. While Raider was stretched out, Seth wrapped a hand around Raider’s jutting cock.

Raider moaned and lay back, the oil bottle loose in his grip, his thoughts dissolving further with every stroke of Seth’s hand.

“You’re so damn beautiful,” Seth murmured. “All of you. But this”—Seth’s thumb rolled across Raider’s cockhead, smoothing the precum across it—“this, I can’t get enough of. The way you respond. The way you come. The way you make me come.”

Part of Raider wanted to stay there and let Seth keep stroking him, but his ass was clenching on nothing. He needed Seth there, inside him.

He sat up on Seth’s lap. Uncorking the bottle, he poured a little oil into his palm then secured the cork again. He set the bottle aside and reached behind himself to take Seth’s cock in an oiled grip.

Seth’s eyes closed as Raider stroked him. Raider marveled at the size of Seth’s cock, the thick root and long shaft, the fat tip that would soon bring him so much pleasure.

Then Raider lifted himself to let that stiff rod rise up. He gazed down, taking in the erotic sight of it jutting up so hard and thick and ready to penetrate him. He sank down, gasping as that wide crown breached his tight ring.

“Easy, baby,” Seth murmured. “Slow.”

Raider squeezed his eyes shut as he lowered himself, all his awareness on the way that huge cock pressed into his tight channel, filling him, taking him over. When Seth was fully inside him, Raider shuddered against him, overwhelmed by the sensations. Seth’s hands ran up and down his back. Seth’s breath puffed against his throat.

“I love this,” Raider whispered. “I need this. I need you.”

“Then ride me.”