He groaned. “This is no kind of life for me, my love, and I think you know it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He’s taking up too much of you,” said Corentin. “There’s a thing about him, yeah, and I’m affected by it, but it’s out of control. He can’t fuck you before bed every night, leave his cock inside you while you sleep and fuck you first thing every morning, because you do not just have a relationship with him. You have three other alphas.”

“He is out of control,” I breathed, thinking about the first time, when I was in heat, when he’d been like some kind of wild beast rutting into me. It had been incredibly hot and incredibly powerful, but I also remembered our conversation about how we both felt out of control around each other.

We’d decided to surrender to it, to whatever it was, our designations, instinct, nature… I didn’t know.

But it wouldn’t work if I tried to surrender to all of them in that way, not if all the alphas wanted competing things.

“You like that he’s out of control?”

“No, but it’s powerful.”

“It’s hot, you mean,” he said.

“What kind of life do you want with me?” I said. “You can’t have one where it’s just me and you.”

“I want to be with you one-on-one sometimes,” he said. “At least that.”

I bit down on my lower lip, because I didn’t know how Dmitri would feel about that. Would he let me have separate relationships, one-on-one relationships, with the other alphas? And how was it that I had gotten myself in so deep with a man who I felt the need to get permission from to do things? What kind of marriage was this going to be? The kind where he really was the lord and master, and I was here to cater to him?

I felt discomfort unfurl in my belly, and I reached down and carefully detached myself from his knot. I found a towel, and gently (so as not to wake him) wiped at him and at me. Corentin got up and helped.

Then, quietly, we left the nest together and went out to the balcony area. It was freezing out here but there were blankets and the long, rectangular firepit was gas, easily turned on with a flick of a button, which Corentin did.

He and I huddled in blankets and stared into the fire together.

“Let’s just go,” he said, tightening his arm around me.

“You know I can’t,” I breathed.

“But part of you wants to, though, at least admit that.”

I was quiet for several long moments. Then I came out with, “Where would we go?”

“Everywhere,” he said, and I could hear the way he was smiling. “You always wanted to travel. You wanted to see everything. I remember the way you used to keep that Pinterest board of places you wanted to see.”

“Oh, yeah,” I said, laughing.

He squeezed me close. “That what you lost, sweet girl? The wanderlust?”

I lay my head on his chest. “Sort of.”

“Why?” He stroked my hair, kissing the crown of my head. “It’s my fault, huh? What did I do to drive that out of you? I liked that about you.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Uh, you said it was before.”

“I just mean, it was everything,” I said. “Before, the world was all open, all opportunity. And then, after, it was closed. All these paths were gone. You were gone. Traveling was gone. Being my own person was gone. I was an omega, and it was all set. I was never going to belong to myself ever again. I was going to belong to… him.” I felt dejected suddenly. Why hadn’t I even attempted to fight this? Why had I just meekly signed myself over to Dmitri?

I did belong to him now.

Hell, he had me saying it to him in bed like it was some sexy game.

But it wasn’t a game.