I’d always thought she was pretty, of course, ever since we were kids. You know how it is when you’re a kid. You’re not really attracted to people in that way. You can’t be. But you have a sense of aesthetics and beauty, even so, and a pretty girl is pretty.

Back then, when my family had made that positively backward marriage arrangement—I can’t even believe that kind of thing is still legal, for instance. We were minors, and we couldn’t consent to something like that. I’m just waiting for someone to take that to a court in Valhn and get it overturned. There’s no way that can be permissible.

But anyway, back then, I was angry because I had this silly idea that I was going to grow up and become a magician.

Yeah, the kind with the card tricks and the rabbit-in-a-hat and all that?

I never even practiced doing any magic, or anything. I certainly could never perform any kind of illusions or sleight of hand. I think I picked it primarily because it made my mother gasp in horror, and I liked that.

It wasn’t really about being a magician.

It was about freedom.

I wanted it.

I didn’t want my entire future decided—the woman I was going to marry all laid out for me, the profession I was going to have laid out too. I was to take over all of the family assets and live out my life as a titled landowner of the peerage in Valhn.

I thought, back then, that I wanted a life of adventure and excitement. I wanted to travel. I wanted to perform. I wanted something else for myself.

And then I presented as an alpha, and I had exactly zero choices.

Even her…

When I presented, and I learned that I was now the heir to the throne of the Valhn Kingdom, I knew it negated my engagement to her, and I was disappointed. Then, when I found out that she presented, I was pleased, and I arranged that dinner.

But then, being around her was impossible.

I wanted to attack her.

After I left her, I was hard for three days solid, and nothing I did eased it. I holed up in my room and rubbed my cock raw jerking off. When that wasn’t helping, I decided to have sex with people, and I called in some professionals to help, but I wore out three women, all betas, and then I finally consented to something with one of the alphas at court.

His name is Dirk, and he’s of the same generation as the king.

He made it stop, I’ll give him that.

But it was my first time with a man, and I…

Anyway, I was pretty sure the same thing was happening now, and I was pretty sure it was because of the omega. She just kicked me into a rut when I was too close to her, that was obvious.

What the hell was I going to do about this?

Before, she’d been gone. I’d been in a rut, jerking off, thinking only of her, remembering the smell of her perfume, thinking of how badly I wanted to have her.

But now, she was under the same roof as me.

Typically speaking, I had a great deal of self-control, but when it came to her, I was out of control.

I wished Nikolai were here.

But he wasn’t.

And anyway, it wasn’t fair for me to take it out on Nikolai. I’d already had rough sex with him once today.

I wanted to wait with the omega, that was the thing. But if I stayed this close to her, I was going to break.

I made a split-second decision to go north to Heirastein Castle. It was located high in the mountains, and there might even still be a little snow there, even though it was springtime. I could go riding there, ride for days, on horseback, ride the rut right out of myself.

I called for servants and started making orders, and they snapped into action.