Page 99 of Of Monsters Of Kings

“Drat,” I said. Now I’d realized my behavior, I felt the urge to do something to help myself. Sending scathing letters and messages to the fifth king wouldn’t earn me back the last snuffing share. My mood wasn’t his responsibility, and he didn’t need to greet me into monsterdom as others had. When had I formed such expectations of immortal kings?

That question was easy enough to answer—my expectations for kings and princes changed after my last slumber.

I banished my ire against Raise while wishing I could banish the turmoil in my heart as easily.

“I must not avoid this,” I whispered.

The leaping of stones stopped. The whining of metal joined it in rest. A quick glance confirmed the return of oxidization to my conservatory. That helped me to feel more in control. I didn’t like to be at odds with the place, especially when I felt at odds with myself and other monsters.

In my mind, I could see the tangle of threads that was the issue with King See. I could see that—as he’d ventured to mention—how I felt about my monster was part of the problem. I could see that my awareness of the future tangled in there too. All the conflicting parts of me were caught up for good measure.

I didn’t know much about concubines, princesses, immortal happiness, and heartache, but I did know what to do with a normal tangle. I didn’t need to see the beginning or end of the knot. I just had to start with the smallest knot and hope bigger knots would be loosened as a result.

The smallest knot, which felt daunting in that it wasn’t small whatsoever, was the issue of how I felt about my new form. This alone had the power to affect my fate—I felt that in my mother’s bones.

“How to go about it?” I muttered to myself. “What have you learned?”

I’d learned that monsters were interesting and unique and that I considered myself a monster. I preferred life now to my human life before. This was the real me, and impossible and magical things happened to me every night. Princes and kings were struck by my magnificence and my delightful voice. They wondered over the sheer enjoyment of my conversation, and the sight of me had aroused two immortal kings. I’d been called exquisite so many times that the compliment no longer stunned me. I’d feel more curious than hurt if a person didn’t find my monster exquisite now.

That was a large revelation.

I’d started to believe myself exquisite through the sheer volume of compliments and flattery aimed my way. Many thought me wondrous, and how could so many be wrong? Surely not so many. They’d ventured the same compliments independent of each other time and again.

Added to that, I could feel the rightness of this world where I’d never felt the rightness of a conventional, human life.

I must shrug free of those conventional standards of beauty and worth.

How did a new monster go about that? My human life had been lived for the sorry day Mother started to wither, and then I lived to help her until the end. I wouldn’t change a thing about that. I also couldn’t recall considering my wants or feelings very much ever. There was no foundation on which to build my self-confidence and esteem.

Building them felt like an enormous task, and one I’d prefer not to be bothered with—a vice most certainly, and one I shouldn’t entertain. If only I hadn’t started out a human and slumbered so little.

“To have the misfortune of short slumber. To have the misfortune to merely transform into a monster instead of being born one,” I said to my hotel.

“I was not born one, lady.”

Her voice was thick and warm, a velvet dress lined with fur.

I approached the balustrade to peer down into the courtyard. A female monster.

“Good evening. I haven’t met you.”

This wasn’t Take’s princess, of that I was sure. This princess was covered in a voluminous veil that covered her true form, but a trail of slime extended behind her, showing her path.

“No, not formally. I listened to your conversation and deal with my king. I watched you leave his kitchen.”

“You are King Bring’s princess bride. Have you come to shout at me or beg me away then?”

“Nothing of the kind, Lady Patch. King Bring bid me here to convince you how little we are to each other.”

I stared at her veiled head. “He would do that to you?”

“You misunderstand. The order brings me no pain to obey. I might like more company in the house, you see.”

I could see how a fantasy life in the sky could get lonely. Fantasy was a colder companion than reality, even if perfect. “I am convinced you mean little to one another.”

“That is well. He will be happy, and the house will have its warmth and welcome again. It’s been dark and shaky lately since you became known to my king.”

“He is convinced I must be his.”

---