Page 87 of Of Monsters Of Kings

Huckery tilted his head. “What’s unusual about being a monster, lady?”

“Well, nothing now, but there was a lot of new felt at the first sight of my stitches and patches. There was the matter of me being made up of body parts from fifty female ancestors, but that seems quite a logical, usual thing these days. How curious the change.” I took a deep breath. “Maybe one day I’ll find the courage to look at what I’ve become.”

My intention wasn’t to utter anything of my inner struggles to Huckery, but the words were out for better or worse.

The prince’s face slackened. “What do you mean? You haven’t looked at your true form?”

I didn’t wince at the implication that my conventional, day form wasn’t the real me. Another triumph. “I have found myself afraid of how I’ll feel at the sight. I become more convinced with each slumber that I must look at myself soon, and that I should prepare as best I can so that I might love what I see. If I don’t, then I might become terrible. Does that make sense, Prince Huckery? I’m not sure it makes sense to me, even though the thought is mine.”

“I see the sense in your thought, lady,” he answered. “I change into a mindless, soulless beast at dusk, so I understand holding fear of yourself and also to fear hating yourself all at once.”

Tears sparked in my eyes at his pain. “You are neither of those things. Why do you think this way of yourself?”

“King Change knows it to be so, and he is wise in all things.”

An attempt to come between liege and prince wouldn’t work in my favor. “You understand my fear, Prince Huckery. I can’t be sure that I won’t hate what I see, and what will my fate become if that happens? I didn’t think of such things a week ago, but I’m more ancient recently.”

“Yes, this is an ancient train of thought. I fathom if you hated yourself, then you’d understand my liege’s need to ruin, lady.”

That’s what I’d feared.

From where I now stood, not having looked in the mirror, Change’s depravity was plain and at odds with me. But hate of myself could chip at my character until I agreed with his actions and thoughts. “What if chance fates that I love myself instead?”

Huckery pulled a face. “Then you might understand Bring’s need to save the world, or at least you might not feel a need to intervene in fate. But though I’m unconvinced of your monsterdom, Lady Patch, of your magnificence there’s no doubt. I can’t fathom what you wouldn’t love about yourself. However, I have lived in hatred of myself for eleven hundred years, since Change set his mind to ruin, when others couldn’t fathom why I felt so. How others perceive us is often not how we perceive ourselves, so I wish you happiness with your mirror venture.”

Tears slipped down my mismatched cheeks, and I let them fall to the cobblestones. He’d phrased my pain so eloquently. “Wisdom is not reserved to your liege. You are incredibly wise too.”

And loyal—he’d proved the most loyal to his king out of all the princes. What a glorious quality to hold.

“Perhaps you could assuage my curiosity, Prince Huckery. What do you mean by saying I’m not monster enough?”

“You don’t do enough monstrous things, lady. You are beauty itself. One looks at you and sees whimsical mysteries in each untouchable stitch. But what do you do for thrill? What makes you smile inside?”

I considered that. My mother’s conversation had made me smile inside, but she was gone. I hadn’t considered what made me happy in a long time. “Only minutes ago, a fright made me feel glee. That’s not conventional, I think?”

“Fright should bring you much glee, but to me, it seems you’ve become content to receive frights and never give them. To take all glee and never give it back isn’t a generous nor trustworthy quality.”

Goodness, he was right. Not only had I failed to actively seek glee for myself, but I also hadn’t actively sought glee for others. “I hadn’t given this nearly enough thought, but you’re right. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. How shall I go about it, Prince Huckery? Shall I give you a fright and some glee?”

He rolled his beastly eyes. “I could hardly be frightened while expecting it. Not unless you were very good.”

“How shall I start then?”

He whined a little. “Sharing a fright can be enjoyable.”

The prince had extended an olive branch. “You mean we frighten someone together?”

He lifted a shoulder. “I guess. Or I could watch. Then I’d know for sure the true monster was you and not me. I’m very good at giving frights already, and this could confound the results.”

My mind buzzed in silence when I considered how to go about giving a fright. Maybe Huckery was right about my lack of monsterdom. “I’m unsure what to do.”

“The exchange of frights is more of a playful thing between monsters, but if you’re spooking someone for the purpose of self-care or to entertain monstrous company, then humans are a good place to start. Quite simply, you pick someone in need of a spook.”

I hummed, then smirked. “I can think of someone in need of a spook. She wouldn’t enjoy it though.”

Huckery’s smirk matched my own. “Even better. Humans rarely do. Strange, pitiful creatures that they are.”

I shivered at the wickedness of my idea and felt a bloom of delight inside—an inner smile. The prince was correct to bring this up. I could feel the difference in me already. I’d looked like a monster but hadn’t behaved much like one. “Will you come to witness the scare then?”

---