Page 124 of Last Gift: Supernatural Battle

Did I need to say the words? Apparently so. “I’m joking.” Man, maybe the red smoke from the demon king ulcerated this guy’s sense of humor. “How can I help?”

The grimoire laid the piece of parchment on the stone table. “I’ve filled out my transfer application, but I want to talk to you first.”

“About me being half demon or your future?”

He flinched. “My future. And the other part, too, maybe.”

This was the first time he’d dared approach me for open conversation. I wanted to be sarcastic and dismissive, but that was because Spyne had managed to hurt my feelings. He was also with Huxley. Did I want to recover easiness with this grimoire? Yes. Could I understand that he’d discovered something that put him in a tricky moral position?

Yes.

I’d store my sarcasm and dismissiveness for the person who really deserved them—Frond. “Then speak. What’s your decision regarding your transfer?”

Spyne took a breath. “I’d already spoken to you about the call I experienced to leave the coven for a time. When I discovered the extent of Huxley’s lies, that seemed like a clear sign to pursue the call.”

My lies, not Huxley’s, I silently corrected him. I didn’t interrupt, though. People liked to be listened to—including me.

“Transferring to another coven doesn’t feel right,” he continued. “It’s not magus I wish to study further—it’s other supernaturals. I wanted to speak with you about the possibility of a transfer to a Vissimo clan.”

My brows rose. “Sundulus?”

“Yes.”

“What would you do there?”

“I’d hope to have access or earn access to their archives in time. Barring that, I’d be happy to observe them in their environment and perhaps strengthen the bonds between our races.”

“Like an ambassador,” I supplied.

“I suppose so.”

“Yet you’ve acknowledged that you’re leaving the coven because of what I’ve kept from you. An ambassador is a representative of where they come from. Your feelings about the coven, its leader, and some of its members would be obvious to some of the Vissimo. If you seek to strengthen the bonds between our races, then your presence there while holding these feelings could ensure the reverse.”

Spyne could tell King Julius what I was. He could even reveal the truth without intending to. King Julius was clever and powerful. If he caught wind of something amiss, then I had no doubt that Spyne would find himself speaking words he’d never meant to.

“You wish to keep me here because you fear what I could say.” Spyne had seen to the truth of the matter.

I studied the magus, trying to decide how open to be. “Do you understand why I fear it?”

“Because you’re part demon.”

“That’s the instrument that would lead to what I fear, but not what I fear.” The words rang in me in a bizarre type of epiphany. I didn’t fear what I was. I feared what came of it. I accepted my demon, just not what may happen as a result.

The thoughts were those I’d had before, but I hadn’t heard them with clarity. I accepted who I was. I didn’t accept that there had to be war and pain and suffering due to that. “I fear the limits of others’ acceptance. I fear that they will choose the easy path of denial and mob mentality over the harder road of challenging the so-called truths they may have known. I have seen the world, Spyne, and I have seen that not many possess that ability. My concerns are real and based in experiences of how people react to fear and change and new concepts and challenge to what they’ve known.”

A hardness entered his dark eyes. “You fear that all that leads to danger for you.”

“If things became that dangerous from the coven, then I am confident in my ability to get free. No, I don’t fear danger directly. I fear not being in a position to do what’s needed for the survival and well-being of this coven. I feel the pressure of time and the threat of failure. I can hear their screams in my ears.”

“If they’re screaming because they were not able to accept what you are, then some may say that would be the consequence of their actions.”

I hadn’t expected such coldness from the grimoire. “We aren’t talking of a consequence where someone stubs their toe or loses a trinket. The consequence here is death and slavery. I couldn’t stand by and let that happen, no matter what mistakes the coven had made. We’re creatures of the Mother, Spyne, and while I’ll never understand that a person can choose to bury their head in the sand as though the outside world isn’t real and happening, I can choose to accept that they’re there, and that they are. That perhaps there are reasons I can fathom as to why such a mentality needs to exist.”

“And so you fight for people who don’t deserve to be fought for,” Spyne said with a curious edge to his voice.

“I fight for this coven, even those who may turn on me, because I know what I can live with. I could allow myself to be disappointed by others’ choices over and over again. Far better to decide what I will do. Better to rejoice in those who have the strength to ask questions and open their eyes to something new or hard. Better to live and die in a way that befits who I am and what I believe in.”

Spyne sat watching me in the wake of my words.

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