Page 55 of Bride of Choice

“You fugged-lee! Jo smells!” Oogi, as I’ve decided to forever call him, shot up in his seat, to jerk his finger at my person and shout at me.

“Douglas LuGreHckMo!” Dorothy bellowed above the din as chaos, utter chaos, broke out.

LuGreHckMo? It took me a moment to puzzle that one out as she read her manchild of a son the riot act.

English and Lo denaii mixed as Dorothy demanded to know what on Earth was going on on our end of the table and everyone, save me, jumped in to tell their side of it.

Feeling like an asshole for ruining what was looking like a promising family dinner, I mumbled something about excusing myself and made to stand. I got two hobbling steps before several sets of thick mitts shot out, each offering a gal a literal hand up.

“I’m slow but I’ve got it,” I stubbornly insisted, eschewing any and all help.

The room fell silent, giving me that bug under the microscope feeling as they all watched and waited, fidgeting to help but not wanting to butt in when I didn’t want it as I waddled across the room. Waving their concern away, I forced a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “Pretend I’m not even here.” For the love of god, please do! “Who knew a trip to the ladies’ room could be so noteworthy,” I snarked. The few pity chuckles I got in response had me snorting softly at that nonsense.

I didn’t want or need a savior. Heaven knew if ever that was gonna happen, it would be me saving my own ass.

One near slip as I shuffled my way closer to my destination had a bone chilling growl from somewhere off behind me issuing. It was so loud in the silence choking their dinner meetup I jumped, put too much weight on my foot, and started to go titties up.

Ridiculously warm, furry hands caught me, then scooped me up into thickly muscled arms. They weren’t bodybuilder thickly built like some of the other Lo denaii, like Mina’s Veck, but more so well-built, solid but not overdone, and too damn fast for their own good.

“I so could have made it all by myself,” I harrumphed, scowling at my rescuer to realize Kooky had come to my rescue. Aww. My Kooky rescuer. Har-har.

Kooky grunted in answer, fur lined lips twitching as he toted my ass into the guest bedroom.

“Smirk, I dare ya, and I’ll smack you into applesauce, Kookypants,” I warned him, getting a snorted laugh in return and even twitchier lips.

My eyes widened and I started to protest when he bent to open the bathroom door, looking like he meant to follow me inside. “My god, I can get it from here, Nurse Ratchet!” I barked at him as I began to squirm in his arms.

He paused, staring down at me for the longest moment. I’d swear he was looking for something, or waiting for me to, I dunno, say or do something.

“If you think this is the part of the story where the heroine falls madly in love with the hero for taking her to go potty in her hour of need, honey, lemme tell ya right now, I ain’t the heroine of any piece, not even my own, I’m sorry to inform ya, I have no desire to have a man clinging to me like y’all do, demanding babies and breakfast and clean undies and whatnot, it just ain’t gonna happen. And any thing that does occur, should it all go down some fantastical, magical bullshit happily ever after kinda way? Won’t be on anyone’s schedule but mine, and one pee break hand up is not that moment.”

His head cocked to the side as he eyed me. Was I as alien to him as he was to me?

“Too much slang?” I guessed with a shrug as he started to slowly set me on my feet. When he straightened and would have turned to leave without another word, the guilt started to pour in. I was being a dick, a total douche in my canoe, and he’s been nothing but nice to me.

“Look, it’s not you, it’s me. Okay? I’ve got issues and there are not enough tissues. I mean, did you see the way Gogo boots skedaddled away from me, hmm? Like the mudder fricker’s ass was on fire. That’s all me, bub. You don’t wanna saddle yourself up with some o’ this.”

Pausing at the door, gripping the jamb, he cocked his head in a weird, hawk-like manner.

“None of you are going to, like, string him up by his toes, Lo denaii wedgie him, or give him a hard time or anything like that, right?” I asked, fidgeting where I stood, holding onto the wall for balance. Scowling at the back of his head when he let out a non-committal grunt, I let out a Lo denaii sounding grumble. “Anybody messes with him, they’re messing with me. It’s not his fault. And he’s mine.”

This had the male turning to face me, an unreadable look on his harsh features. There was something inherently wild looking to him, like he bathed in the river, slept under the stars, and hand fished in the stream. Wait!! Damn, that’s where I knew him from! Hand fishing in the stream guy! THE Nosy Newt. I knew he looked familiar!

When he just stared down at me, examining my face in a weirdly detached way that was just shy of giving me the creeps, I felt the need to defend my timid lover. “He gets all…” My hand lifted to wave around my face, even as I questioned, why him, why this male? Why did Kookypants make me want to blurt my guts out to him, spill all my stupid secrets? “You know, like, uh, lost in the moment.” Yeah, because that didn’t sound like a fucking stupid, shite excuse. They’re beast men, dummy. “His eyes get all blacked out and stuff and he like, you know, his merawr gets all RAWR. I mean, I’m cool with it, don’t yuck my yum, but I think it freaks him out.” My god, why am I divulging all of this to him? What if instead of understanding Gopher, he ridicules him or labels him bad or some shit?

Being called bad does a number on Rek. Lord only knows why the asshole thinks it’s okay to pass that shit onto me.

Thick, fluffy caterpillars for eyebrows shot up, then came jerking back down, to kiss into a megabrow of a frown. “Lhorstavorskrhut,” he rumbled out thoughtfully, his voice soft and low.

He sounded so much like Mystery Mate then, though maybe not as purr-rumbly-sexy and deeply growled out yet soft, I stared up at him for a long moment unblinkingly.

Could it be?

Pfft. No. No way. Why not just announce himself? I mean, I’ve already got his bite and insanely fluffy mating pelt. Why go to all the subterfuge? If I’m yours, make me fucking yours! What part of that do these fuzz faces not understand?!

“Whats lorry-starves-savors-yogurt or whatever?” My hand lifted in a halfhearted wave. “Is that like a place or a thing?” I wondered aloud.

“Pee,” he grunted out.

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