Page 304 of Bride of Choice

Amee-lee’s face pinkened at his comments but she slowly nodded and allowed him to escort her to Gopher’s.

“Well, that was mighty entertaining,” I muttered, glancing from Gopher to Doogie and Amee-lee’s retreating backs.

Gopher tore his worried gaze away from Doogie and Amee-lee, groaned, and pressed his forehead to mine.

“Lessen the grip on the booty, eh?” I gave my butt a wiggle. “It feels like you’re trying to juice them, not grope them.”

Gopher immediately loosened his hold but seemed loath to release them entirely. Eh— they could breathe now, that was all that mattered. Heh.

“You should probably go check on them. She might be trying to maul Doogie near your place and I’m not entirely certain it’s in a her jabbing him with pokie things kinda way.”

Gopher’s head jerked back and he stared at me as if he wasn’t sure she’d go that far.

“The rest of them are boy crazy. Maybe she’s not so much boy crazy but hasn’t found the right dude to get crazy about? Like, say… a tall, strapping human-Lo denaii hybrid that not only didn’t flinch when she pulled a knife on him but politely disarmed her, told her her eyeballs are pretty, then offered to escort her home.”

Gopher made a distressed sound.

“I understand now. We’ll get back to this later.” I pecked a kiss to his nose. “Go. Go on. Go make sure Dorothy’s dingus doesn’t join with your fangtastic twin,” I teased.

“Gopher older,” he muttered as he kissed me once, twice, the second time longer and lingering, before breaking away from me with utmost reluctance to go chase after his crazy sibling.

Walking back to my place, I felt a little lighter, like a weight’s been lifted. The small smile tipping my lips fell as I thought about how far I’d had to fall before I finally woke up and started the arduous journey of digging myself back out.

Fuck, it was still a long way to the top… But I could do this.

I wanted to do this.

Hauling ass back to my place because, yeah, it’s titties might freeze off fucking cold out here, I lamented not timing myself on that sprint back. I coulda set a record.

Going all out, back to the old Joanster, I opted for a quick nail polish, sans my glorious claws in favor of hurrying my ass up, did my hair, my face, though putting it on now didn’t have that razzle dazzle feeling for me that it had once before.

Nope. My razzle dazzle feeling was patching things up with Gopher, being taken into his arms again and kissed like there was no tomorrow, that reconnection after trying to cut the ties for so long, fighting it.

No more fighting any of this. It took me forever to realize I was only punishing myself.

I wanted karmic revenge, and what better way than to show Rek how well I could live my life without him!

Fierce satisfaction filled me at the idea.

Even more so at the idea of making up with Odix, Tor/Hyde/Jeh-kal, Celuk, and figuring this all out. If that was even fucking possible at this point.

I’d tried so hard to cut them out of my life, once I had my wish I was left with even more misery and this gaping hole in my heart.

I was sick of myself, sick of wallowing in misery.

It took shutting out Rosa and getting my wish to be parted from my guys completely, to live in that hell, before I finally woke up.

Along with this feeling of rightness in getting my life back, getting my shit on track, there was the very real fear of rejection.

Gopher could have turned me down. He could have said it’s all too much, I’m too much.

The others very well might not want to be with me anymore. I might be too late.

I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to try anyway.

What’s a few more soul crushing moments to add to my life? At least I could say I tried.

It was equally as nerve wracking dragging my ass up to Rosa’s, basket full of apology goodies in hand. She was the catalyst, what really opened my eyes. I had her to thank for that jolt that woke me up. I’d been leaning on her far too much, enablingly so, in all of my chaos. Losing her was like losing my damn arms.

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