Page 231 of Bride of Choice

“Yeah? Maybe you should go play with one to compare,” I shot back.

Gopher laughed, then steered me left from a large crowd starting to form at some crazy knife maker guy’s stall.

“Why Gopher play with teb when I have Jo?”

Oooo. He was trying to rile me on purpose. But why?

Stilling, I glanced around, looking for signs of any would-be accomplices he might be in partnership with. A certain fishy faced dude started barking at me in my head, warning sirens blaring, that this was a trap.

I saw it then, but it wasn’t what I’d call a… Hell, I had no idea what to call, erm, that.

“What the hell is that?” I muttered, catching it out of the corner of my eye.

“What what?” Gopher replied, his expression perfectly neutral.

Glancing over my shoulder, I had to do a double take as I spied Odix in all of his suddenly gotta be extra glory, watching, waiting, half bent over, eyeing me from over his shoulder like he was just countin' down until I caught a peep of him, to shove his rump out, aimed at me.

"Look, I know that at one point not quite that long ago the idiot bought that I was "Poop girl" but, uh... what the hello peaches pointin' at me is- is that?!" I blurted out in a rush to my companion.

Looking like he was smothering a laugh, totally at my damn expense, after much throat clearing and lip-twitchery, Goph finally offered, "No know, but..."

"But what?!" I all but exclaimed when the furry fool paused, as if for effect.

Laughter thick in his voice, he choked out, "Hear'd Jo say she likes the butts big and-"

Good god. Kill me now. "That is so not funny.” I’m never gonna live this shit down, am I? Nope. Probably never. “I'm never drinking Lo denaii shine ever again. Never..."

"The butts... The butts... The butts..." I thought it sounded like ol’ Odi pants was happily singing along to his buns jiggling. I mean, he had the finest ass but NO.

"And would you stop doing that?!!" I snapped at the ridiculous furball, who was practically backing that dump truck right up towards me as he wiggled and waved his money maker.

“There are not enough mock-late chip cookies in this world,” I muttered, shaking my head and holding my hand up to block Gopher from trying to nab my sleeve and jerk me back to him yet again. “Your crazy ass is so hot and cold it’s giving me whiplash.”

“Jo no want finish Odix show?!” Gopher called after me.

Lifting my hand, I flipped him off, but my shoulders shook with silent laughter matching the stupid look on my face all the way back to my hut.

Alright, so Gopher thought to just jump right back in, like he wasn’t sporting some nasty reminders from his big fuck up? Okay. Alright. Joanie can play that game.

After a quick change, I was gearing up to rush off again, rushed out, and right into Red.

“Oh! There you are! I was hoping I could catch you! You’re always coming and going, busy bee and all that. Heh-heh.” Red wasn’t the type for idle chatter unless she was hanging with Daisy. Cottontail brought out that side of her.

“Did you need something?” I asked as I turned and closed my door. Grabbing my watering can, I motioned for her to follow me as I watered Gopher’s garden. It sure as shit wasn’t my garden. I’d have let the thing wilt and die a long time ago. It would have too if I hadn’t picked up garden tending duties when Gopher had suddenly abandoned them. I’d never admit it out loud but I was doing it for him. Which was both crazy and ridiculous because Gopher had claimed to be tending the garden for me.

Staring down at my watering can, I muttered, “Oh, who fucking cares?!” and turned the watering can upside down to dump it all over the flowers and plants and I had no clue what all was in there, I barely paid it any mind really, and called it good enough.

Red blinked, her gaze darting from the can to me.

“You said you needed something, bitch whose name I can’t remember?” I prompted teasingly.

A sharp bark of laughter left Red and she smiled, but she was still looking a little… not nervous but uncomfortable, I’d say.

“Right, so, uhm… I, uhm, heard…”

“Well, this should be good,” I muttered, motioning for her to continue as I dumped my watering can off by my door.

“So, a little birdy told me,” she restarted.

---