Page 210 of Bride of Choice

The hands on my ass tightened warningly. Clenching my ass cheeks, face pinkening, I sputtered, “It’s none of your beeswax, bub!”

Nodding, Doogie shrugged. “Fine.”

“It is fine,” I shot back.

“Fine,” he muttered, making no move to continue to help me.

“Fine! I don’t need you! I’ll just… wiggle back in the way I came out.”

“That what she says,” Doogie grunted out with a sniff.

“Oh, shut up, you already used that one!” I growled, gripping the side of the window sill with my backwards jacket smacking me in the face and gruntingly tried to wriggle my way back inside. “I’d rather deal with the pain in the ass in there right now than the judgy bastard prissily preening out here!”

“Doogie not prissy peening.” With a glower, he grunted out, “What that mean?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know!”

Voices up ahead stopped me dead in my worm wriggling tracks.

Fuck me if that wasn’t Mal and Rosa. “Shit! Doogie!”

Doogie stared down the length of his nose at me. “Did Jo need somethings?”

“Yes, you wart on my butt! Help!” I quietly hissed.

“What Jo want Doogie do?” he grumbled churlishly.

“So help me,” I muttered, “if this is how the cat gets outta the bag, I will not only never forgive you for abandoning me in my hour of need, I will die of embarrassment from all of this and haunt you!”

Studying my precarious predicament, he wiggled my arms out of my coat and threw it over my face, draping my hoodie over my head. “Wait here,” he muttered, leaving me like that to take off.

“How is this helping?” I hissed, jerking the hood off my head.

Rosa and Mal were just up ahead, Boog snuggled close to his Pumpkin as they walked, Tokre rubbing Rosa’s shoulder, practically glued to her side like he couldn't get close enough.

I knew the moment this shit was over.

Doogie hurried up to the group, motioning for them to look at something with him.

Rosa glanced over, through Doogie’s wildly waving arms. Our eyes met and held. The stark panic in my eyes spurred her into action.

“Yes! I’d love to see your new place!” Rosa gushed, grabbing Mal by the arm to lead her away.

Booger glanced over behind Doogie just as Mal was whipped around.

My face reddened and my hands lifted in a god help me but here I am shrug.

Boog’s eyes widened comically. I waved him off, frantically motioning for him to shoo them elsewhere.

The second they were out of sight, I braced my knees, feet, scrambling along the wall, and tried to push myself back inside the window.

“Argh! How do I get myself into these messes?!!” I mumbled dejectedly. Because I’m fucking Joanie, that’s how.

“Jo?”

Like this couldn’t get any fucking worse, one of the males from my bridegroom support group, Huguar stumbled across me.

“Yo. Hey, Hu. You wouldn’t happen to have a shit load of lard or something lying around, would you?” Trying for casual, putting my coat on correctly, I zipped it up and cupped my chin in my hand, my other arm folded across my chest.

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