Page 57 of Bride of Choice

“Love doesn’t always come easy,” she replied softly, like throwing out fun phrases like that, little pearls of wisdom, was just the thing I needed.

It wasn’t.

“Nothing worth keeping is easy.” Her smile was sympathetic, with a pinch of that I know something you don’t know twinkle going on.

Peeking up at her, I sighed. “Important questions now,” I muttered, dropping my hands to sit up straighter. “I’m assuming Oogi-Doogie is one of your progeny, loosely as I use that phrase,” I started, to a nod from her, and a confirmed, “I’d apologize on Dougie’s behalf but he’s a big boy now and needs to be learnin’ to apologize for himself. I taught him better.”

“Doogie dug his own grave,” I agreed, to a laugh and a shake of her head at me. “Came at me gums flappin’, shootin’ blanks.”

Flapping the towel in her hand at me as she laughed at my joking dramatics, she added, “All the same, I maintain he could use to relearn himself some manners.” Scowling now, looking like she was about to slip into a long diatribe about naughty children, a snort escaped me.

When she looked to me, askance, I smirked. “Really, Doro? Dougie? It’s like you were begging them to butcher his name into Doogie-woogi or whatever they call him. You Oogie-ed him into this.” Laying it on thick, hearing a low growl building from elsewhere in Dorothy’s abode, I tsked. “Poor Doogie-woogi. No wonder he’s such a sad panda.”

Dorothy’s eyebrows shot up. She tried to look stern, pursing her lips, but that telltale twitch and just how tightly she had to hold them pinched tight, this shit was in the bag. “It’s a family name,” she stated simply, and left it at that.

“I’m assuming he still lives at home?” I ventured casually.

The sudden thudding of heavy footfalls headed our way had me grinning winningly.

“You’re horrible,” Dorothy whispered. “Just horrible. You know that?”

Coming up behind his mother, towering over her from behind, the male himself shot a finger at me, baring his teeth, to snarl out indignantly, “Doogie has hut! Doogie hunts! Doogie- Doogie good male! Doogie has man-nerds!”

“Go man-nerds.” Lifting my arm, I gave a fist pump.

Sighing heavily, Dorothy turned, motioning for her supersized manchild to get out of her way. “It’s like having the daughter we just kept tryin’ for, taunting her brothers into getting their shit straight, and she’s just like ‘em!”

“Hah! Hear that, Douglas, I’m like family? The sister you never got, born of a different mister.” Beaming up at the male, who had gone from annoyed, angry, to flummoxed and flustered in a second, I had to admit I was quite enjoying this little game. I’m horrible like that. I’d always wanted a little brother.

Spluttering noises left poor Doogie-oogi, my freshly adopted kin.

“Should I start calling you Bubby Dougie now? Or too soon?” I asked idly, tapping my finger to my lip in thought.

“Bubby?” You’d think I’d just lobbed an insult at the male, or an actual object of some sort. “Doogie no’ bubby. Bad Jo-”

A short, sharply growled noise from somewhere in the house had the male clamming up, though he looked like he’d very much like to start spewing whatever he meant to say at me.

“I’m sorry, bubby. You’re going to have to say that louder. Sissy Jo can’t quite hear you from all the way over there.” Tapping my ear, my lips drew down. “Human ears and hearing and all that.” God, it felt so good to cut my teeth on the easily riled male. Maybe that was my problem. Yetiville was way too tempting— all these easy targets.

A soft, low growl, like I was dealing with an angry dog, left the male. When a much louder one rent the air, to match, Dorothy called out, “It’s good practice for you, son, like we’ve talked about! Don’t let her get to you! ”

Was she actually giving me permission to rile her manchild so he could work on his peopling skills?

“For when you bring me a sister-in-law,” I told him, grinning winningly.

“Not Doogie sibling! Not Doogie sissy- Not Doogie anyfing!” Doogie burst out in exasperation. He was dealing with a bat shit crazy lady that needed to blow off steam. Did he not clue into that yet? Just walk away, Dougie! It’s not like I could just rush off elsewhere.

“Well… technically,” I started, waving a hand about airily, “your bubby is married to my cousin, right, so that makes me… the cousin-in-law, sister by way of being the daughter of your mother’s heart,” I informed him.

Dougie was scowling so hard, face a stony looking, inward pinched puss of a grimace, frozen for so long I wondered as he stayed like that and held it if I’d actually gone and done it— broken the sad lil fella.

“Mama!” Dougie finally managed to garble out, springing back to life. He sounded like a little kid whose big sister had just taken his toy. Glancing my way long enough I got a gander of the worried look on his fluffy mug, his concern that I might actually somehow truly be related to him a horrifying enough thought he had to investigate my suggested nightmare fuel, I grinned and threw him a little wave as he continued to call out for his mama and stormed down the hall.

Flopping back atop the pelt laid out across the bed, I laid there for a long moment, wondering how this madness had all come to be my life.

I was picking on a big old man-baby Yeti for funsies. My mate, or I think he was my mate, was so freaked out by the thought of getting freaky deaky on me he tucked tail and ran at the first peek of that sexy, bossy side of himself. Rek was basically fleecing my place every chance he got, one item at a time, to “punish” me, and would gladly turn me into his mindless breeder if I let him, unwilling to settle for anything else. Bum-bum has lost his mind, hopefully momentarily. I still had no clue who my Mystery Mate was, who was sadly ahead of the race, even if I counted Gopher’s and Rek’s efforts combined. And I haven’t heard hide nor hair of Fuck N Run since he fucked and ran.

Closing my eyes, lifting my arms to settle my hands behind my head, I focused on breathing.

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