Page 119 of Bride of Choice

Sniffling, I stared up at Odix, trying to button my pants back up, nearly hysterical. “They won’t work!” I cried out.

Kneeling down in front of me, taking the ends in his huge hands, he carefully figured out the Velcro pieces and closed them.

“I can’t do anything right,” I softly wailed, though I was struggling to figure out how I’d gone from happy to hangdog sad in one little pee trip.

Gopher and Rek knocked their shit off long enough to spy Odix’s wide back as he scooped me up, muttering about dummies, and carted me back to camp.

Doogie and Berkr and some males I had no idea as to their names, cringed as they spied the tear tracks, pink cheeks, and tell-tale sniffles.

“Hurds?” Bum-bum asked, stilling from where he’d been burying something beside him, standing to kick dirt over the spot as he approached.

His horns, I deduced, seeing as he’d shifted, bit me and spit on my wound, whatever craziness his other form offered, before snapping his horns off to shift back. I’d blacked out very shortly after but I’d seen enough.

Why was he burying them?

My gaze went from his horns to him. “Trap. Krampus smell. Stay ‘way or follow,” Bum answered.

“Trap or keep away,” Berkr offered.

“Would you get grumpy if I said you were pretty?” I thought it, I said it. I wasn’t feeling the whole spectrum of my loose tongue or crazy mood changes now but I’d be overwhelmed with embarrassment later as I recalled it all.

Bum-bum blinked down at me stupidly for a solid minute before Odix said something to him that had him snapping out of it.

My gaze darted from Odix to Bum-bum curiously.

“What, Jo no think Berkr handsome? Doogie?” Berkr mock purred. The shit starting grin flashing fangs was a dead giveaway.

“Ew, Pepé.” My face scrunched up in disgust. “Don’t be gross,” I muttered, shuddering as I burrowed deeper into Odix.

Bum-bum snorted at that. Kirch cracked up, slapping Berkr and then Rek on the back as he passed them.

“Doogie no want be cute or handsome to Jo.” Doogie shuddered along with me.

“My running theory is that Douglas already has a lady love, possibly unrequited, he’s either too chicken to tell her or he knows he doesn’t stand a chance. And yet he still holds out,” I told Odix in what I thought was a whisper.

From the stunned looks on everyone gathered’s faces, I’d say not only was I way too fucking loud, but now they were all speculating on my theory.

“What more Jo thinks?” Berkr wondered aloud.

“About who?” I peered over Odix’s thick arm to ask.

Berkr opened his mouth to speak but Bum-bum and several others snarled for him to shut it, and Odix boomed out, “What more butts songs?”

He wanted more butt songs?

With a mental shrug, I launched into Fat Bottomed Girls, because everyone knows they make the world go ‘round, and then All About That Bass, Bootylicious, Honky Tonk Badonkadonk, and finished strong with Thong Song, because why the hell not?

I was fully feeling the effects of Prokar’s Lo denaii shine, shaking my shit in Odix’s arms as he toted my useless carcass into the village.

“Give,” Rek grunted out, but I was still salty at him for getting mad at me for admitting he was cute. He was fucking cute!

“Odd-lick’s taking me home,” I informed him primly, wrapping my arms around Odix proprietarily. “He promised,” I mumbled into his fur as I turned my head for confirmation to find my face stuck in his neck. This proved hard for me to get out of. My movements were loose, slow, sloppy, and my brain didn’t want to work in accord with the rest of me.

“Odix,” Odix corrected.

“That’s what I said,” I mumbled into the heat emanating from his neck. “It’s like a furnace in here!” I breathed.

My running commentary amused Gopher, who was unbothered by my choice of sober drunk buddy.

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