Page 5 of Mary had a Little Harem

Chapter 3: Bite My Pretzel

The cold wind slashed Mary in the face as she exited her building. She groaned, throwing her red scarf around her neck. She couldn't believe she was actually going on the date. But then again, she couldn't exactly stand Louis up and crush Mrs. Smithfield. She was so excited to set up her favourite neighbour with her grandson.

Mary stomped her feet into the snow, glad she chose to store all her heels in her closet. The icy streets and high stilettos were not a good combination, no matter how long and sexy they made her legs look.

She angrily swatted at a snowflake in front of her face. Just to mess with Louis, she considered wearing her lacy dress. The one that clung to her every curve and turned every guy she met into a puddle. But with the snow and her massive jacket, she decided it was a wasted effort. Part of her still thought Louis was gay, another part of her felt like he didn't deserve seeing her in all her beauty. And now she was walking through the cold air to some random Christmas market that Louis picked out. She was almost a hundred percent certain he chose it just to piss her off.

"Fucking snot weather!" she growled, kicking a heap of refrozen snow sludge at the side of the road. Three people awkwardly glanced over their shoulder at the petite woman who was throwing a public tantrum.

"What are you all looking at?" Mary yelled, her eyes blazing at all the nosy passersby. They should just mind their own business instead of looking at her with all their judgy eyes. It wasn't her fault this whole winter was as shitty as a season could come.

The cinnamony scentwafting from the Christmas stands was actually rather pleasant and Mary couldn't help but admit that it looked quite inviting. With strings of old-fashioned coloured lights and the occasional Christmas tree here and there, the whole market had a cosy vibe that definitely screamed happy holidays. Maybe not such a bad date spot after all. Now she just needed to find Louis, make sure not to kill him, and try and have a nice time.

"Hello, Mary." she heard from behind her. She quickly turned around and stood eye to eye with...

Santa Claus.

"Errr..." she stuttered, glancing up and down at Santa. What did he want? How did he know her name? Wait...

"Oh sorry," Santa muttered, pulling down his beard to reveal a rather smug looking face and blonde hair.

"Louis," Mary stated, her blood boiling as she glared at the Santa clothed guy. What. The. Actual. Hell. Was Louis really dressed like Santa Claus? On a date? The audacity.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Mary exclaimed, not sure whether to cry or laugh. Her first ‘date’ in a while and this was how the guy showed up?

"Is there an issue?" Louis smiled innocently, rather pleased that his costume had the desired effect.

Mary's eyes widened like saucers. "Yes, there is an issue. This—" she gestured at his whole outfit. "—Is an issue. Why the hell are you dressed like Santa?"

Louis smirked, his white beard snapping back to his face. "I forgot I was working today," he winked, basking in Mary's angry glares. Lie. He guessed right, she did think it was embarrassing to be on a date with Santa.

"If you're telling me that our date consists of me helping you work, I'm out of here right now. I don't care what you tell your grandma!" Mary scoffed. If looks could kill, Louis would have disintegrate on the spot.

The blond held up his hands. "Ho, ho, ho, I've just finished work. I just haven't been able to change yet." Another lie. His regular clothes were in his burlap sack, but he sure as hell wouldn't tell the little she-devil that.

Mary squinted at Louis, not sure if she was being punked or not. "Did you just use... "Ho, ho, ho," in a real sentence?"

Louis grinned, looking quite proud of himself. "I did. Neat, isn't it?"

"You like puns?"

"Actually, I do."

"Hmm...interesting," she mused, remembering he did react to her punny pick-up lines. Maybe he wasn't as composed and indifferent as he made himself out to be? Maybe she should seduce him, just so she could add him to her list. Yes, that seemed like a great idea, Mary thought, suddenly disappointed she wasn't wearing her sexy lace dress after all.

"Interesting?" Louis asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Yes."

"Why is that interesting?"

Mary grinned, deciding to ignore his Santa costume. If she had it her way, he wouldn't be wearing that red curtain much longer anyway.

"No reason," she smiled politely, throwing her dark hair over her shoulder. "Shall we go?"

For a moment, Louis was taken aback. Genuinely surprised that Mary didn't run straight home after he showed up in his costume, he faltered in his step.

"You coming?" Mary called over her shoulder, strolling into the market and pretending that going on a date with Santa Claus was just a daily occurrence. You know. Shopping for groceries, stocking the bathroom with tissues, going on a date with Santa, cooking dinner, just one of those things.

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