Page 49 of SALT

"It does, but it doesn't mean the idea isn't nice. I don't see myself ever planting roots."

"Why is that?"

She mindlessly pokes the fire with a long stick as she stares at the flames. "Don't have anyone or anything to keep me rooted. So why stay?"

"You have Lauren. Is she not staying here? You guys have been here a little over a month now. I assumed maybe this place was starting to grow on the two of you."

My question is twofold. I do care how long Stormy stays. She's an acquired taste, but the same can be said about me, and I like her. I'd hate to have to say goodbye before we could be epic. She has a lot of Thelma and Louise potential, but I'm also selfishly wondering if that means Lauren isn't staying either.

"I don't know if Lauren has plans to stay here. She doesn't talk about it, but something happened here. Coming here wasn't easy for her, but she came, and while I know she did it for me, I'm hoping the time she spent away from here has healed her. I know time can't heal everything, but it can help." She takes a drink before asking, "What about you? Did I hear you mention to Lauren that you have family on the East Coast? Are you staying here for your crush on Everett, or do you have another reason for staying?"

I purse my lips trying to recall the conversation she's referencing. "Oh, you mean when she brought us lunch. Yeah, she was prying and asking what I was to Everett. I couldn't tell if it was because she was interested in dating him or genuinely curious. But yes, after my parents died, I found out that my brother was only my half brother. My father cut him from the will because he wasn't his blood."

"So your mom had an affair?"

I roll my lips before saying, "My father wrote a letter, which I received on my twenty-first birthday. It held apologies and cryptic confessions and said things without saying anything at all. My letter was written before he died, which means it was cautionary. No one knows how or when their time is up. I think he left some words unsaid because he was protecting my mom. He didn't want to shine a negative light on her." I take a sip of my drink and look up at the sky. "When it came to his words revolving around Kelce's paternity, he said, 'Time discovers the truth.' Those words, coupled with what I know about my parent's marriage, lead me to believe he didn't know the truth about his son until after I was born. My parents had a shotgun wedding after they found out she was pregnant. If I had to guess, my father learned that truth around the time I was born, and that's why he stayed with my mother."

I know my father; he was a planner and always careful with his words. He was a good man and would have never wanted to say anything that would lead me to believe I was the reason why he stayed in his loveless marriage. Once I notice a long stretch of silence has passed between us, I pull my gaze out of the stars, fearful I bored her to sleep with my tales. When my eyes look in her direction, I find hers zeroed in on me.

"Do you think your dad stayed faithful to your mom even after he discovered the truth?"

"You never did mention why you're here," I say, as I pull in an anxious breath and change the subject.

"Sorry, that was too personal." She rubs her hands together. "It hits close to home is all. I never knew my father, so I suppose some part of me always looks for his motive for leaving in other people's stories. I'm not the best at dealing with things that are important to me. I notoriously fuck up, but my intentions are always rooted in love. I'm rambling now, but long story short, the opinions of others easily impact our own. I wanted to scope out the people here before sharing myself. I guess I'm a little guarded, and my reason for being here is important. I didn't want to mess it up."

She pauses, and I can tell whatever she's holding isn't easy. I know what it's like to carry the weight of heavy demons, so I say, "You don't have to tell me. I didn't realize it was that serious. I'm only making con?—"

"No." She shakes her head. "It's okay. Have you ever felt like part of you is missing? Something you can't quite put your finger on? When my mother passed, it made me want to find my father. I hadn't cared about finding him when she was alive. Why should I give two shits about a sperm donor? But recently, I've cared. I've cared a lot."

Her comments resonate, but not because I didn't know my parents. Rather, I always felt like I had one parent, and the other one didn't fit. My mother and I were polar opposites. Don't get me wrong; I loved her, but that was out of respect for who she was—my mother. That love was not founded on bond or friendship. Regardless, I know what it's like to feel out of step, to feel like a part of you is missing even when you should be whole.

"I think sometimes it takes falling apart to fall back together. After I lost my parents, the grief I felt tested my faith. For a long time, I carried guilt because I wasn't in the car with them. I should have died too, and in that grief and loneliness, it's easy to also feel like something is missing because it is. The people woven into our hearts are gone, but at some point, you learn to rebuild around that loss, and slowly, piece by piece, you are whole again. Caring and seeking those truths are part of finding your pieces."

She leans back in her chair and stares up at the sky. "That was heavy." She blows out a breath. "But you're right. It's why I want to find my dad. I only ever had my mom's story. That's her truth, but what's his? Maybe they are one and the same, but I need to hear that from his mouth. Once I have that, maybe I'll discover I've been whole all along; my pieces just fit together differently now."

Her gaze returns to the fire, where she watches the flames dance across the logs, and I fall silent with her, lost to the serenity of the crackling embers. I sit back in my chair, feeling slightly lighter after our conversation. In this life, you don't run into many people that you can connect with on a deep level. At the end of the day, most of the people we call friends are acquaintances, more or less. We watch our P's and Q's, pick and choose what parts of us we want to share, and go on with our lives. Rarely do we sit and give them one hundred percent honesty about anything, let alone matters of the heart.

"So, if you're not planning on staying around, when are you leaving me?"

She tosses her poker stick into the fire. "I'm more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants girl. I'm not a planner, but I'm also not flighty. I'll stay for the summer to finish my commitments working at the stadium."

"Well, that's something to celebrate!" I shake my glass at her as I get out of my chair. "Ready for a refill?" I don't make it more than two steps before I trip over nothing and fall on my ass. "Shit, I made that drink stiffer than I thought."

She comes to my rescue with a smile on her face. "Are you okay?"

I stare up at her from my spot on the ground. "That fucking twig tripped me."

With a laugh, she extends her hand. "Come on, red, it's time for bed."

"Hey, a nickname, I think someone's starting to like me. Best friend title, here I come."

She laughs, "Let's go. You're cut off."

Icould have sworn I left my phone in Stormy's room, but when I dropped her off this morning, it wasn't there. It wasn't anywhere in the damn house, and I know for a fact I had it when I got there because I texted her from the damn driveway, letting her know I was there before she told me to come in, and Mac texted while I was in her room. We don't have to be at the stadium today because the team has an away game, but I still woke up at the crack of dawn anxious as fuck to get home. If I had my phone, I might have had a little more chill, but the fact that I couldn't check it to see if Everett called or texted me was gnawing away at my sanity.

Driving down the tree-lined path that leads to the house, I step on the gas a little harder, only to pump the brakes as the house comes into view and I see the car parked in the driveway. Lauren fucking Rhodes is here. Pulling into the driveway, I try to quiet the voices in my head, filling it with doubt and going over every worst-case scenario as to why she would be here again. I flip down my mirror and check my face. Not only did I race out of the trailer to come home, but I also opted out of freshening up, a rare move on my part. I was so wired I couldn't help myself. Pro tip: buy good makeup. Good makeup wears well, and you don't wake up not looking like the girl he fell asleep next to.

When I attempt to open the front door, it's locked. "What the hell?" Everett has always been extra regarding security, but he's never been in the habit of locking doors when guests are over. I key in the code, and the door opens, but the second I step inside, I wish I hadn't.

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