Page 67 of SALT

"Like every dream I've ever had come true." I pull her into me and kiss the top of her head, knowing if I do anything more, the emerald-green dress she's wearing will be on the floor. Taking her hand in mine, I lead her out the front door.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Do you realize you've asked me that at least ten times since I invited you to dinner tonight?" I say as I open the car door.

"Yeah, I was just hoping this time you'd actually spill so I'd know if I'm dressed appropriately," she answers sardonically as she takes her seat.

"Not possible. You could be wearing sweats and still be flawless," I answer, closing the door before she can argue the issue any further.

The car ride to the Chophouse was quiet, but Cameron had been uncharacteristically quiet since she left my office this morning, only breaking her silence to try and get answers about where I was taking her for dinner tonight. Because what we shared in my office this morning was fucking perfect, and since she left with rosy cheeks and a smile on her face, I assumed we were good, but as she sips her wine and looks anywhere but at me, I am wondering if it's not something else.

"I want to ask you something," she says, her eyes finally focusing on mine for the first time this evening. Her hand mindlessly sweeps over the velveteen material of her clutch, telling me whatever she's about to ask is something that's been on her mind.

"Okay." I blow out a breath of resolve. I knew this was coming. I told her we'd talk. I take a long drink of my smoked old fashioned.

"Do you want more kids?"

I'd like to say I'm an expert at controlling my emotions and holding my mask in place, but that question has my eyebrows shooting to my hairline. Out of all the topics I might have guessed were running through her pretty little head, that was not one of them.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because your ex-wife is pregnant, and I could tell it made you feel something earlier. I also knew Chad Hailsop's name wasn't unfamiliar to you when Parker threw it around at the game. I thought maybe it's because the two were somehow connected and you wanted more kids," she finishes quieter than she started, showing her nerves.

Of course she would easily draw those conclusions. Cameron sees the parts of me no one ever has.

"Chad Hailsop was in Garrett's class. They've been good friends for a long time, which is how Moira met him. Chad went to medical school to become a reproduction endocrinologist. He ended up landing a residency in Texas and never left." I take another long drink as I choose my next words. Connor wasn't planned. After he was born, Moira went on the pill. She never expressed an interest in having more kids, and I never pushed the issue. But I'd be remiss if I said seeing her start over and start a new family didn't make me feel something. "As for the rest, hearing your ex-wife is pregnant at forty-five is thought-provoking."

"You realize that last part isn't an answer, right?"

"Not all answers are black and white." I finish my drink as I begin to become flustered. I've laid awake making lists of pros and cons of why we can't work, and this topic is on the con list. I wanted tonight to be something special, but now it's starting to feel like a teachable moment. One where my job is to prove why we don't fit. I can't break her heart and push her away. She'll have to break mine. "I believe my time for having kids has passed. Most people my age stopped having kids ten years ago. What about you? You have an IUD. Is that just birth control until you find the one, or are kids off the table?"

I'm sure she wants kids. This has to be the deal breaker. The moment that proves we aren't soul mates but rather star-crossed lovers.

"People are waiting longer to get married and settle down these days. Your brothers are perfect examples of that. Colton is thirty-two and still single, and Garrett is fifty with an eight-year-old. Life is what you make it; it's okay to color outside the lines. That's how we create our own beautiful masterpieces." She swirls her wine, and her eyebrows furrow slightly before she adds, "I've never put too much thought into having kids. I know some women do. They've either always wanted them or felt called to do it, but I think I could go either way. If the person I was with wanted them, it wouldn't be a hard sell. How could I not want to create a life with the person I love and have a little mini that's half of me and half of them?"

Fucking hell. I should have seen that coming. I keep waiting for us to find something, a hard line that divides us and can't be overlooked, one that tells us to end this before anyone knows it exists. But everything has been too perfect. She's too perfect. Talking about kids right now feels like jumping ten steps ahead, and I don't want to dream about futures that aren't ours to have, so I risk changing the subject. "Do you like the restaurant I chose?"

"I like being with you," she answers before sipping her wine and averting her gaze again. Something is off, and I don't believe it's related to the topic of having children.

"Cameron, if you'd rather go home, we don't have to stay. We can get our food to go."

"Why would we do that?" Her eyes swing back to mine.

The anniversary of her parents' accident is right around the corner, and I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop. That must be what this is now. Her silence is wrapped in thoughts of them. "I wanted to give you something special, but my attempt at it is ill-timed. I was thoughtless not to consider that now is a time of solemnity for you." It is for me too, but I don't mention it. I would never want to take away from her grief or add to it by sharing my own.

"Yes, I like to reflect and be alone around the anniversary of my parents' accident, but that doesn't mean I don't want to replace sad memories with happy ones. When I'm with you, I forget that my heart has cracks. You fill them in."

"Then why does it feel like you're anywhere but here with me?"

"Why did you bring me here tonight?"

"I'm trying, Cameron. Nothing in my life prepared me for this… for you. You mean a lot to me. I've told you that on more than one occasion now. You're changing me. I'm trying to turn the page and get closer to yours. I thought you'd see that."

She nods as though she agrees, but I can tell it's more of an appeasing gesture than a genuine understanding. "You brought me to 801 Chophouse, a steakhouse forty-five minutes outside of town where no one we know would see us."

"I didn't see it that way when I chose this place. It's one of my favorite places to eat in the city. They don't have fine dining like this back home. I thought I was making a memory."

"I don't need any of this. All I need is to be yours in all ways. We're tethered to this story, Everett. It's ours to tell. I know what I want it to say. I've felt what it's like to be yours, and I never want to lose that. Ever. You have me. All of me. All you have to do is want the same."

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