Page 20 of The Devil In Disguise

“This isn’t over,” the man, Eli, says with a sinister smirk before stalking off after the guy who called him.

That’s enough socializing for one day, if you ask me. I waste no time in making my way back towards my front door. Tonight, I’ll have to barricade the door and sleep with my knife right next to me. I’m not taking any chances. That creep, Kylo, got inside pretty easily this morning.

The Doberman makes me stop walking, again, as he stares up at me. Looking around, I see nobody in the woods, but I don’t want any more overwhelming encounters. Directing my attention back to the dog, I ask, “I don’t suppose you want to keep me company, do you?”

If I didn’t know any better, I would say this dog understands me perfectly because he sighs and moves—for the first time since I’ve seen him—towards the woods. As I pass in front of the neighboring house toward mine, I notice the windows are the same. We probably have the same layout.

Is this Kylo’s house?

My attempts at peeking inside are useless—the curtains he has are so thick I can’t even see the silhouette of a chair. Even the dog appears to be growing impatient, so I follow behind him to a tree near the front of the woods that hides us while still letting us see the two back houses.

With my back against the tree and my legs out, I pet the dog who sits directly next to me with his paw on my thigh while I talk about anything and everything. He doesn’t seem to mind.

As nice as it feels to vent, it would be even nicer to hear something back. Advice or even just words of encouragement. I know I don’t belong here—the company makes that glaringly obvious. But where do I belong?

There is a part of me that feels like I have never belonged. How can I begin to figure any of that out if I don’t really know who I am?

A heavy paw shifting its weight off my leg drags me out of my thoughts, not that I remember how long I went quiet for. When the dog stands to his full height and perks his ears up, staring intently at an open space, I join him in scanning the area, alert. When Kylo comes into view, my shoulders relax a fraction.

From my spot, I watch him scan the area and then look right in my direction, but not quite at me. Stepping out at the same time the dog starts to walk to him, I catch the look of shock that sweeps over his face before he covers it up. His eyes bounce between the two of us suspiciously.

When I’m close enough to hear him, he says, “What did you do to Ace?”

I furrow my eyebrows and slow my stroll. “I didn’t do anything, he was keeping me company. He might be the only one around here who isn’t a surly asshole.”

Not once has he looked me in the eyes since I started talking. He turns away from me and addresses the dog, “Ace, you’re staying inside while I’m out.”

I haven’t said more than a handful of words to him and he already seems pissed off. I’m starting to think that’s just his permanent mood. If he’s taking away my only friend, then I don’t want to stay out here alone.

“Where are you going?”

“Somewhere you’re not.”

I take it back, I would rather be alone. Who taught him to walk away from people after saying what he has to say? What if I was trying to be nice? I probably wouldn’t want to go to the places he frequents, anyway.

Settling on taking a shower, since I need to hand wash my clothes again, I stay in my room in nothing but my towel. The air leaves my lungs for a second when I throw myself back on the bed, hand on my throat and eyes focused on the plain white ceiling.

When I’m alone the thoughts get louder and more confusing. It’s suffocating. I apply pressure on my throat after I breathe out, focusing on the pounding of my heartbeat until all the thoughts drown out and I let go to take a deep breath of air. I will not spiral. We will not spiral.

Controlling my breath is a habit I know I’ve had for a while. I think it started when I began getting really bad, period cramp pain. Whenever I’d hold my breath, the pain would go away. I applied this to more than just my cramps. I’m aware this is where my kink for erotic asphyxiation and hand necklaces come from, but it’s deeper than that.

When I'm in pain, my control over my breathing feels like having full control over my emotions and thoughts. It all washes away for that moment.

I’m about to repeat the process when a loud knock startles me, making me jump to my feet. Kylo said he was leaving, so who could that be? The encounter from earlier today flashed through my mind. Without second-guessing myself, I grab my knife and inch slowly out the room.

Great. I have no clothes on.

Another knock comes when I’m right by the door. I try to get a good look at who it is through the window without revealing myself, but I only see a portion of their side. They are short and appear to be wearing a…black dress? My curiosity has me showing my face in order to get a better look. The older woman barely smiles at me before I’m hiding again, though I’m not sure why, since she already saw me.

The unmistakable scent of smoked pork hits me as soon as I crack the door open. This woman must be a maid based on her outfit and the tray in hand.

“Hello,” she says with a forced smile on her face. She can’t be older than forty, though there are bags under her eyes that make her seem older.

“Hi, can I help you?” The tray in her hand is covered and I notice a plastic bag in her other hand.

“I’m here to serve your dinner, as requested. May I come in?”

I didn’t request any dinner…but my stomach would threaten me if I turned away a perfectly good meal.

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