“Oh?” He tilts his head.
“There are diary entries in here. Keepers of the amulet didn’t live happy lives. They were saddled with the welfare of a group of ungrateful people. Everyone wanted a piece of them.”
“Where the hell were their mates?” The rumble in his chest wakes something primal in me.
“They didn’t have any originally and it was grim. They were magical servants, kept under the Alpha’s thumb in his home.” Cadoc sneers.
I share his sentiment. “Then there was a rare female alpha who came into power and changed everything. She instituted the multiple mates policy with the Volva. They saw the need in a vision.”
“I imagine things changed quickly after that, huh?”
“Yes.” I smile.
“I know it’s a lot to take in. It scared me too.”
I barely keep from rolling my eyes as I take in his muscular frame. “Please, don’t patronize me.” I look at the large man and roll my eyes.
“There are many ways to experience fear. I could face a room full of enemies on my own, but this—” He waves a hand between us. “Relationships and feelings terrify me.”
I turn. The strain on his face is evident. He’s telling the truth.
“I almost had a mate once. When I was just shy of a hundred. I was ready to give up everything and settle down with her to raise pups.”
His voice is unnaturally husky and I catch the bitter scent of sorrow.
“Rena was the girl next door. Outdoorsy, strong, kind, and nurturing, she matched me well. She taught school, and I liked the way she cared for the pups. After so many years of battle, I was ready to settle in and have a turn at normal life.”
I slow my breathing, afraid to make a wrong move that’ll shut him down.
“You would’ve liked her. She had the prettiest black hair that curled around her face, and a laugh that lit up a room”
Shadows darken his face.
“Then the sickness took her, and I saw it as a sign I wasn’t meant to live that life. My pack needed me to protect it. It’s an honorable living I resigned myself to.”
Guilt twists me into knots. “I ruined that.”
“No.” His lips curve. “You gave me a second chance. I knew from the minute the Alpha named me as one of your mates I was screwed. I could never keep things between us transactional. You’ve held a portion of my heart from the first moment I met those hazel eyes when I held you for the first time.”
His gentle tone does wicked things to my insides. I’m sitting in a puddle of want, and eating up every word. The proud man revealing such vulnerability and honesty is intensely arousing.
“I’m not good at this kind of thing.” He runs a hand through his dark hair.
“I disagree.” I place my hand over his. “You’re doing just fine from where I’m sitting. Thank you for sharing this with me.”
“We’ve watched your tragedy play out in real-time. I wanted to even the playing field.”
Sincerity lurks in his pale blue gaze, and I can’t look away. Potent pheromones flow from his pores, making it hard to focus.
“Cadoc,” I whimper.
“You ready for me, again, Brat?”
Licking my lips, I gulp. “I’m not sure.”
“Too bad.” He flashes me a predatory grin. “Cause you smell ripe for the picking, and I’m done controlling myself.”
I gush and he groans. “You need something to take the edge off, don’t you, Brat?”