Page 13 of Guarded By the Vodnik

Yes, that made sense. I wanted to keep her calm to have more peace.

But why the fuck couldn’t I speak? That didn’t explain it.

Zoe was quiet, her face pressed into the crook of my neck right next to my gills, and even though I couldn’t feel her skin through the mask, I was acutely aware of how strange it felt. Her face was right there, next to mine. I was suddenly jolted by the awareness that I hadn’t held a female in… Damn. Two decades.

At least, not like this.

I had sex, of course. There was one upper-tier establishment I liked to visit once a month simply to blow off steam and keep my reproductive instincts in check. But that was always a purely physical thing, professional and paid for. Organs came together, tentacles coiled around each other, but there was no need to bring our faces or torsos close.

It was how I preferred it. Just sex, but with enough distance that I could shake it off at once.

Because when I’d once made the mistake of letting a sex worker embrace and kiss me twenty years ago, I was unwell for months to come. All the things I worked so hard to control rose to the surface and tortured me for weeks.

I never made that mistake again.

Fuck, I cursed in the depths of my mind. Why was I thinking about sex? My monthly appointment had been two weeks ago, and my lethargic libido shouldn’t be waking up for another two. I’d trained myself to get by on the little I allowed myself.

But my human principal disrupted my routine. And now I held her closer than I’d held a woman before, and my instincts reacted, which was utterly illogical. She was human, for fuck’s sake.

There was nothing particularly attractive about humans, not to me, though I knew some vodniks swung that way.

Zoe chose this moment to squirm in my hold, her warm body sliding over my scales. I jolted, losing my rhythm.

“Can you maybe indicate how much longer it will take? I’m getting kind of jittery. Um. Low blood sugar after all that panicking.” She laughed huskily, and it made me twitch. “And, uh, well, I’ll need the bathroom soon.”

I swallowed thickly. She asked if I could “indicate” because she obviously thought I wasn’t capable of speech. This was getting out of hand, and I had to get over whatever the fuck was wrong with me.

Zoe squirmed expectantly while I swallowed again. The tightness in my throat grew even worse, like a hot stone was lodged in there.

Maybe it was the heat of her? Maybe the temperature wreaked havoc with my… hormones, or something?

“It’s okay if you can’t, I perfectly understand,” she said when I didn’t react apart from slowing down. “Forget I said anything. This is really nice, and I’m impressed by how fast we’re moving. I mean, I assume it’s fast, because I feel the movement. But the landscape is kinda the same.”

She chuckled softly under her breath. My throat tightened even more, the vise of unfamiliar, burning emotion closing in.

I didn’t understand her. We were strangers. I was a big, scary vodnik who hadn’t even said one word to her. Why was she so… So?

I lacked the right words to describe her.

But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I got over myself. I swam to a gentle halt and floated, still holding her. Somehow, I felt this would be easier without her looking at me.

With a heroic force of will, I made my voice sack expand, emitting a guttural growl that pushed past the resistance. Zoe flinched with a squeak, but when I expected her to spring away from fright, she pressed closer, her arms tightening around me.

“W-what was that?” she whispered, barely loud enough to hear.

The tension in my throat loosened just enough. I spoke, though my voice was very much unlike mine. But at least, I formed words now.

“It’s less than an hour. There’s food and a bathroom.”

She tensed and then slowly pulled back, though she didn’t struggle to get free. Guided by a helpless instinct, I looked down. Her eyes were wide and so very green.

“So… You can speak? I just assumed you couldn’t, because… Oh, you know what, never mind. Thank you for letting me know. I can handle an hour. Is there anything else you want me to know? Like, can I make the journey easier on you somehow?”

I grimaced and looked away. The only way she could make things better was if she kept her distance and swam on her own, but that wasn’t an option. So I shook my head, working my jaw.

“Oh,” she said, sounding surprised. But then, a soft laugh stole into her voice. I glanced down, unable to stop myself.

She grinned up at me.

---