Page 54 of Their Pretty Little Monster

I can’t believe I just had sex. With a monster, no less.

“Did I hurt you too much?” he asks.

“Is it strange if I admit that I enjoyed the pain?” I murmur, curling in on myself, while he draws me closer to him, embracing me with his body.

His lips brush my ear. “Pleasure is never enjoyed without a sliver of pain.”

“You know what else is strange?” I say, turning my head slightly to look at him, where he still holds his monster form. I should be scared, but his appearance is becoming a real turn-on. “You’re not like the Viscount I first met in Nightingale Village. I mean, you look like him in human form, but you don’t really behave that way anymore. Even the way you speak is more relaxed.”

“Do any of us really show our true selves when away from home?”

I think about his words, about how, in the village, I always put on a mask around others to avoid gaining attention. Alina had seen more of the real me than anyone else there… well, except for my mom. Now, I wonder about both of them and if they’re safe. I suspect Alina would be cheering for me if I told her I just lost my virginity.

“I have appearances to maintain on Earth,” Killian continues, drawing my attention back to him. “The Viscount is who you first met, who had a role to play, but the Shadowfen you’re with now, that’s who you’re going to fall in love with.”

A laugh escapes my lips, but he’s not laughing with me.

“That’s very forward,” I admit, glancing back again at the hard expression on his face as he studies me, something I’m becoming more accustomed to—the healed scar that runs across his brow, the curls of deep blue ink reaching up along his neck and collarbone. Next to him, I’m tiny, yet my fear has transformed into something more profound, something that resembles an attraction I never expected.

“I’m a Shadowfen who always looks forward,” he says sarcastically. “The past holds nothing for me.”

We lie in silence, his response toying with my mind while he tightens his hold around my middle, his leg draping over mine, giving me zero opportunity to leave if I tried.

“What happened in the past?” I ask out of curiosity.

Silence.

I assume he’s not going to respond. Part of me guesses he may have lost many loved ones during the Great Desolation on their home world.

“For a long time, I traveled to other worlds, searching for my intended mate, as she wasn’t on my home planet. Then I thought I found her… someone who swept me away so fast that I stood no chance to doubt anything,” he begins. “I foolishly believed she felt the same way.”

Silence stretches between us, impatience getting the better of me.

“Did she hurt you?” My throat is tight at hearing him speak of his attraction to someone else.

“She passed away, and only after that did I discover she was going to break up with me.” He pauses, and my insides clench at his pain. “It took me a long time to come to terms with the hurt and grief. I honestly believed she was the one, and when I lost her, I threw myself into hunting or fighting anything and anyone who stood in my way. Nyko wasn’t much of a help as he encouraged me, joining in alongside me.” He chuckles as if remembering the moments.

“It’s only in more recent years that I tried to find my true mate again. And I had to be certain she was the one when I found her.” There’s hardness in his voice, as though he’s worked out how to separate his emotions from such a heart-wrenching experience.

“I’m so sorry you went through that.” Draping my arm around his, I draw his hand up to my face and kiss it, then glance back at him.

“I guess that’s why you insisted on the ritual with me, to make sure?”

He nods, then kisses the top of my head while holding me possessively, as if he has no intention of ever letting me go. There’s something painful in knowing he suffered, that his heart was ripped out, his feelings not returned.

“The past is just that, Sage. My focus is you and our future,” he says with strong conviction. Does he assume I’m going to run away from him?

In all honesty, I’m taking it day by day, still dealing with my own changes that I can’t even think about what the future will bring. Let alone what having a true mate really entails.

After a long pause, I ask, “How would I find out who my father is? To discover if he’s still alive and maybe… if he’ll even want to see me?”

He stiffens against my back and swallows loudly. “We have a whole section in the Chamber of Tomes listing everyone before the Great Desolation.”

I frown, figuring I may not know his name, but maybe Mom took his surname? Do monsters have them? “Hmm, do the Shadowfen have surnames? I don’t even know my father’s name.”

“It’s not a common practice,” he confirms. “So, for me, I am Killian Venator, while Nyko carries no surname. It depended on our ancestor’s positioning in the kingdom. Only those close to the royal family were permitted to choose a surname. These days, it’s not much of an issue as most go by first name only. Our identities are easily revealed by our blood now.”

“Perhaps I can have mine tested, see if there’s a way to match it with others in your records,” I ask, hopeful.

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