Page 101 of In Spades

Like a magnet, she drew to me at once. She laid her head on my shoulder, in the crook of my neck. I buried my nose in her hair and inhaled the fresh scent of her shampoo.

“Say the word and I’ll stay,” I said softly. “Sleep with you. Fix your coffee in the morning.”

“That would be divine.” Her answer was muffled, but the point was made.

“Then tell me to stay.”

Kristin sighed and pulled away so she could lay down. “I want you to, but this is their house, too.”

I respected that, but part of me was worried that she used the kids as a reason to keep me at arm’s length. I toed my shoes off and slid under the covers, fully dressed.

“Will—”

“Just a few minutes,” I said, pulling her into my arms. “The kids are asleep. I won’t stay the night, just give me a few minutes with you like this.”

Kristin curled into my arms, resting her head on my chest. It didn’t take long for her to untuck my shirt and slide her hand up my chest, skin on skin.

“I can hear you thinking,” I murmured. “Wanna loop me in?”

Her throat bobbed against my skin as she swallowed. “What if I’m not ready for this,” she whispered. “It’s a lot and it’s all happening so fast.”

Tucking her hair behind her ear, I said, “Are you not ready, or are you just afraid of what could happen if you are ready?”

“Maybe a little of both.”

Not exactly the thing I wanted to hear, but I dismissed the fear and doubled down instead. “Why are you afraid?”

I listened to the crickets outside, trying not to overthink things.

She sighed. “At some point, you’re going to wake up and realize you deserve someone better. Someone who you can show off and be proud to have on your arm. Someone without an airplane’s worth of baggage. I feel like I’m just biding my time until you figure out that I’m not worth it.”

“Kristin, I love you.” The words came out so easily.

“I don’t know why,” she said, voice trembling.

“Love isn’t about what you have to offer; it’s about who you are.” I pulled her closer, tipping her chin up until she locked eyes with me in the dim light. “You’re worthy of love.” I leaned down and kissed her. Kristin’s lips were soft and supple. “All five of you. And before you say it’s too soon, let me tell you something, Sunshine. People are too stingy with saying I love you. There’s nothing mature or enlightened about withholding love and not telling someone how you feel. The only person who loses out is you because you don’t get their love in return.”

Her eyelids fluttered closed, and she rested her forehead on my mouth. “I think I love you too.”

Smiling against her warm skin, I chuckled. “Why do you say it like that?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never been in love before, but I think this is what love feels like.”

“How does it make you feel?”

“Safe. Wanted. Like I have a place to run to.” She leaned up and kissed me gently. Her lips were soft, ghosting over mine. She tangled her fingers in my hair and whispered, “You feel like home.”

23

KRISTIN

Will rolled down the window on his truck and handed the parking lot attendant a ten-dollar bill. Truck tires cut through the mix of gravel and mud as he rolled down the lane. It took a few laps, but we finally found a spot at the back of the lot.

The second he slowed to a stop and threw the truck into park, the kids yanked off their seatbelts and crawled over each other, fighting to be the first to get out.

Will hopped down from the driver’s seat. Before he came around to open my door, he stopped and opened Kylie’s.

Swoon.

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