Page 1 of In Spades

1

KRISTIN

Overdue. A thick stack of unpaid bills loomed over me from their spot on the second-hand particle board end table near my feet. I glared at them and rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

The familiar hum of worry filled my mind, and I groaned to drown out the sound of my thoughts before they could spiral. That little dance with anxiety was the extent of my morning routine. It was unpleasant, but I was used to it.

My whole damn life was overdue.

I snuggled my blanket tightly. The fabric snagged against the prickly cactuses that were my legs. A thorough shave was beyond overdue. Hopefully, my ninety-nine cent razor would last another week.

My stomach growled like an angry beast waiting to be fed.

A green vegetable or two in my diet was probably overdue, too. But carbs were cheaper and more filling. At night, I would force a bag of microwave broccoli down the kids’ throats. Whenever they questioned why I didn’t have to eat any, I would lie and say I ate at work.

The little white lies didn’t bother me much. I was protecting their innocence, and that was priceless.

I rolled over on the couch and closed my eyes again, savoring the last few peaceful moments before the chaos inevitably erupted.

Kylie would wake up first, followed shortly by Hunter. She’d lock herself in the bathroom; he’d pitch a fit for ten minutes about needing to pee. Those two going at it like cats and dogs would wake Zoey. She’d wander out, alarmed by the ruckus.

Logan was a different story. He could sleep through Armageddon and not stir. I’d have to yell at him just to get his butt out of bed in time for the bus. Of course, he would argue that he should be allowed to drive himself to school.

He knew we couldn’t afford another vehicle, so my response was always some version of cars don’t grow on trees.

That never failed to earn a laugh from Zoey. Logan would just roll his eyes and grumble.

Honestly, my life would have been so much easier if Logan had a car. But replacing mine was going to be hard enough. That was seriously overdue.

I couldn’t even comprehend buying a second vehicle. My clunker was already on its last pitiful legs, and I needed to use every mile it had left just to eke out a living.

My promotion to head housekeeper at the Taylor Creek Inn came with a decent pay bump, which helped. Unfortunately, one modest income barely cut it with five mouths to feed.

Weekdays weren’t bad. The kids ate lunch at school and were occupied most of the day. Paying for babysitters and extra groceries in the summer nearly sent me into a tailspin.

I massaged my temples and listened as the shit storm began to brew. Mornings like this made me wonder if I was in over my head.

Did I do the right thing, taking custody of my four younger siblings when our parents went to jail? Would a foster family have been able to provide for them better than I could? What did I know about raising kids?

One day I was a senior in college with a steady boyfriend and a life of my own. The next, I was changing diapers, going to parent-teacher conferences, and living in a rickety single-wide with four children.

At least Logan, Kylie, Hunter, and Zoey were together, I reminded myself.

It wasn’t all bad, though.

Poker night was tonight, which put a smile on my face. It was always a much-needed reprieve from the responsibility of adulthood and semi-parenthood. Mel would be my designated driver, and I fully intended to return home less than sober.

Logan would bitch and moan about having to make dinner. His protests didn’t carry much weight considering that a store-brand frozen pizza was what was on the menu. A seventeen-year-old could turn on a damn oven and stick a pre-made pizza in for twenty minutes.

I needed to leave a note to remind him to take it off the cardboard first…

By an act of God, I got all four kids out the door on time. The bus driver got in a warning honk, wordlessly threatening to leave them behind if they didn’t hurry the hell up. Asshole.

I watched from the front door as the bus pulled away, allowing myself a moment to breathe. My day hadn’t even started yet, and I was already tired. Sleeping on a couch had that effect.

Tomorrow, I’d do it all over. Another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

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