Page 57 of Rivers and Roads

“Do you want something to eat?” I asked him. The shit in my fridge was probably bad, but I had enough in the cupboard to whip something up. The idea of cooking right then made me want to weep, but I was willing to do anything for him.

Luckily, he shook his head and closed the distance between us, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me to his body like he was afraid of letting go. “I just want to sleep.”

I nodded, turning my face up to kiss him, then I led the way into the bedroom. We stripped methodically down to almost nothing—socks and boxers—comfortable in the chilly air. I pulled back the sheets and blanket, then took the spot by the wall as he curled into me and locked my legs with his powerful calf.

“I need you to know something,” he said as exhaustion finally started to creep over my bones.

“Okay.”

He brushed fingers into my hair. “I’m not willing to wait until I’m better to bond with you.” I opened my eyes, and he pressed his finger to my lips. “I don’t think I’m going to heal completely, but I know that I’m in love with you, and that’s not going to change. No matter how much I do or don’t recover.”

“Zane,” I breathed quietly against his skin, and he rubbed the pad of his finger along my lips before replacing it with his mouth.

I kissed him long, slow, deep. A kiss that might have led somewhere if we weren’t exhausted down to our very core. He pulled away with a series of pecks over my cheeks, down my throat, over the spot he would bite if I let him.

And I wasn’t fooling myself anymore. I was going to let him.

“I don’t mean tonight,” he said, grazing me with blunt teeth. “We have so much to take care of when the sun’s up. But I don’t want to wait much longer than that.”

I dragged my hands up and down his back, then urged his chin up so I could kiss him one last time. “Yes.”

His eyes glowed fierce in the dark. Bioluminescent.

“Yes?”

I kissed him a second time. “Yes.”

We fell right to sleep and woke tangled in each other like we had been sleeping that way for years. Zane’s chest was rising and falling, lost to the world, and I carefully extracted myself from his grasp and moved into the bathroom to wash up and relieve myself.

It still felt strange to be home, almost like I was walking in a dream. But reality was setting in when I realized what we had to do. Zane would need to meet with the Council—two of the five now missing—either in hiding or on a mission—and I needed to figure out where my place was.

And, I thought as I looked in the mirror and saw a flicker of orange near my pupils, I’d need to visit the hospital and see any of the doctors who had been working with Danyal on the serum. I was mostly myself, but Kor was right—my scent was different, and there was a lot of me that had been…altered. There was every chance it would wear off after a few more weeks, but if not, I wanted to be prepared.

I peered back into the bedroom and saw Zane hadn’t moved, so I headed for the kitchen and found a canister of coffee still in my freezer and some unopened bacon that wasn’t out of date. I had enough eggs that I could whip us up a quick breakfast, and then I had to put shopping on the agenda.

As I started the coffee maker, I felt a sudden pang of loss when I looked up and didn’t see the quiet forest through the window. Here in these walls, I could feel all the Wolves—our power moving together into something that might eventually become like pack. But it was lined with apprehension and fear, because something big was on the horizon, and we were all tired of fighting.

The humans had effective weapons against us now, and worst of all, they had the support of Wolves in power, which meant none of us were safe. It meant we had to walk around not knowing if, at any given moment, someone we had come to trust would betray us.

As the smell of coffee began to fill the kitchen, I heard the thumping of Zane’s heartbeat increase as he started to wake. From the kitchen, I could hear him shuffling in the sheets, and it wasn’t long before he padded into the room looking sleep-rumpled and delicious.

He didn’t say anything, his eyes barely open, but he crowded me against the counter and pushed his face into my neck. I had a single moment of desperate wishing that it could be like this forever—that I had paid my dues and was allowed to just have this—and then I turned my head and smudged a kiss against his temple.

“Did you get enough sleep?”

“Mmfph,” he muttered against my skin. He mouthed at my pulse, then laid his cheek against my shoulder as we listened to the coffee percolate. “You?”

“Solid as the dead,” I told him.

“I got up a couple times—bad dreams,” he said in his still sleep-thick voice. “But it was easier with you there.”

“Sorry I didn’t get up.” I dragged my fingers through his hair, then he pulled back and looked at me, more awareness in his eyes.

“Don’t be. I went to sleep easier knowing you were resting.” He touched the side of my face, then let out a jaw-cracking yawn and stepped around me to rummage through the cupboards.

After a beat of him finding nothing, I laughed and turned to the one behind me, pulling out two mugs. “There will be time for you to get to know the place,” I said. “Unless you want to move somewhere bigger, since this is pretty much a closet.”

I couldn’t read his expression as he stared at me, and he said nothing when he turned away and filled up his mug. I handed him mine, and he poured coffee in right to the brim—exactly the way I liked it, and I couldn’t hide my smile as I gulped the first searing mouthful.

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