Page 52 of Rivers and Roads

“Same shit I said to Orion when I was dragged back to the base.” It was obvious Kor had been ready to counter any protest I made—and he was smart enough to know I’d make one. “You’re the only one old enough and strong enough for our people to trust.”

“Strong enough?” I blurted, my voice on the edge of hysteria. “Do you know what I…?” I stopped, not able to voice those words in front of these strangers.

A silence fell over the room, then I jumped when Misha’s chair scraped across the wood floor. “I think we should start transferring supplies to the cars you all are taking back to Corland.”

I heard Orion’s quiet huff—something like amusement, and maybe even gratitude. I wanted nothing more than his touch, but I wasn’t about to ask for it.

The other Wolves brushed past me, and just when I thought Kor and I were alone, I felt a hand at my waist and lips at the side of my jaw.

“For what it’s worth,” Orion murmured, “I believe in you.”

I closed my eyes as I listened to his steps, and opened them again when Kor cleared his throat. “Sit,” he ordered. “I need to eat, and I can’t concentrate if you’re pacing behind me.”

I crossed the room and took the chair opposite him, waiting as he picked up his fork again and shoveled a couple bites into his mouth. When he swallowed down water, I leaned my arm on the table and fixed my gaze on his face. “It’s not the same as what you went through.”

His jaw tightened, and he offered me a sharp nod. “I know. Orion wouldn’t tell me what happened, but what I read in those reports…” He trailed off, and I saw the fork bend slightly under his hand. “It was written like a clinical outline, but I know just how personal that shit gets.”

I shuddered and squeezed my eyes shut against the memories. “I can’t sleep. I mean, not really. Everything makes me jumpy, and when I heard that fucker’s voice on TV, I totally lost it.”

“I’m not asking you to take over as Head Alpha because I thought you didn’t have a mountain of trauma to work through,” he said, his chin lifting. “I’m asking you because you’re the only one I trust who can keep levelheaded enough that with your trauma, you can still put our people first.”

I sat back, folding my arms over my chest. “Kor…”

“I’m also asking because Orion is in love with you, and like Misha did for me, he can give you the balance you need to do this.”

Orion is in love with you. He said the words so casually, so matter-of-fact, they stole my breath and it took several moments to regain it. “He isn’t…”

“He is. I’ve been bombarded by that shit in the pack bond every time he slips and can’t block it.” Kor’s mouth stretched into a small grin, and he shook his head as he cleared the rest of his plate. When he swallowed his last bite, he swiped his hand over his mouth, then leaned back and closed his eyes. “He’s worried that he’s not enough for you because he’s a Beta. And I’m only telling you this because I know his ass told you already.”

“He did,” I answered quietly. “And I told him how…untrue that is.”

Kor laughed very softly and shook his head. “I have no doubt.” After a second, he sobered, and his hand found the table again before he leaned his arm against it. “The other Alphas understand what we’re fighting. Hell, most of the Wolves do now—at least, the ones who aren’t looking for a way to excuse it all as some conspiracy theory. All of us have seen war. All of us understand just how capable both sides are of unspeakable violence.”

I breathed out and rubbed at my eyes until I saw starbursts. “I know.”

“I trust the ones in our orbit, Zane. And I know you do, because you’re the one who gathered them. But none of them understand.” He opened his eyes and lifted them toward my face, almost defiant, forcing me to see the lasting marks they’d left behind. “It’s not going to be easy, and sometimes you’re going to fall apart. The gods only know how often I do. But we can do this because we’re not alone.”

I looked at his eyes—the way they were almost entirely black—and wondered about my own scars. In the mirror, there wasn’t a single trace that I had ever been captured, that I had ever been reduced to a mindless beast. But inside, I was still raw—flayed alive and bleeding. And it was healing, but I was nowhere close to the Wolf I had been.

“Bond with him,” Kor said. “Both of you are aching for it. I can feel it even without tapping into the pack.”

I chuckled quietly under my breath. “I tried. He’s being a stubborn ass.”

“Well, I’m not surprised about that, but he won’t say no a second time,” Kor said. “And if you’re worried whether or not our people will care that you’ve bonded to a Beta…”

“I’m not,” I told him quickly, and I realized how true that was. “But I’d do it even if they did. I love him too.”

Kor softened a fraction and eased back in his chair. “I won’t be gone forever. I know you didn’t want this position, and I won’t ask you to keep it for longer than necessary. But you have the whole Council behind you. Including Aisling.”

My brows rose. “I’m assuming you mean the new Alpha.”

Kor blinked, then laughed again. “Shit, yeah. Sorry, I didn’t think.”

“It’s fine,” I told him. I stood up and moved to the kitchen, rummaging in the fridge for two beers. Cracking the top, I walked them back over and touched the side of Kor’s hand with one of the bottles. He took it with a grateful sigh and swallowed back several mouthfuls as I sat again. “Where did she come from?”

“Seattle. She was living in a small commune there when everything went to hell. Two dozen of her pack went missing overnight. She was recruited by Lior initially, but…” His words went quiet at the sound of my low growl.

“And that might be another reason you shouldn’t trust me.” I hadn’t thought about the turncoat Alpha in a while, but he had been my suggestion when we were assembling the first Council.

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