Page 43 of Rivers and Roads

It was the only thing he could offer that I’d accept, and I just had to send up a prayer to whatever deity found me worthy of hearing and hope they’d help him keep my heart. Because no matter what happened, it would always be his.

Chapter

Eighteen

ZANE

Denying the bite was harder this time with the bond forming. It was weak and fragile between us, desperately clinging to life, but I knew it wouldn’t last. By the time Kor arrived with the cavalry, it would have faded to nothing.

Of course, that didn’t mean it was over for good, either. At least, as far as I knew, it would be simple enough to rekindle the moment Orion and I were someplace safe. But he was right about one thing: there was no telling why it had formed. It could have been a trauma response, and it could have been my desire for him finally realized.

But I couldn’t tie him to me without knowing for sure.

We parted ways after we cleaned up, Orion muttering something about taking some time apart, so I let him go and laid in the bed, trying not to think. In the dark, the memories were there. The chains, the torture, the voice of the human monster who reduced me to nothing. If I let myself sink into it, I could actually feel the caustic infusions they shoved into my veins to keep me feral.

I could feel hands on my neck, forcing me to kneel, forcing me to crawl. I could feel every vestige of my being stripped away, down to a beast.

Sleep was the enemy, so I counted the shadows until well into the night when I heard footsteps creaking in front of the door.

I knew it was Orion. The bond between us sent a pulse of his uncertainty, but I wanted him to come to me, so I didn’t move. I shifted the blankets over though, and made room for him as I held my breath for his indecision.

There was a small tap, almost like his palm hitting the door, and then I heard him take a breath.

“You can hear me, can’t you?” he called.

I couldn’t help a small chuckle. “The door’s open, you know.”

It swung in, and there was no light behind him to illuminate his hulking shadow. I loved how big he was. Inches shorter, but full and thick with rippling muscle. I had never wanted a delicate Omega, and there was something to be said about watching his eyes lock on mine.

I wasn’t sure I would miss them. I wanted Orion to feel like himself because it was the only way he’d ever let himself belong to me. But the fact that we got to share a heat—got to feel something not every Wolf did, was a gift.

I shifted over a little more when he set a knee on the bed, but he didn’t climb in. Instead, he stared at me with his head tilted. I could only see the glow of his eyes—an almost violet as the color changed—and then the sharp profile of his nose and jaw.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

He huffed a sigh through his nose. “I feel like an ass. I feel like a child. I shouldn’t need to hold your fucking hand to get to sleep.”

“This isn’t exactly a normal situation,” I reminded him. I leaned forward and let my fingertips graze the top of his arm. “And if it helps, I want you here. I didn’t need space.”

He swallowed thickly, the sound catching in his throat, but he didn’t say anything as he carefully shuffled down along the mattress and rolled against my side. What I wanted more than anything was to take him in a possessive hold and pin him beneath me so he couldn’t move without my say-so. But that really would send him running, and I never wanted to be that kind of Alpha.

Instead, I opened my arms to him, and after a beat, he laid his head over my heart. “Do you have nightmares?”

The question startled brutal truth out of me. “Yes. Almost every night.”

He hummed and rubbed his nose against my skin. “Almost?”

“I had a moment of peace,” I told him, “but it didn’t last.” Silence settled over us, and I distracted myself by playing with the short hair at the nape of his neck. “I can hear him—the one who gave the order to turn me into…the thing you rescued. I couldn’t really see anything while I was there. Not…not like Kor. They didn’t blind me, but whatever they gave me…it was like a red haze.”

He stiffened, but he didn’t say anything, and I knew he was giving me this moment. He was letting me unburden myself.

“I craved the taste of blood all the time. I think they put it in the food they gave me. I ate like an animal,” I added on a whisper, too afraid to say it aloud, to acknowledge what I had become for those long, eternal weeks. “I rarely slept. They never let me lie down. I was on all fours, and sometimes I would slip into something like rest, but pain always brought me back.”

“I’m going to destroy them,” Orion whispered, and through the quiet bond, I felt his absolute and utter rage. “I’m going to eat their hearts while they watch.”

I couldn’t help my laugh, and when he made a soft noise of offense, I urged his face up so I could kiss him. “There’s a better way.” He started to shake his head, but I gripped the back of his neck and let the edges of my claws sink into his skin. He calmed after a beat, and only then did I let go. “There’s a better way. He’ll pay for it. He’ll pay for what he’s done to all of our people. But we will not turn into the monsters they want us to be.”

Orion was still stiff in my arms, but eventually he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. It was a dry, careful kiss, but it was full of everything we were. Everything we could be, once we were free of this place. “I wish I could take it from you.”

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