Page 40 of Rivers and Roads

My eyes went wide. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“It took everything—every ounce of my self-control—not to bite you last night. Even when you told me no, I had to fight that urge, because I wanted it more than I have ever wanted anything. But I’m not about to saddle you with some washed-up, war-torn Alpha with a brand-new host of fucking trauma to work through.” He ended on a trembling breath and didn’t meet my gaze, even when I tried to catch his eyes.

My hands were trembling, and I tried to process what he was saying, but it was next to impossible. He couldn’t have wanted this—wanted me. Not for that long. “If you’re just saying this to make me feel better about what I did…”

“You didn’t do anything,” he bit. “At least, nothing that I haven’t desperately wanted for years. I don’t give a shit if you’re a Beta or an Omega, or some fucked-up hybrid of both. You’re a person, and I…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, and I was almost glad of it. “You’re an idiot. You know that, right?”

At that, he finally did look at me, and I could see his eyes were dry but shining. “Yeah. I’ve been told that once or twice. I’m old as dirt, and…”

“And powerful,” I finished for him before he could start some tirade about how unworthy he was. Every atom in my being ached for him, but I didn’t move. I needed him to cross the line. “You’re strong, and one of the smartest Wolves I have ever met. And the moment you went missing, I knew I had to bring you back because I wasn’t about to live without you. Even though I knew then I could never have you the way I wanted.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed with a thick swallow, and his fingers curled into fists. “You can’t mean that. Not after all this.”

“The heat?”

“The way I couldn’t control myself. The gods only know what things will be like for me once this all sets in,” he said. He sounded vulnerable and afraid, and he took a shuffling step closer. I released the counter and dropped my hands to my sides, waiting. “This isn’t over, and what they did…”

I shook my head. “You don’t need to relive that now.”

He let out a watery laugh and lifted his hands toward me. “Thanks. I’m…I need to soon, though. I’m going to need to tell Kor about it because the more time that goes by, the more I remember. That fucker talked. He didn’t think I could understand him—and at the time, I couldn’t. But it’s all there, and we can use it against him.” A second passed, a breath, and then his arms were back around me, and I sagged into him.

I was still too afraid to believe I could have this, but I wasn’t going to waste a single minute more pushing him away. “I don’t know what to say.”

He laughed quietly, nosing into my hair, then down my neck. His blunt teeth scraped over my shoulder, then his tongue followed along the column of my neck, and my whole body went warm with need. “You need to eat something.”

I scoffed, trying to shove him back, but he clung tight. “Is that some bullshit Alpha thing? Trying to feed me?”

“It’s a person who cares about you thing, because you’ve been sleeping all fuckin’ day, and I know you weren’t taking care of yourself on the road,” he countered. He eased back very slowly, then cupped my cheek and dragged his thumb over my bottom lip. “We have time, Orion. We’re going to be here a while.”

I nodded, not quite willing to let him go, but he didn’t step back far as I turned to the stove and served myself a plate. I felt something satisfied, deep in the pit of my stomach, when he followed me to the sofa, and he let me shove my legs under his thigh as I leaned sideways on the sofa cushions and balanced the bowl on my knees.

The pasta was over-cooked, and the sauce was too sweet, but my stomach was happy for the food. “We need to restock some supplies. I spoke with Misha earlier, and I think we’re gonna be stuck here for more than just a few days.”

I saw the frustration in his eyes, but also the resignation. “My instincts are telling me to hit the road.” He stopped and turned toward me. “You know about Danyal, don’t you?”

It wasn’t really a question, but I nodded anyway. “Misha told me. Can you uh…have you been able to feel him in your pack bond?”

“Yeah, and for now, he’s not being harmed.” Zane let out a frustrated, sub-vocal growl and rubbed a hand down his face. “That little fucker knew better. He knew better, but he left anyway.”

“We don’t even know for sure if he left on his own,” I pointed out. “I mean, they managed to trick Kor and you both to get you away from the Council so you’d be vulnerable. And anyway, even if he did go after you, it’s probably because we’re incapable of thinking rationally when it comes to the people we care about.”

He lifted a brow at me. “You mean like someone taking an untested serum that fucks with your DNA in ways even our top genetic scientist doesn’t understand?”

A flush crept up the back of my neck, and I shrugged. “Something like that. But you and I knew long before you went missing, we weren’t going to have much choice.”

“I would have stopped you,” he said.

My heart thrashed in my chest. “I don’t know that I would have done it…if it hadn’t been you the humans grabbed.”

The truth felt raw, especially when his gaze locked on mine and held me like I was physically bound. Zane sucked in his breath, then with careful, surprisingly tender hands, he took the bowl from me and set it aside. For a moment, the short space between us felt like a canyon, then he reached for me.

Pressing my body to his felt like coming home. It felt like breathing for the first time. We didn’t kiss, but the gap between our lips was infinitesimal, and it would only take the smallest jolt to close the distance.

“Orion,” he breathed out. His hand reached up, nails dragging along my scalp, curling into my hair. I closed my eyes against the sound of my name—unreserved, like a confession I wasn’t ready to hear. Part of me wanted him to let me go, to push me away. It was too fucking much, but it wasn’t close to enough, and I felt like I was going mad with the inability to crawl under his skin and stay there.

“Take me to bed,” I told him.

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