Page 69 of Disturbed Lucidity

“It sounds perfect.” Remi walked over, glaring at her son. “Now, be the good boy I know you can be and go help the brothers. Massacre is waiting for you to tell him where you want your tent set up.”

“Can I share a tent with Colin?”

“Only if it’s okay with Player and Catarina.”

As Jesse ran off, I wrapped my arm around Ivy’s waist and made the introduction. “Ivy, I’d like you to meet Remi. She is the wife of Reaper.”

Remi smiled warmly. “Not if he can’t get his head out of his ass.”

Ivy chuckled when Reaper groaned, walking off, muttering to himself.

“He still in the doghouse?” I asked.

“When isn’t he?” the beautiful woman snarked, before smiling at Ivy. “It is wonderful to meet you. I’m glad you could make it to our little get together.”

“Wasn’t like I had a choice.” Ivy grinned, looking up at me.

“Oh, honey, I know how you feel,” she said, pulling her away from me and, together with Sunny, walked Ivy over to the other women.

Standing there, I watched as Ivy looked back, a little worried, but something one of them said made her turn back around. I still wasn’t sure this was a good idea when Reaper suggested it, but he assured me that if anyone could get Ivy to talk and open up, it would be Remi.

I just hoped he was right.

Chapter Twenty

Ivy

I’d never seen a rowdier group of individuals before in my life. Everything about them exemplified family, fun and lots of laughter. Sitting under one of the trees, I watched while brothers drank, chased kids around, and just had a good time, as if all they cared about was around them. The women mothered children or sat in their men’s lap, relaxing and enjoying themselves. Seeing Luc rocking a sleepy Soleil in his arms, while he stood talking with Reaper, Bullseye and Wraith, was a sight to see. He was so gentle with her. I’d never seen anything like it before. He treated her like she was the most precious person in the world, and I guess she was. All the kids were, even Jesse, who not even an hour after he apologized to me, needed to be saved once more because the little boy had climbed a tree and couldn’t get down.

It was strange to watch the adults interact with the kids and the men as they interacted with the women. I found myself captivated by every little thing they did, watching, waiting for any sign that Luc had lied to me. Only the longer I watched, the more I began to understand.

That was how my childhood was supposed to be.

And that’s when I realized something.

I was jealous.

Jealous of them all.

“I know that look,” Remi said, taking a seat next to me and handing me a beer.

“What look?”

“The how the fuck did I end up with a shit childhood look?”

“That obvious?”

“Yep,” the pretty blonde woman replied, sighing. “I had that same look. Still do sometimes when I see Jesse laugh and play with his friends or just sleep in his bed at home. I know it’s wrong, and I shouldn’t be envious of my own son, but fuck, what I wouldn’t give to have experienced one day of his perfect existence.”

“You seem to have a pretty good life from what I can see.”

“Looks can be deceiving, Ivy. I, more than anyone here, know how you feel.”

I huffed. “No one knows how I feel. Not even Luc.”

“Let’s see,” she started, taking a swig of her beer. “You’re scared you found something wonderful, and you’re terrified you’ll mess it up. You’re scared that no matter how hard you try to forget your past, you’re petrified you will never let go. You’re scared of others judging you, blaming you. You’re scared that whatever you do won’t be enough. But mostly, you’re scared because you are starting to feel things for Luc that are foreign to you, and it’s confusing you.”

Looking at the woman, she continued, “I’m more like you than you realize, Ivy. My father cut me out of my dead mother’s body. Then, not even a few days later, he got rid of me. If that wasn’t bad enough, my so-called adoptive parents only had me for twenty-four hours before some jagoff stole me from them and handed me over to the worst fucking people on the planet who used me as a bargaining chip to further their own agenda. I’ve been molested, kidnapped, beaten, raped, tortured, sold, and used more ways than I can count, but somehow, I am sitting here next to you, in this beautiful state park, enjoying a beer while we watch my family have a good day. So, trust me when I say, I know what you are feeling, and, honey, everything you are feeling is normal.”

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