Page 64 of Disturbed Lucidity

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I was with a friend.”

“You fuck him?”

That stopped me short.

Really? Did he just seriously ask me that after I saw a club whore walk out of his office, smiling?

This fucker had balls.

I scoffed. “That’s rich, considering you had your dick in Gina’s mouth a few hours ago.”

“Not asking you again, Ivy. Did you fuck him?”

“He was a she, and, no, I didn’t fuck her.”

“And I didn’t stick my dick in Gina. She was in my office, for another matter.”

“Doesn’t matter,” I groaned, walking over to the fridge.

Opening it, I grabbed a bottle of water. Twisting the cap, I leaned against the kitchen counter as Luc leaned forward, hanging his head.

“I’m not good at this shit, Ivy. Never was. I don’t know how to do relationships. You want to fuck, I’m your guy. I’ll fuck you anyway you want, but I don’t know how to do the other stuff.”

“You think I’m any good with this shit, either? Hell, Luc, all I know how to do is fuck. That’s what my father trained me to do. But I also know I fucking hate that bitch around you. She makes me want to rip her fucking hair out.”

He chuckled. “God, we’re a fucking pair, aren’t we?”

Smirking, I agreed, “Yeah, I guess we are.”

Walking over, I took a seat at the other end of the couch, not knowing what to do next.

I’d never been in a situation like this, and from the way he was acting, he was in the same boat. I thought it ironic in a way. Both of us were such demanding powerful presences, yet neither of us could figure out the simplicity of a damn relationship.

“I was five years old when my father introduced me to a man named Oliver. He was a married man with three kids. He would come to the club every Thursday just to spend time with me. He liked to watch me. Every time he came to see me, he brought me a new doll. He would watch me play with the doll while he jacked off. One day, he showed up with a pretty dress instead of a doll. He wanted me to wear the dress. He even brushed my hair and put a pink bow in it. When I asked him where my doll was, he said I was the doll.”

“Jesus fuck,” Luc muttered, hanging his head.

“That’s what I know, Luc. Every childhood memory that I have is distorted, twisted, and disturbed. I don’t know how to be normal. I wouldn’t know where to begin. So, if you want me to leave, I will.”

Reaching for me, Luc pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me tight. Holding me close, he kissed my forehead. “Normal is overrated, babe. We’ll figure this out. You’re not going anywhere, Ivy. I don’t know how we will do this, and I’m sure one or both of us will fuck up many times, but fuck, babe. If you’re willing to try, then I am too. Just no more running off, okay?”

“I can agree with that.”

“Now you want to tell me why you came to see me?”

Muttering, I whispered, “I’m stuck in a clubhouse full of men. It’s… bothersome.”

“It’s a clubhouse, Ivy. Men are going to come and go all the time.”

“That’s the problem.”

Luc just stared at me, waiting for me to explain.

Sighing, I just let ’er rip. “I’m horny. Like all the fucking time. This new treatment plan of no meds and talking at length is for the birds. I need those meds to reduce the itch.”

Smirking, Luc swallowed before saying, “Your sex drive is normalizing.”

“I wouldn’t say that. Heightened, rising by the hour, getting ready to go nuclear? Then, yes, my sex drive is normalizing. There is nothing fucking normal about thinking about sex every fucking minute of the day, and when I told Logic, he said I should tell you when I need to fuck. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I want. I can’t concentrate on work. It’s making me irritable.”

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