Page 17 of Disturbed Lucidity

Looking out the window, I refused to lie to my best friend.

I wouldn’t do it.

“Tell me you didn’t go back there?”

“So what if I did?”

“Goddamnit, Ivy!” Slash snapped. “Do you know how dangerous that was? If he got his hands on you, he wouldn’t have hesitated before he killed you. Why did you go back there?”

“Because I had no fucking choice,” I sneered. “You do not know what it’s like having a head full of holes. I can’t make sense of shit. I knew it was a risk, and I was careful. He didn’t know I was there. I made sure of it. But I couldn’t just leave it. I have a right to know. Not all of us have the distinct pleasure of knowing who our parents are.”

“That’s not fair, Ivy. You know I’ve always understood. If you had asked me, I would have gone with you, but you said nothing. Not a fucking word. And now a fucking New York City detective is snooping around. Did anyone recognize you while you were there?”

“No.”

“Well, someone did.”

“What do you mean?” I asked when Slash reached into his cut and removed a San Francisco paper, placing it before me. There on the front page, the headline read: Slain Runaway Mutilated.

“We got a problem.”

My hands trembled when I reached for the paper, reading the report. It was a young teenager. Found in a homeless encampment, naked. Her body was beaten and sexually assaulted. But when I read her attacker branded her, I felt sick to my stomach.

Covering my mouth, I slid from the booth, running for the bathroom. Slamming the bathroom door open, I ran to the nearest stall, dropped to my knees, and threw up everything in my stomach as flashes of a life I once lived filtered in my head.

My body convulsed, ridding itself of everything, and when there was nothing left, the dry heaves took over, straining my stomach muscles until my whole body hurt.

I felt him step up behind me before he flushed the toilet. Helping me to my feet, he walked me over to the sink, where he lifted me up and placed me on the counter. Reaching for a few napkins, he wet them before washing my face, brushing my hair away.

“Breathe, Ivy,” Slash coaxed before asking, “It’s because of him you called me out of the blue, wasn’t it? You didn’t need a fresh start. You’re running again.”

Lifting my head, I felt horrible, but he was right.

Nodding, I muttered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t sure at first, but when the third kid turned up dead, I knew something wasn’t right. I didn’t think. I just grabbed my go-bag and left. I didn’t even tell your mom where I was going. I just got the hell out of the city.”

Slash took a deep breath, then sighed. “Where is your phone?”

Reaching into my back pocket, I handed it to him.

In the next instant, he snapped it in half before tossing it in the trash can. Pushing my hair away from my face, he leaned forward, resting his forehead against mine. “I’ve got you, Ivy. I’m not going anywhere.”

Gripping his wrist tightly, I whispered, “I’m scared, Mikie.”

Curled up on my couch, Slash sighed when he looked out my living room window. “Babe, I gotta tell them.”

“No. You can’t. If they know, they will make me leave.”

“No, they won’t.”

“Yes, they will, and you know it. Every time a family learned who I was, they called DCFS and returned me. No one wants me. That’s why I lived on the streets until your mom found me. Even then, I saw the fear in her eyes when DCFS told her.”

“Mom was scared, yes, but not for the reason you think, babe. She was scared for you. Still is. She made me promise to keep you close. If you won’t let me tell the others, then I think you need to move into the clubhouse.”

“I’m fine here, Slash. You said yourself that the club owns this building. I’ve seen the security cameras. I’m safe here.”

A knock at the door had both of us turning.

“You expecting company?”

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