Page 15 of Disturbed Lucidity

I wanted more.

It wasn’t something I’d planned.

Hell, it wasn’t even a thought until I renewed my relationship with my adoptive son, Solomon, only to find him happily married to my daughter-in-law Sunny.

Talk about a shock to the system when I learned that news.

Never thought for one instance that the moody, closed off, stubborn sixteen-year-old boy who stumbled onto my land all those years ago in North Carolina would find a woman who accepted him for who he was.

I was happy for him.

I truly was, but that feeling of wanting more only grew.

Now, it consumed me. Nothing I did hindered the feeling.

Not the booze.

Not the women.

Not even my brothers.

Sitting at my desk, I leaned back in my chair, looking out the window of my office at the vast panoramic view before me.

Life was different here, that was for damn sure.

Never thought I’d be sitting in a new clubhouse that overlooked the damn Pacific Ocean, but here I was.

I thought it odd. For a long time, all I’d ever wanted was to be left the fuck alone. My past wasn’t something that I wanted to share with anyone. Only those closest to me knew the truth. Even then, they never mentioned shit. What happened all those years ago soiled me forever. I’d resigned myself to living a solitary life.

I accepted it.

I welcomed it.

When my time was up, I never expected to walk out of that place and find my brothers waiting for me.

But they were. Just like the last twelve years were nothing.

I guess on some level I should have known.

Brothers till the end.

After that day, none of us ever looked back.

What was the use?

For a short time, I had it all.

Then I didn’t.

Now, I wanted to live the rest of my life free of complications and do whatever I wanted.

Well, that was the plan.

There was a saying... if you ever want to make God laugh, make a plan.

I smirked at that.

Truer words had never been spoken.

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